The Butcher Shop

Hey, folks, welcome to the third anniversary show of the Cinema Beef Podcast of sorts.

I'm one of your hosts, Gary Hill.

And this is a show that's pretty much a potluck, if you will, of random stuff that I never released.

So it will also include your phone messages of those three magic questions that I asked you to answer.

And most of them, all of them, thank you for your contributions, are pretty freaking great.

And I thank you again for participating in that and taking your time.

But on this episode, you will hear a couple of reviews.

I thought I lost myself, Brian Sammons and Jamie Sammons of this show, one of Martin and one of The Changeling.

And with the Martin review, we'll have our interview with John Amplas that we did so long ago.

That'll be in here as well.

And then also you will get to mine and X's analogy or analysis, if you will, of the two films of Pleasantville and Disney's Zootopia and how they have great relevance on the world of today.

And there might be a lot of problems with that actually, if you'll notice in our review or whatever the hell that is.

But also tonight, with the exception of the first track, all the music will be provided from John Cross's band, Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures and his Magical Ukulele, of course, is the instrument of that great sound.

And that is all from his album, Almost Naked.

But yeah, that's great.

I should all get that on Bandcamp.

And I believe it's on Spotify and maybe iTunes.

Listen, listen, listen.

He wrote a whole album dedicated down to Pleasants before this.

So that's definitely worth a listen.

All of it is.

He's a starving artist.

You guys should feed him graciously.

Come on, boys and girls, sing along, okay?

Thank you for watching!

Hello, welcome back to another episode of Cinema Beef Podcast, the third year anniversary show of the Cinema Beef Podcast.

With me tonight is the normal crew that you know and love, Mr.

Jeffery X.

Martin.

How you doing?

How you doing, sir?

I'm well, happy anniversary to us.

Beautiful.

I feel like, I don't know, productive, but not really.

Because most of our friends did most of the work for this show, but you know, thanks guys, really appreciate that.

That's how anniversaries are supposed to work.

Yeah.

But you guys all did a great job.

But with me, hopefully always and forever, is Jamie Jenkins, how are you?

I am doing okay.

Glad to be here, glad to be celebrating an anniversary.

It is always a fun time.

How are you doing today?

If you guys hear something in the background, some weird robot noises, we are in the studio molesting transformers.

Ball gags are working on those things, so I'm just throwing it out there.

But we'll start the show like we always start, and I'll ask X, what he's been watching lately?

Two things that you need to check out on Netflix.

I binge-watched the CNN documentary series about the 70s today.

It's really, really, really good.

If you care about the 70s at all, which I do probably more than I should, but yeah, totally check that out.

It's really, really well done.

But the other thing on Netflix is the new Mike Flanagan movie, Hush, which needs to be seen by every horror fan out there.

It is so good.

It is so much fun.

It's really well done.

Flanagan is no fucking joke.

Oh, no kidding.

That guy is amazing.

He is amazing.

He is awesome.

He is the reason I have hope for Ouija 2.

He's the only reason I have hope for Ouija 2.

I don't give a shit about Ouija, and I don't care that he's going to be a sequel, but knowing that he, at least last I heard, was attached to do it, makes me actually want to see it because so far he has done no wrong for me.

Yeah, same here.

And that's pretty much it.

Maybe some 70s porn because I keep getting these DVDs from Impulse.

Yeah, I see Cudi is watching some 70s porn in their posts there.

I was like, okay.

Oh, the best.

And you know, it's not even like the pretty porn.

It's like where you can't even correct the color anymore.

So it's like your vagina is purple.

And there's, I don't know why.

It's just that whole region is a bright violet.

So where you can't even identify the genitals because it's so hairy, right?

No, you can't see them.

It's just like a bad Doppler radar image.

Oh my God.

But yeah, Jamie, what did you watch lately, girl?

Oh, a dish.

That was a thing.

Let me tell you, going in, Netflix predicted that just based on other stuff we watch, Netflix predicted that I would like it to the tune of One Star.

By the time I got about halfway through the season, they had bumped it up to two.

I guess they figured, well, we don't fucking know.

If you're still watching it, you must like it.

So they bumped it up to two.

In my opinion, it was no better or worse than the original show, except that I really missed Bob Saget.

I love Bob Saget and I wanted more of him.

But as far as writing goes and acting, it was no worse than the original show.

And it's not like I really cared for it, but once I got into it, I couldn't stop.

I had to see it through to the end.

So there's that.

Well, it's not the end, though, because they got a second season like the week after it came on.

Yeah.

But alright.

I mean, it was kind of cool the way they were making some jabs at the Olsen Twins throughout.

They made a lot of jabs at the Olsen Twins.

I thought that was really funny.

Yeah, I mean, they did a good job of doing some things really well, but it was corny as hell, but then the Full House always was.

I watched Hush, of course, which X was just talking about, and I also highly recommend.

It's amazing.

I mean, Flanagan is a genius.

I love him.

And like I said, he's done no wrong for me, and I don't see it happening anytime soon.

Now, the only thing is, like I was talking about with Ouija, there is a possibility that even with him directing it, it may not be good, and that's because it's not his own property.

So that can always happen, but it gives me hope.

Other than that, trying to think.

Oh, hashtag horror, hashtag blech.

Don't like that movie.

What the hell?

Is that a movie?

It was awful.

Wasn't that horrible?

It was so bad.

It was so, so bad.

I mean, she was trying so hard to be artistic that it just, it failed miserably to me as a horror film and as an art piece.

It was just awful.

Yeah.

Just terrible.

And if you read interviews with the filmmaker, which I did afterwards, because I was like, let me try to climb in this woman's head and see exactly where she was, where she thought she was coming from.

I mean, I try to give people the benefit of a doubt.

So I read a bunch of interviews with her and she is all up in this shit.

I mean, she is really high on this.

Like she is convinced that she made this astounding film and it premiered at the Museum of Art somewhere.

And I guess she just is like thinks it's all really high minded and everything.

It was an assault to the senses for one.

There were so many points that she was trying to make that I could tell that she was trying to make, but none of it was cohesive and pretty much she failed every one of those points because she attempted to cover everything from cyber bullying to us all being wrapped up in our devices, to parents not really paying attention to their children, to fat shaming mean girls.

I mean, she really tried to hit all of those marks and it was so scatter shot that...

Like a big after school special there or what the hell is going on?

It was a fucking mess is what it was.

And it just...

It looked like it was shot through a slot machine.

It was terrible.

Awful.

I don't recommend it at all.

If you haven't figured that out by now, I'm going to go ahead and tell you I don't recommend it at all.

Other than that, Tales from the Dark Side, The Moody.

I watched that for Skeleton Crew.

That new show should be coming out soon.

And Season 3 of Walking Dead, which for me was a little underwhelming.

It's like the Eddie Murphy joke where he's talking about using crackers as a metaphor for sex.

You know, you wait all that time for the cracker, and he gets so excited when you get it, you think it's a writz, but it's not.

That was Negan for you guys.

They dangle Negan over your head for the whole freaking season.

You get real excited to see him, and then, you know, that was it.

Negan himself is full on writz.

I love Jeffrey Dean Morgan, but he's full on writz.

I mean, yeah, he's not great value or anything.

He is straight up writz.

But it just irritated me because it took 90 minutes for them to do nothing.

And I'm like, well, you could have done that in your regular time slot.

You could have done that in 60 minutes.

Why did you take 19 minutes to do nothing?

Then I wouldn't have been so irritated.

But I wasted another half hour of my time with nothing.

And so I still love The Walking Dead.

That's not going to change.

It's just, I was just like, oh, man.

And then we've been rewatching the last episode, last season of Game of Thrones, because the new season starts in five days.

So there you have it.

That's what I've been watching.

First things first, it's playoff time.

My beloved Chicago Blackhawks.

Tired of watching that.

They play tonight at 8.30 as we, well, 9.30, your guys' time.

Tonight's rather excited for us to tie up that series.

And they're playing the St.

Louis Blues, you know, sorry, killed by Belissa, the show, but these are two teams that really hate each other.

If that makes the series all that much more fun for me to watch, because they're just aggressive all over the place.

Secondly, they're really boring you guys at the sports ball, but Chicago Cubs baseball is on, and I'm really excited about that this season.

I haven't been excited about the Cubs in, like, five seasons, so I've been watching a lot of those.

I think that the biggest thing for me in these past couple days that I've seen and tugged at my heartstrings and my kidstrings and every kind of string you can think of is I'm going to call it the motherfucking Jungle Book, the brand new one.

Mr.

Fabro dug into my heart and soul and threw me into that world.

And if you like Jungle Book at all, I think you'll really enjoy yourself, you know, with these great, freak-looking CG animals and this youngster playing Mowgli.

It's goddamn enjoyable, so check that out.

After that, I saw this movie called Criminal.

If you guys have seen previous for this, it's got Gary Oldman in it.

Ryan Reynolds briefly is in it, in a way.

And well, it's Tommy Lee Jones.

And that's about your main actors, I think.

Oh, yeah, I did hear about that.

I looked it up because it was playing in the theater.

So I looked it up to see what it was.

Costars in it, Costars in it, and it's unforgettable.

It's unforgettable.

And I'll tell you why, OK?

Because I don't want I don't want I didn't want to spoil this film for you guys.

But this is a film you guys should not watch because the plot synopsis is this.

Ryan Reynolds is like a CIA or one of those kind of agents.

And he's going after this guy who has a flash drive that basically let off any missile anywhere in the world.

And he's going to pay him off.

And then he gets killed while trying to beat this guy.

And since he's the only one who knows who this guy is, their plot is to take a piece of his brain out of his head and put it in a vicious murdering killer person that's in prison, played by Kevin Costner, because they think that the memories from his brain will go into his brain.

And once you know it, the science is real dumb, but it works.

It has a real dumb story and a real dumb ending.

Because, yeah, I don't, yeah, I'm just gonna do it right now.

Sounds about as plausible as Face Off.

Yeah, but Face Off is fun.

This is boring as shit.

Yes, you believe that Nicolas Cage and John Travolta would, even with switched faces, would look anything.

You know, I don't even, that movie's so dumb.

It's fun, though.

It's fun.

It is fun.

This movie, you can't throw that caution to the wind.

Oh, how do you put a piece of brain in somebody else's brain?

I mean, that's going to work.

How do you take somebody's face off and put it on somebody else's face?

See, John Woo made it fun.

This movie is boring as shit.

This is 30 minutes of him hanging out at the widow's house with the kid.

It was worse than, and I piss on the Avengers so much, it was worse than hanging out at Hawkeye's house in Avengers Part 2, OK?

That's all I'm saying.

Like 10 times worse.

It was almost painful.

Because they make you forget that he was like this vicious killer, that they showed pictures of him grisly murdering people in prison, and all of a sudden, he's a stand up guy, because he's got a piece of this guy's brain in him.

Is he clipping houses?

Oh, I hope so, man.

Not in this movie, maybe in the sequel that never happened.

You know, I don't know.

It's really boring, really stupid.

But you know what's not really boring, really stupid?

I've been binge watching Arrow on Netflix, and I've been really enjoying that.

And that is a show that I did not enjoy for the first four episodes, but let me tell you, it really kicked into high gear.

And then I got a little geek boner this morning, because I was watching it at work, and if you guys know what Arrow is, he has these trick arrows.

And one of them he used to use, he had like a fist on the end of it, and he used the arrow with a fist on the end of it, and I got really excited as a nerd that this happened on television.

It's implausible, it's stupid, but this arrow has a fist on the end of it, and he shot it at somebody, and I got really excited.

And I got a new geek crush from that show.

She's one of the players, Felicity Smoke, on the show.

Just picture a female humanoid of the human nature that looks like her.

And then you have Felicity Smoke, because she's nerdy and she's cute, and I'm like, oh!

I'm so into her now.

Jamie, you haven't been replaced, Jamie.

I'm just saying, she has it in all the right places, okay?

I don't know if the actress that plays her has any traits, but I like to think that she does.

So, you know, just throwing it out there.

But that's fine.

What if it can't get through?

Oh, it does get me through.

Yeah, it gives you the feels, as Court called it in that one show we did.

It's the little things that get me going.

I can't help these things.

Besides, I haven't watched Home yet, but I've heard good things from you.

If you guys listen to Bo's message later, he talks about it.

This is the film I'm going to watch now on Netflix, apparently, because I hear it's really good and not the after school special one that Jamie was talking about, because it sounds awful.

Don't do it.

Don't do it!

You'll actually hear that one.

You'll hear that one mentioned again in Brian's message.

He has a little bit of a spoiler there.

We haven't got one already.

I don't know where to put them, but he tried to rage quit it and I wouldn't let him.

Oh, boy.

Just because I was trying to give it a chance.

I was trying to, you know, let it have the opportunity to make a point.

Jeff, did you guys make it all the way through?

Okay.

Yeah.

And hooray for me.

I don't know what that says.

Well, you and I both did, but I don't know.

Yeah, I guess that's not something to be proud of, but God damn, that movie's bad.

It was fun to watch.

It was fun to watch Timothy Hutton completely debase himself.

Oh my God, that broke my heart too.

But if you want to laugh your ass off, read some of these interviews.

It's pretty funny because you're like, is this the same movie?

But with that, this is our third anniversary show, and we're going to have a segment or two on here, but most of this show, I got to say a good majority of this show, depending on what we put on it, maybe some extra surprises on there, will be messages that I've requested from people.

I requested it from everybody, but I reached out to certain people because I wasn't getting many responses, but I think we got a good 15 or 16 of them, so that was some pretty goddamn good responding from our friends to tell us their three greatest film beefs, their greatest film rage quit, and the film that inspired them to the way they watch films today.

And thank you guys for sending those in and taking the time.

Some are pretty fucking awesome.

I think all of them are.

All you guys are awesome.

Most definitely.

First things first, you guys will hear.

Starting to show up with some controversy anyway is mine and X's review of sorts of the film's pleasant villains, Zootopia.

But with a little twist on them, we hope for lots and lots of hate mail like we always do.

But you'll hear that right now.

What's up, Daddy-O?

I'm going.

Oh my God.

What was so funny?

It was coming through my headsets and through my regular speakers at the same time, and I was like, what the hell is going on here?

I thought you were laughing at the Zumbi koala bear again.

That is funny.

I do enjoy that.

How's everything going?

How was Duncan and the boys?

It was a wild time.

We did Creepshow 1 and 2, so that's always either a criticism or you had a lot of fun with it, so it's one of those things.

I know Doug hated it.

Oh, yeah, but it was a good time.

He had a lot of stuff to say about it, so.

I heard he defended Jason Goes to Hell and almost had you rolling in the aisles.

I just can't.

You get to a point with him where it's like, are you fucking trolling me?

What?

Are you serious?

I will say that Cray and Duke is the best character in any Friday the 13th film, though, so it's...

That hurts, but it's true.

So yeah, he had a blast.

You guys at Highlander 2, you said?

What else did you guys do?

Let's see, we did Highlander 2, Gremlins 2, which I love.

Jason Goes to Hell and The Black Bird.

What's The Black Bird?

It's the sequel to The Maltese Falcon.

Really?

But it's a comedy.

Who threw that one out there?

1975, George, it was Doug's pick because Doug.

Are you getting that weird echo?

Are you hearing that?

Not really.

How about now, you hear me OK?

I can hear you OK.

It's me that's echoing.

I don't hear you at all echoing, so.

OK.

Maybe it's just on your end.

Hey, your voice sounds fine over here.

All right.

Well, screw it then.

Let's roll.

Let's roll.

Yeah, let's roll.

All right.

We'll shoot this in three, two and one.

Hello, folks.

So welcome back to the Beef Podcast with this very special report, if you will.

I couldn't do this on my own.

I tried.

I tried and tried again.

So I had to bring in my partner in crime, Mr.

Jeffrey X.

Martin, to do this with me.

How are you doing, sir?

I am doing well.

You know, it amazes me at times the lengths that I will go for you and for this show.

But I've done it.

I've watched a Disney movie, did it for you.

It's all for you.

It's all for you, Damien.

Watch.

Watch me.

Oh, my God.

But yeah, we're going to talk about basically casual racism in films.

Either you're a fan of that or you're not a fan of that.

I mean, they've been doing it for years and years and years.

I mean, white guys playing American Indians for eons and eons.

That's true.

And Burt Reynolds says, not the whole Joe.

Oh, my God.

We did.

We did that movie once.

It was fun.

Oh, my God.

But yeah, we're talking about basically two films called Something Old and Something New, something that came out from over my teens.

Let's kick it off with Pleasantville.

You know, if you guys don't know what that film is, basically about a TV nerd played by Toad McGuire, who him and his spunky sister.

I mean, it's a jizz joke, but I'm sure she had a...

It certainly could be.

She liked to have fun, the sister of his.

They get sucked into this 1950s Leave It To Beaver 80 Griffith Show type television show where they're replaced, they replaced the son and daughter in this family, which one issue I have with the film is, are the son and daughter from Pleasantville inside the modern world?

You don't know.

This is one of those things, I guess, you know.

Or they're just stuck in television limbo.

They're stuck in the static, I guess, if you will.

They're stuck with Don Knotts.

They're stuck with Don Knotts doing stuff in this movie.

Fixing TVs.

Fixing TVs.

But yeah, they start to get in, well, the boy, the son, Toad McGuire, starts to get into this whole world that he loves, you know, because they have, at home, it's not so well, they got the divorcee mom, played by, I think, what's the actress's name?

That is Jane Kazmary from Malcolm in the Middle.

I was going to say Krenkowski, but that's the wrong Jane.

But yeah, she's divorced, so it's your typical late 90s, you know, family situation, broken home, but not really because they got money, but whatever.

So yeah, he's really happy in his new pleasantville digs, you know, where everybody's happy, everybody's not freethinking and, you know, mom and dad are supposedly happily married.

But yeah, it basically goes on and on in chaos and chaos.

But I'm going to leave it to you, my friend Jeff, to say what you think about the casual racism in pleasantville.

See, pleasantville is a weird platform because I think it tries to be a message film.

But what happens in pleasantville, it becomes an every single message film.

Anything you want to throw on to this movie, you can throw on to it.

Do you hate the commies?

Great.

Watch pleasantville.

Do you hate women?

Perfect.

Watch pleasantville.

Do you hate men?

Excellent.

Watch pleasantville.

Do you hate bowling?

There's not really one.

Because if you watch the film, it's just like 1950s culture.

The beds are separate so they can't fuck, but there's obviously kids in pleasantville.

So obviously they do have sex with each other because kids don't come out of thin air unless they believe that the stork delivers them to their doorsteps, which I don't know, dude.

I don't know.

Stretched Cunningham went upstairs and never came back down.

There's other stuff going on in this film, basically, you know, because everything's perfect.

They win every basketball game.

Dinners are made on time, you know, mom's meatloaf is apparent and all this stuff.

But we throw all these combustible elements like, you know, free thinking in there.

It just it just throws the moral majority off by saying, hey, we got to fix this because we're men.

And, you know, it reminds me of that song in Shock Treatment, you know, where we're we're Janet's dad is singing this song, which I call it the masculine song because he's if you haven't seen it before, he's just singing this this jaunty tune about how a man a man should wax the car, a man should tend the bar, a man should know the setting of the spark plugs get big old misogynistic song, and that's basically the way the men treat the women of this film.

Well, I'm not slapping them around, but they might as well be doing it emotionally because they they know their place and the men tell them where their place is.

Basically you're in the home, dinner's going to be ready on time, but not mean about it, you know, because I've heard mean things about those kind of things.

But yeah, the status quo of this film is definitely threatened by these new elements of, you know, in this case, people turning into color because they have these new elements into their lives that basically shake up their beings and the fact that you have the colored people and the black and white people, you know, in a 1950s setting makes it racist enough as it is because these people are straight up discriminated in the street to the point where William H.

Macy, whose actor I love, makes um, what's the mom's actress name?

I've seen her in a lot of things.

Joan Allen.

Yeah, Joan Allen.

She gets new color and he makes her basically go, you know, white face, if you will.

It's almost like reverse black face.

Just to say, you know, let's keep appearances up to say you're not this.

Well, yeah, but you have to remember, too, the reason that she got color was because her daughter, you know, pseudo daughter, told her how to rub one out the tub.

And then, you know, the fire happens for some way when she orgasms, which I guess is symbolic, I guess, because they never had a fire in Pleasantville.

The fireman's old deal, the fireman's only purpose was to get cats out of trees.

But apparently, fires are lit when Joan Allen's loins get all fired up, you know.

Well, it's the burning bush.

Yeah, STDs get introduced into Pleasantville, but not really in this movie.

Maybe in Pleasantville, too, if that ever happened, but not really.

I don't know, because Reeve Witherspoon fucks Paul Walker and he disappears.

Yes, he does not show up again for the rest of the movie.

What the hell?

I didn't keep him locked in the basement because he can't hit those those those baskets anymore.

You know, I think she American Gods did with her gigantic vagina, swallowed him whole.

He does disappear from that film, though, once he he has sex with her.

And then he's all he's all excited about the sex and he tells all his friends about the sex and then all their basketball games are thrown off.

But that's that's not like the worst part about this film.

The worst part about this film is the fact that they they whitewash a lot of things in this film, like just throwing this much like the next time we talk about this, this classic 1950s racism in there, especially, you know, the things about about the commies, McCarthyism by saying all this new stuff, because they did in Pleasantville, they have no books, they have no music.

But all of a sudden, well, these new elements put in, they know who Buddy Holly is and they know what all these these works of art are and they know what all these classic novels are now.

But they go to the point of saying, this is what making this making our community all fucked up.

So there's a part where they're burning books.

There's a point where they're basically being racist towards Jeff Daniels in the movie by destroying his shop because he he paints a nude mural of Joan Ellen on the wall because, you know, that's a sin, the coveting your neighbor's wife and whatever, you know.

Oh, he got beyond the coveting aspect.

I'm not sure that's racism as much as that is anti-intellectualism.

Yeah, but anything that hurts the status quo, which in this film is especially, you know, bad.

But the fact that they chose to go the way they did by making, you know, certain people in color and certain people, you know, in black and white.

And the black and white folks are the ones that are still in control of the town and this that are the other.

And it's pretty much summed up at the end of this film where Jeff Daniels and Toby McGuire go on trial for painting a brand new mural after they destroy the show shop.

And you have all the black and white sitting on the bottom floor.

You have all the colored sitting at the top floor.

Like they're not good enough to sit down there, you know, is being segregated with the black and white folks because they might, I guess, rub off some some free thinking on them, you know.

Rub off.

Oh, my God.

Any points of the film where you felt awkward about just like, well, I see what you did there kind of thing, you know.

It's pretty heavy handed, man.

I mean, it's hard not to, you know, it's like, oh, these people who aren't in color, obviously, they must see everything in black and white because they are black and white.

So I don't know.

It's like I said, it's pretty heavy handed and it goes all over the place.

So I found it kind of unsettling that there wasn't a real solid ending.

Everybody went back home.

I also don't like the there's there's there's a considerable amount of slut shaming in this film.

You know, because Reese Witherspoon is sexually active.

And when she ends up inside the TV show where nobody understands what sex is.

And like I said, she calls Paul Walker to oblivion.

He just never comes.

Maybe spontaneously combust.

That's a deleted scene.

Maybe, you know, it might be a real cartoony.

Like she pulls like his pin or something and he starts blowing away like a like a balloon.

It's like he just he just comes and he just this he just.

Right.

Just up into the strategy.

Fireworks fireworks and glitter just shoot out of his dick.

But you know, by the end of it, she's like a bookworm and she's wearing glasses and she's going to college.

And I'm not saying that any of those things are bad.

But the implication is, is that now she's approved.

I don't think that those two things are.

You can be smart and still be sexually independent and aggressive.

And you know, you don't have to lose that just because you can do math or you read books.

And I think that something that was supposed to be kind of a pro feminist view actually got twisted in that movie and became kind of anti feminist.

I don't like that.

I don't know how well I see what you're saying.

I don't totally agree all the way because I think she gained a sense of maturity because at the beginning of the film, she was just this girl.

She's just a girl who can't say no, apparently, because Gil said that on a podcast reset.

Couldn't stop laughing.

You know, but now she's like, she's matured now that she's been in pleasure, which is why I guess she chooses to stay.

And plus, now the fact that there's all these new elements implemented by saying, yeah, now a woman can go to college.

And now there is a road outside of Pleasantville that we didn't know was there before.

And now, apparently, mom could have an open relationship with the soda jerk because that scene was awkward at the end where they're just sitting on the bench together, staring at each other.

And dad's like, I guess, cold hot dogs tonight again.

You know, she gives up that glare.

And it all ends in a pretty little dreary old little bowl of Fiona Apple covering the Beatles across the universe.

Yeah.

Just keep us 90s kids all uncoafed.

Because it came out right at the time where I was going to graduate high school.

It was one of those things, just just something else to throw out there to say, you know what?

The world's a shitty place.

You know what?

You should agree with everything this is saying.

And right with the school, you either get a chance to possibly go to college, either learn a trade or they had army recruiters there.

And that's basically it's almost like the same field to me by saying, you know, this is the way the world is.

And there's nothing you could do about it.

But guess what, people, let's shake things up a bit.

And, you know, and that's what Pleasantville did, I think, in a good way and in a bad way.

But at the same time, it came out right, right there.

And it hit me in discomfort zone for when it came out, which is why I don't show a lot of love for the film.

Like, I know a lot of folks I've told, like, so you don't see this fucking subtext, this movie.

It's like, dude, you're fucking crazy.

I was like, fucking watch it again, you know, and people, they disagree with me.

And then they watch it again and they say, wow, I guess he kind of had a point.

Like, yeah, I guess I kind of did.

Just, yeah, it's it's a really strange animal that I happen to enjoy.

But at the same time, it's it's it's really heavy handed, like you said, with a lot of the themes in it.

I think there's more subtext than context.

Yeah, definitely.

But Don Nott is pretty great in it, you know, if you got the comedy relief, I guess he was pretty great in it, you know, there's a little a little nod to the to the old to the old Mayberry days.

Let's get Don Nott because we couldn't get Andy Griffith, but I'll tell you, but he'll do Spy Hard all day long, which I'm not I'm not I'm not hating it.

I'm not hating on Spy Hard.

I love Spy Hard, but he is redonkulous in that movie, you know.

Oh, my God.

But anything else you want to say about Pleasantville?

And then we'll move on, sir.

It's it's worth one watch.

But I mean, you know, you'll get it because it won't let you not get it.

It's kind of like the vegan of of of 90s films in it.

You know, it's like I'm a vegan and I'm going to let you guys know about it.

I don't eat anything that comes comes from a face.

Aren't you fucking special?

Yeah, it's a vegan crossfit after school special.

I think at the end of the vegan culture, it's going to end up with them eating each other, you know, just beginning to get all in a big room.

That would be a great movie, by the way.

Vegan zombies.

I'm talking to you asylum.

Just make them, you know, if you're a vegan, all of a sudden you're a zombie.

Just set it in San Francisco or something.

Set it in Idaho, where it's nothing but farms.

People will say the same about, you know, people who vape, no offense, but a lot of folks think they're just as smug as vegans, and I don't think that's fair, you know?

I vape, so there.

But, yeah.

You don't offend me with that.

But we're going to do the Something New, which I guess will be not the latest entry, but it's available for you guys to own now if you guys want to go run on and go buy this for your unsuspecting children.

Disney's foray into another foray into the animal kingdom is Zootopia.

I made X watch a Disney movie, so I'm going to ask X again, what did you think about Zootopia, sir?

I did not hate it.

I thought the plot took some interesting turns.

It had some horror elements to it, which I particularly enjoyed.

But at the same time, this is definitely a message movie.

I don't think it's racist, but I think it deals heavily with racism.

And that's a difference.

Because you're supposed to have all the animals living together and the predators don't attack the prey.

And everybody gets along and everything is fine.

But it goes really weirdly into like a nature versus nurture kind of area.

And I can see how it would be a little bit uncomfortable, you know, for some people to watch, especially since the main character is a cop, which, you know, lately that's maybe not the best, you know, job to brag about having, unfortunately.

So, I don't know, it's good.

It's a little bit more serious than you would expect from your typical Disney film.

And in some ways, that kind of irritates me because, you know, you watch old Disney for shit like that.

The same way you watch like old war time Looney Tunes cartoons.

It's just like, wow, I can't believe they're actually getting away with this on screen.

This one's really safe and a little bit, well, more than a little bit PC, not completely sanitized, but close to it.

But it's still, the characters are a lot of fun.

So I'd watch it just for that.

Well, you mentioned that there's not a lot of racism in this film.

I kind of wholeheartedly disagree because I think this is...

I knew you would.

This is, you know, I think the best black exploitation film that Disney has to offer.

And let me explain because it goes into the plot towards the end of the movie, too, which makes it totally off the rails into a black exploitation sense.

This film, in the first 15 minutes, there's a fox in the film, which is Judy Hopps, which they say is not...

No, she's a rabbit.

They say that it's not 21 Jump Street reference, but there's a character in 21 Jump Street played by Holly Robinson, who's African American, named Judy Hopps.

And I think Judy Hopps is a tribute to that, but they say it's not.

But I think they're fucking lying in my face.

Much like the same folks who think that Battle Royale is not the hunger...

The Hunger Games is not Battle Royale.

And they had to flip that in reverse there real fast, where I get the fucking Net Nerds kicking my ass.

But yeah, the fox in the film, who basically becomes her buddy in the film, or the rigs to her murtau, I guess you would call it.

Exactly.

Yeah, he basically gets racially discriminated against by being refused service within the first 15 minutes of this film.

Because as a fox, he's a predator, and they don't want his kind in their ice cream shop.

Can't you go to the one up the street?

Which is basically saying, go on the other side of the tracks, and stay the fuck out of our ice cream shop.

They don't outright say that, but if you watch the film, and I've seen this film twice in theaters, and every time that scene comes on, my arm dropped and so did my jaw, lower than Sylvester Stallone by saying, yep, they just did that in a fucking Disney movie, in this day and age, and parents did not have a problem with it.

It's like, yeah, that's kind of not right for...

You mentioned After School Specials, let's sit down and explain the ramifications of what just happened here, as it fits to a society that happened like 50 years ago.

Oh, yeah, but nobody in the movie claims that, you know, that that's like the right way to do things.

They should be discriminating against that fox.

I mean, the fox...

I mean, they're showing it, but they're not promoting it.

Yeah, that's true, but still, the fact that they show it in the film so openly, you even have the fucking sign, we have a right to refuse service to anybody, you know, that kind of thing.

It's almost like that scene in Remember the Titans, which is another Disney movie.

I'm very heavy-handed with the racism shit, but again, it took place in that time where this might have happened, where the Titans go to a restaurant, they tell me they can pick up their food from the kitchen because they don't want black folks in the restaurant.

And, you know, it's...

Yeah, there's a lot of little stuff, and the whole idea of the predators being not necessarily a bad thing, but basically, in the movie, there's a group of predators who, they say, they call it going savage, which basically means they change from their docile predator ways to going back to their ancestral way that they're supposed to be by attacking other citizens of Zootopia.

Well, these animals are supposedly missing, but you find out later that the mayor is hiding them away to cover up their savageness, to not create a panic, obviously, amongst the people, the citizens of Zootopia.

And yeah, that's just like crazy, the fact that the whole idea of that comes into play later on, which is the whole blaxploitation that I was speaking of.

But you gotta look at Zootopia, you gotta look at the whole thing of how it's almost segregated in a way, which it almost would have to be, because you have many different kinds of animals in Zootopia.

They have the rainforest segment, they have the tundra segment, and it's fine.

That's not too racist, and I was kind of overreacting about that a bit, that they're all segregated, but then you gotta remember animals, you know, live in different climates and blah, blah, bullshit, but all of a sudden, they're just hanging out in Times Square, you know, in the heart of Station One.

And of course, it's this time, so you gotta have the overly effeminate secretary-type person who's so fatty gets donuts stuck in his fur, you know, because that's funny, donuts get stuck in your fur because you're so fat, you know.

Right on.

Yeah, that's hilarious.

People see the sloth scene at the DMV in the commercial, and that's really funny.

But there's a lot of really funny stuff in this film.

I love that.

I love the Weasel mob boss scenes.

Those are great.

He's doing his best Marlon Brando impression.

That was a terrible Marlon Brando impression.

I just did, but you know, it's pretty great.

The voice actor who did the Marlon Brando impression of the Weasel godfather, whose daughter is getting married on this day, you know.

They do the whole godfather thing, and it's quite wonderful.

And that's really fun, yeah.

I have to, baby.

I have to.

But then you get to the deeper end of the film, where basically they find all of these savage creatures are locked up, and of course, you know, they find this out, Judy and the Fox character.

And of course, the media gets involved, because Judy is this hero cop now, and she finds these lost predators, if you will, that were tucked away by the mayor for good reason.

Again, not to create a panic.

They want to create a panic amongst citizens of Zootopia.

But yeah, then it goes in this whole schmiel, where she gets to the podium, and all of a sudden she starts spouting racist shit about fucking predators, about how they just reform back to their savage ways, which basically is saying, why don't you go back to Africa, you fucking savage bastard, and go kill a zebra or some shit like that.

And you know, that part got me, and I was like, OK.

And then, of course, this creates a tension between her and the fox, because the fox is a predator, and he starts going into the whole thing about, you know, you just call us you people, that kind of deal.

You're going to think they're promoting, you know, my anger about, you know, stuff that goes on in the minority community.

But I'm not.

This is just what's in this movie.

And you can either recognize that or you can't, you know.

But the great twist in this movie is you find out, because early in the movie, somebody steals these things, which they thought are weeds.

The chief thought they were weeds, but they're not.

They're basins.

I thought they were onions.

But there are these bulbs that grow into these flowers.

Basically, this is the thing that's making these animals go savage, which is perpetrated by the new mayor, who's a little sheep, a little cute little sheep.

But she has a grand plan to put the prey in power and keep the predators at bay, which is done with these things that they call night howlers.

It makes all the animals go savage, and that's the great Disney blaxploitation angle that nobody saw.

Because it's very, very free the hard way, if you think about it, in films like that, where they're going to poison the water supply.

If you've never seen it before, they poison the water supply for the white folks who live, but the black folks would die.

But this isn't that severe.

It's basically making people terrified of their neighbors, almost, by saying...

It's also very undercover, brother.

Except with no General's Fried Chicken, it's butt kicking.

I love undercover, brother.

It's pretty great.

But yeah, it's just a little crazy segments.

And of course, you have the new segment, where Shakira, who's a gazelle, not named gazelle, if you will.

She's a pop singer in the film, and she's doing the whole, almost like what we're going through now with the Black Lives Matter thing, but more peaceful, not, you know, sitting at Tastes Chicago, where Chicago is a terrible community.

I mean, if Black Lives Matter, they're killing each other as soon as it hits 60 degrees.

It's fucking terrible.

I heard a story about the cops found 46 shell casings, and number 47 killed a little girl.

This is why I don't watch the news in Chicago, people, because it's a fucking terrible place to live.

People ask you, what's so great about Chicago winters?

It's like it's too cold outside.

They're not out shooting each other.

So the news is kind of tame, and I like that, you know, but I went into a whole diatribe there, but yeah, there's all the whole...

That's all right, that's all right.

Let it happen.

The whole point of Zootopia, which is it's a great family film.

If you want to sit your kids in front of the television and watch it with them and not explain all the little subtext that's going on in the film, because it's there, and if you're a voyeur like myself, who, like I said, I've seen this twice in theaters, and I watched it all the other times too, just to take it all in, it is really a film that is very heavy handed.

Again, a heavy handed film by Disney, which is by saying all these themes, but not directly throwing them out there, so I guess it's okay, because the kids won't get it.

This is a studio that hates mothers.

I mean, it hates parents in general.

You know, if you watched The Good Dinosaur, I watched that movie, Newsflash, something tragic happens in 20 minutes where the father dies in the flood.

It's really strange.

And Dumbo, mother dies, Bambi's mother dies.

Well, you assume that Dumbo's mother is going to die, because she's savage, if you will.

You know?

Saying Disney makes traumatic movies is like saying Cannon used to love Chuck Norris.

I mean, it's just a fact.

That's just what Disney does.

They pull you in, they fucking kill somebody.

They're all about orphaning children and leaving them to be raised by strangers.

Ugh, that's why I don't watch shit like that.

Zootopia is not that bad, but you know what?

I really do think that you're going to have to have a discussion with younger kids about it when you're done, because as far as society goes, it's a pretty fucking good mirror.

And it's probably a great gateway film to discussing those kinds of issues.

It's not an accident, I think.

It's not an accident at all that this movie happened.

You know, the stuff we're going through now, not me personally, but as a society, it's going through now, and it wasn't an accident this film was released when it was, and I'm sure they had many rewrites where they added stuff in, but I think there's enough comic relief.

And then, of course, at the end, it's wrapped up in a nice, moral little bow, where, of course, the fox who was a degenerate, he was a criminal, now becomes...

He's a great criminal.

I love the popsicle bit.

It was a great hustle, and you know, and that's great, and it wraps itself up in, of course, a nice little moral bow where everybody's all happily ever after.

Evil is punished.

The bad guys are in prison.

Whatever.

Everybody's living in perfect harmony in Zootopia, which is fine, but it's not the world we live in, and it's not the world they created in that film.

Right.

And again, like Pleasantville, there's a wrap-up, but it's not a real solid wrap-up, because according to Pleasantville, what you do to bring everybody together is you listen to Shakira.

Oh, yeah.

Does that work?

Yeah, I don't think it works for sure with Shakira, but you know, the message is there for the fact that, you know, and I forgot to mention this earlier, she has very, her parents who are carrot farmers are very, you know, they're very complacent people who tell her at a very young age that you should stay in your place in society.

Yeah, don't try.

Rabbits are meant to do this and nothing else.

We're meant to stay docile.

We don't like confrontation.

You shouldn't go out and try to succeed in something that you love, which we know one great thing about the Judy Hopps, Judy Hopps character is that she defies all that.

She goes to be something greater than herself.

So if you want to look for something, as far as the subtext goes, about somebody, a character you can look up to, except for the little bit of racist spouts that she had on the podium there.

A young female humanoid, eight, nine years old, ten years old, could look up to Judy Hopps in a really wonderful way.

And I can't say about that about many Disney characters.

I agree.

Especially you mentioned before, like in the 60s where they had Princess This and Princess That, but now the way Disney does it now, where women are a lot more independent.

I think it started with Beauty and the Beast, but even then she was kind of stuck where she was.

But if you watch a film like Tangled, which took the Rapunzel story and turns it on its head, where she's kicking people's asses with that hair of hers and she's doing flip kicks and she's very independent and can take care of herself, it gives young female people a strong female character to look up to.

Girls can do things now.

Even in Zootopia, people, you know.

And the song is scary, the Try Anything song, I think it's a nice wrap up, you know, to say that this is a song that goes with the feeling of the film because she did try and she did eventually succeed in doing what she wanted to do, even though everybody else was telling her that was stupid and rabbits don't do that.

And she did fuck up a few times, but, you know, she still went ahead and did it.

And I agree, that's a very positive character in that film.

Like I said, this is the first Disney cartoon I've watched in years that didn't make me want to give myself a Colombian necktie.

But yeah, we really rated these films, but I'll start with Pleasantville.

What would you rate the film on to 10.

I will give Pleasantville a solid 6.

I just think it's too thin.

I think it goes everywhere and tries to pull everything into one single issue, and you can't do that.

Life's too complex for that.

I'm right there with you with a 6.

It's better than Middle of the Road, but I think what saves it is not the message, because the message is really warped in that film.

That's the main problem with the film, in my opinion, is the actors, the caliber of actors in the film.

You're William H.

Macy, you're Jeff Daniels, and you're Joe and Alan, you have people like that who are really great in the film, and they really take it someplace else.

Yeah, Pleasantville is a 6 for me as well.

Zootopia, what do you think about that one, sir?

You know what?

I can't even fucking believe I'm saying this.

Zootopia gets an 8.

Yeah, it's fun.

It's fun.

I think I'd give it an 8 as well.

I mean, I've seen it in theaters.

I've seen it twice.

And I had fun.

I had fun watching it.

But I'm amongst all the subtexts, but you know, the subtext is there.

But I think that instead of, you know, saying let's turn on Zootopia for the kids, and say let's let it be their babysitter, I think it should be watched as a family.

And you should explain to little Johnny, little Susie maybe, you know, the stuff that's out there in the world today, you know, especially that fucking mess they got going on in the UK, where, you know, I'm thinking about little Rosemary, our friend and colleague Misty, their daughter, as strong as she can in school.

You know, people are picking on her, they're bullying her, you know, because of the fact that she's, her mother is a Texan, and her father is from Britain and other stuff too, but she's, she don't want to help her parents, and I've got to really respect the independence of that little girl.

And much love, Rosemary.

The beefers love you, you know.

But yeah, it's a really wonky world we live in, and I try to stay as positive as I can without blowing my top, because a lot of these public formats now, and these Facebooks and these Twitters, people let their opinions know, even about the dumbest things, like racially shaming Leslie Jones on Twitter, who's...

What?

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Seriously, I know you're not listening to my show, because I'm not a hate monger, but you made the woman quit Twitter, because you guys are racially shaming her about being the black ghost buster in the film.

And nobody ever did that to her.

Even because she's a female, and she's black, and she was a bit token in that film, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't warrant you badgering a person who's Leslie Jones and not that character in the film, you know, trying to shave her.

I'm sure she's being very strong about all this, but still, people are assholes in this world, especially with the social media format we got going on.

You know?

Oh, it's just so easy to say whatever you want to and hide behind a screen name, you know?

We can all be Jay and Sal and Bob and get a ton of money and go kick all the people's asses that talk shit about us.

Did you say they are, quote, fucking clown shoes?

Yeah, yeah, I did.

I love that shit, man.

But, yeah, with that, we'll move on to some more of the wonderful messages you guys sent us.

See you guys soon.

Oh, some great messages from Boss Butcher, Moporn and Bo Ransdell.

Enjoy.

Hello, Gary.

Boss Butcher here from Terror Troop Podcast and Found Footage Files Podcast.

Three years of Cinema Beef, man.

Time flies.

I know all too well.

Next thing you know, you're hundreds of episodes deep in shows you've recorded, and you've had a lot of good times and made some good friends, and I'm glad to count you among my friends, Gary, and glad to have you aboard the Terror Troop from time to time as well.

Just keep on rocking the shows.

You are, I mean, seemingly tireless guy, cranking out shows, and I know you have a lot of fun with it, and you have that sense of community that you have, and you have a good time.

Always a very supportive person.

Appreciate you and wish you all the best in the future with all your future endeavors, podcasting or whatever you decide to do.

I'm going to go through your list here to celebrate the third anniversary of Cinema Beef.

First thing you wanted was three greatest film beefs.

This will be the toughest one for me because I don't know, I guess I'm looking at things I bitch about about movies.

The biggest thing for me is comedies in general.

I mean 99% of comedy movies I do not find funny at all.

So I really hate just recycled shitty fucking comedies.

I can't stand them.

I never have been a...

I like a lot of comedy movies, but I don't know, that's just one that, I mean, almost all of them are worthless to me, don't have any use for them at all.

Also, hate about when they hype some big Hollywood movie and say it's the scariest movie in years.

It's the greatest horror movie in years.

And yeah, it's scary to people who watch one horror movie every four years or something like that.

I guess that's great.

But I think they should just quit doing that, claiming to be the scariest movie ever.

It's very subjective, very, very rarely, are you going to just scare the shit out of all kinds of people and have that title mentioned in the same breath as your film.

I mean, there's been a lot of scary movies over the years, and even some of the ones that horror fans in general think are the scariest film ever, I personally do not find them scary, and many others do not either.

Just the way it is.

It's just lame-o when they use that as a hype.

Another thing I can't stand is, and I'm getting this way, I hate to be this way, and I know a lot of people who just can't get enough of these superhero movies.

I fucking had enough of them.

I mean, I'm waiting for Doctor Strange.

We'll see how it turns out.

But I haven't even watched, like, I don't even know the last five, six superhero movies.

They coaxed me out to watch The Guardians of the Galaxy.

That was a nice movie.

That was a lot of fun.

I enjoyed that.

But most of them I just, I don't have any use for them.

I'm tired of them.

Do something different.

So I guess that's my three cinema beefs that I have.

My greatest film, Rage Quit.

That one I can name easily.

It's the only movie that I have ever walked out of.

A film from 1990 when I was a young man.

Out with my girlfriend.

And we went to watch Joe vs.

the Volcano starring Tom Hanks.

Fucking hated that movie.

Left, I don't even remember.

To this day, I don't even remember what the movie's even about.

It probably isn't as bad as I think it is in my mind.

But that's the only movie I've ever walked out of.

Although, I would have walked out of Lords of Salem, but I was covering it for the podcast, so I stayed.

That was one of the shittiest movies I've ever seen.

Big disappointment.

And I've seen some shitty movies, as you well know.

As far as a film that shaped the way I've watched films today, there's several on it.

But we'll start off with, as far as my podcasting goes, as far as Terror Troop especially, watching a lot of the bad movies we watched there, a film called Spawn of the Slithers from 1978, helped me to realize that movies can be complete garbage and still be entertaining.

I still like the movie.

It's from 1978.

I saw it at the drive-in as a kid and was very disappointed, even though years later I've come to love this movie.

I think that's one of them, though.

I love the B movies, the monsters, the crappy suits that they made, horrible acting, whatever.

I just fell in love with it because of movies like this.

There's probably other ones that could have caused that.

And I'm sorry to make this a lengthy response, but the other one would have been The Matrix.

I loved The Matrix.

It really blew my mind when it came out.

Of course, now it's not as amazing as it used to be, I suppose, but that one was really awesome.

And the other one I would mention would be Blue Velvet by David Lynch.

Just really amazing film, and I've always looked at films a little differently ever since I saw that and to some extent Wild at Heart as well.

But anyway, there's that.

And I just want to once again wish you the best, Gary.

I hope you're having a great time celebrating your third anniversary of Cinema Beef, man.

Thanks for being a friend, man.

Take care, bye bye.

Bye.

Howdy folks, Mo here from the No Budget Nightmares Podcast.

Without my more talkative co-host, Doug underscore Tilly, that's T-I-L-L-E-Y, he's probably off writing the sequel to Rock Paper Scissors, Fall of the Original Six, part two, Electric Boogaloo, perhaps.

Anyway, Gary asked me to record a little something about beefs that I have with cinema, movie series that I don't like, or ideas in film that I don't particularly care for.

So I got a couple of those.

He also asked to talk about rage quitting movies and also films that have shaped me.

So let's get right into it.

I don't wanna waste your time, I don't wanna waste his time.

I will waste Doug's time all I fucking want.

Anyway, let's get right into it.

All right, first off is a film series started in the 90s that I originally felt was just a really bad knockoff of the good 80s teen sex romps that had ended a few years previous.

I think the last good quote unquote 80s teen sex romp actually came out in like 93.

And that is the American Pie films.

They are fucking terrible.

I know there are people out there who enjoy them.

I never have, I never understood the appeal.

I just felt that they were like mean spirited or at the very least not funny, which is equally as bad in my book.

I felt that whereas with the 80s teen sex romps, they tended to come from a place of innocence.

And I just felt that these ones were just mean.

I think I may have just said that already, but I don't care, I'm repeating it.

These ones are, they're not the same.

It's, they're attempting to cash in on the idea of showing boobs for boobs sake.

But, you know, just guys being fun and being guys and not like, you know, it's not like, oh, well, you know, we're gonna send this live video feed out to the entire school so everybody can watch, you know, this woman masturbating, you know, or this guy getting caught fucking a pie or whatever.

I just, it never appealed to me.

It actually put a huge stigma on Sean William Scott for me for a long time.

I refused to watch any movies he was in because I hated the Stifler character so much.

And now, because I've gotten over that and realized he's not a bad actor, that's just a bad character.

I actually am, I wouldn't say a huge fan, but I am a fan of his work.

He's definitely had, you know, at least a couple of good movies.

Anyway, moving on to a more recent series, that is The Hangover Films, again, I watched the first one.

I didn't understand the appeal.

I was super excited because the cast is phenomenal, but man, what a fucking letdown.

They're just not funny at all.

It's just like, I just don't get it.

It's just not my kind of comedy, I guess.

Anyway, I did watch the racist sequel that I also did not enjoy and avoided the third one at all cost because it looked even worse somehow.

Anyway, yeah, okay.

Let's move on to the big one now.

This is a filmmaker who I have an issue with more so than anything else, and that is Joe fucking Castro.

I'm not sure if fucking is actually his middle name or if I just stuck that in there, but anyway, Joe Castro.

Yeah, he's a real piece of shit.

I don't know if that's considered libel or not.

I don't care, because it's really it's fact.

You know, anybody who listens to the No Budget Nightmares podcast, which I'm sure none of you do, and that's fine.

That's fine.

I will give you information on how to do that later in this.

Episode nine, we dealt specifically with his film of Terror Tunes.

Well, he found that because I'm fairly certain he has a Google Alerts for his own name.

And no, that's kidding.

We know exactly how he found it.

It's all entirely Doug's fault.

And he will cop to that as well.

It is entirely Doug's fault.

And so he listened to our episode.

And even though our review of the film was actually much kinder than it probably should have been and very even and very fair, we actually did compliment the film a few times.

Even though I did open by saying that it was a piece of shit.

Guess what?

It is a piece of shit.

Things escalated and ultimately finished off with my face being Photoshopped onto gay porn.

So if you want to hear that entire story, listen to, you can listen to episode nine, which is Terror Toons, and then listen to episode 30, our 30th episode Spectacular.

Either why we did it for episode 30, who knows, but whatever.

And that's the only time we actually go into any like huge details about what happened.

And it's the only time we ever will because frankly, after that happened, we were just done with the whole thing.

We don't ever want to, we'll never review another film of his.

We'll never even fucking consider it.

It's just not going to happen ever.

So yeah, so Joe Castro.

Real quick story about Joe Castro, not to go back to it, but when all of this shit happened, I actually got invited to a storytellers event called Get To The Point that happens in the city that I live in here.

And so I actually wrote out the entire story of what happened with Terror Toons and with Joe Castro and got up in front of a live audience and told the story to everybody.

And then at the end, I brought my laptop up with me and at the end, I flashed a picture of what he had made.

And yeah, it was a bit shocking, but it got a laugh.

So I was happy with that.

Anyway, bonus for Beefs.

And that is less with the film itself and more with the people who don't like this movie.

And that is people who dislike Punisher Warzone.

We have an issue because Punisher Warzone is a near perfect comic book movie.

It's fun.

It's action packed.

It's over the top ridiculous.

The villain is a comic book villain.

And might I add an actual villain of Punisher's.

Now you can go on and on and on about whether or not it's a accurate portrayal of Frank Castle or not.

I think that Ray Stevenson did a fantastic job.

And to date, even with Daredevil season two, I still say that Punisher Warzone is the best portrayal of Frank Castle in a film ever.

The end.

All right, moving on to rage quitting films.

This is going to be a much shorter section than the last one because I don't rage quit films.

I think my pedigree and my history of watching No Budget Nightmares for the podcast gives you an idea that I generally can sit through most things.

There is one notable exception.

There's one movie that I've ever shut off and it had nothing to do with it angering me more so that I just couldn't handle the subject matter.

One of my specialties has always been disturbing films.

In fact, I did a whole year once where every week I watched a different disturbing film and even though there's only 52 weeks in the year, I ended up watching something like 67 and it broadened my horizon and of that entire year, there was only one movie I couldn't watch and that was The Men Behind the Sun.

So if you're looking to expand your horizon of truly disturbing films, and not just disturbing because there's all sorts of violence and shit, it's like the whole subject matter is just truly disturbing.

Great movie up until the point where I couldn't watch anymore, but it just it put me over that edge and I'm like, I can't do this anymore.

I can't finish this.

So no rage quitting as such, but I did shut off Men Behind the Sun.

And lastly, talking about the films that have shaped me as a film viewer.

Here's the thing.

I got into film, I am not filmmaking, although I did eventually, I did, I got into film viewing into my film obsession a little later than I think a lot of cinephiles do.

I didn't really start going crazy with it until I was about 18, but I went nuts when I did.

I got, I was lucky enough to have a video store locally that had just an extensive like weird movie section.

It had an entire section on something weird videos, which is where my something weird obsession started.

It had a whole wall of cult films and just, I mean, it was all killer stuff, just really, really fantastic.

It's the first place I saw street trash.

It's the first place I saw dark backwards, you know, eraser head, you know, the classics.

Anyway, so I would say films that shaped me as a film viewer, there was a two tape set of the films of Richard Kern.

You may remember them if you were into his films.

They're called Hardcore.

It's Hardcore Volume One, Hardcore Volume Two.

I always loved the very punk rock aesthetic of these movies.

And I like, and of course, them having Lydia lunch in them helped a lot.

But yeah, it's, I always felt like, I always felt like, you know, like it's the sort of movies that like just anybody could go out and just make.

I mean, granted, you probably wouldn't include the rape, but hey, it's what he did.

You know, he had his thing.

So I found the DIY aesthetic very appealing to me as a filmmaker and as a punk rocker at the time.

Then I also developed a huge affinity for animated films.

And so like that's where I discovered the films of Haruo Miyazaki, like the studio, I don't know if you pronounce it Ghibli or Ghibli, however, it's just another GIF, GIF sort of argument.

But anyway, the Miyazaki film catalog, I became a huge fan of his work and also a slightly obscure, just completely bat shit crazy stop motion animator named Dionne Svankmajer, who I just adore.

I fucking absolutely love his work.

It's insane, it's unique, it's original, you know?

And I mean, now granted his two biggest movies are A Retelling of Faust and A Retelling of Alice in Wonderland, but still, they're very original.

They're unique, they're great.

I love them.

So I would say those, I would say as far as my kitch or camp, I really love the films of John Waters.

I've always kind of been a fan of his because before I really got obsessed with films, like I had already seen like all of his, what I call his family friendly era, you know, Hairspray, Crybaby, you know, Serial Mom, that sort of stuff and beyond.

But yeah, so big, big John Waters fan, still am to this day.

I will always love John Waters.

He is one of the best.

He's in my top five easily for directors.

Also the films of Terry Gilliam, who is just a fucking mad genius.

Like Brazil to this day is still one of my favorite movies ever.

Yeah, and like weird, like crazy action filmmakers.

Like I love Paul Verhoeven, like Total Recall and Robocop, two of my favorite movies of all time.

And last but not least, we'll move on to the more cerebral, although he still does fantastic action, the films of Akira Kurosawa.

To date, I would say that Seven Samurai is probably my, well not probably, it is.

It's my, Seven Samurai is my favorite movie of all time.

It's been my favorite movie of all time since the first time I saw it in 1998 when I rented it.

And I've been in love with it forever.

I also, before becoming a big film fan, I was a big Shakespeare guy.

I really love, and I still do love Shakespeare.

And so finding out that this filmmaker who I was already kind of in love with had taken and turned a lot of Shakespeare plays into these weird, feudal Japan samurai movies.

It was just like, holy shit, this is, he was making these for me.

And so that became a big influence on me as well, as far as the more serious movies that I watch.

But yeah, so as you can tell, I'm pretty all over the place.

That's it, that's my entire list.

I really hope that this isn't too long for you, Gary.

If it is, I apologize, but I'm not cutting any of this out.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up.

You can check out No Budget Nightmares on Facebook, www.facebook.com/NoBudgetNightmares

You can also check out our entire archive of episodes at nobudgetpodcast.com.

Anyway, I'm gonna send it back over to you, Gary, and congratulations on three years.

Anyway, back to you.

Hey, Gary and the gang, happy third anniversary.

I couldn't be happier to contribute at least a little bit to such a monumentous occasion.

Gary, as always, you're doing the Lord's works, or the way you carried the banner for Legion Podcasts.

It does my heart good.

So at your request, here are my three Cinema Beefs.

One is Untold Stories.

I'm tired of Untold Stories.

In the Heart of the Sea, and Victor Frankenstein, and Dracula Untold.

I don't need any of that stuff.

They're all terrible.

I don't need to know what happened before the thing I like happened.

So knock that off.

Secondly, action movies.

Where have they gone?

I'm talking about the middle tier, you know, the Golden Globus, the canon films.

You know, Ninja II recently did it really well, but I wish there were more of those kind of middle tier, not quite bottom of the barrel action movies, but just enough money pumped into them to see some good destruction with a little bit of charm and kind of cheapo nostalgia.

I wish there were more of that stuff.

My third cinema beef is cell phones, particularly cell phones being out of range.

It's lazy.

It's lazy screenwriting.

Stop it.

I think that there are plenty of ways that you can handle cell phones in modern movies, especially like horror movies and thrillers.

Hush, recently, the Mike Flanagan movie did that really well of making cell phones a thing, but also taking them out of the equation in a good way.

So yeah, stop that.

Just walking around with your cell phone out, like pointing at the sky, trying to get a bar.

I'm tired of seeing that in movies, knock it off.

Rage Quits was something that you had mentioned.

When have I rage quitted a movie?

I try to be a completist.

I try to watch any movie that I start.

I don't think I've ever walked out on a movie, although in retrospect, there are some I should have.

I would say the only time I've recently done that was actually with Man of Steel.

You know, chalk this up to Grandpa Bo not being with it, but I thought Man of Steel was a terrible interpretation of Superman and I didn't finish it.

I just wasn't the Superman I wanted to see on screen.

So, yeah, kind of a bummer.

And as far as something that changed the way that I view movies from when I was a kid, you know, I'm gonna say it was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the Gene Wilder version, of course.

I saw that as a kid and it was this weird combination of being very silly and at times really dark.

And I really responded to the weirder, weirder, darker elements of that movie.

And I think it didn't necessarily lead me to horror.

I'd seen some horror movies by that time and I was already into it, but it also gave me an appreciation for being able to be kind of dark and macabre, you know, in just random run-of-the-mill movies.

And I always liked that.

So yeah, anyway, I hope that was somewhat interesting.

And again, happy third anniversary.

Take your victory lap.

You certainly deserve it.

And I look forward to more shows from you guys very soon.

I enjoy those quite a bit.

So congratulations, guys.

And we'll talk to you soon.

My name is Martin.

I'm 84 years old.

People think I'm crazy when I tell them how old I am.

I'd like to be normal.

I just have a sickness.

The only way I can survive is by drinking blood.

Thank you It's not easy living the way I do.

I have to be careful all the time.

But I'm pretty good at it.

I think as I get older, I get better.

I haven't been caught yet.

Martin, Another Kind of Terror.

You see, people don't understand what's wrong.

They think that I'm a monster.

They think I'm a vampire.

People don't realize that those things I see in the movies are not real.

I don't have a whole lot of women.

It's nice to watch them.

I watch them a lot all the time.

I have to, to be sure that nothing goes wrong.

I follow them.

I'm very careful.

I have needles now.

I can use them.

I can put them to sleep.

And it doesn't hurt.

Martin, Another Kind of Terror.

I would like to be like everyone else.

I have to do things that I don't necessarily like to do.

I want to stay alive.

I do need blood.

From the Director of Night of the Living Dead, Marzo.

How you doing, Jamie?

I am doing well, and I'm excited to be here.

Great, I'm glad to.

I love being around rotted meat.

Rotted meat, huh?

And also with us is Brian M.

Sammons.

I'm doing good, thanks for having me.

Oh, for sure.

To that we're going to talk about a movie, which I call a Redemption movie on this list, because I saw it when I was like 13.

I didn't care for it all that much because it wasn't Dawn of the Dead, but we're talking about Martin today.

It stars a young John Amplas who was in the Romero camp for a long time to play in Will Bittparts, and of course the zombie Nathan in Creepshow.

But this is a story about a man who may or may not be a vampire.

I think he's more of a sociopath, if you ask me, who enjoys to cut open people and drink their blood.

And then he comes to, with his crazy cousin, he comes to meet his crazy cousin who thinks that he's not sporadic and he must be put to death because there's a curse on the family and all hell breaks loose as he's brought to this Pittsburgh neighborhood.

And apparently his cousin is Colonel Sanders.

Yes, yes, indeed.

That was Brian's joke, I have to...

Oh, it needed to be addressed.

That white suit, more like the chunky Colonel Sanders from The Waterboy, though.

The chunky.

He's been eating too much of that special, what is it?

13 herbs and spices or whatever.

That original recipe is what I was trying to say.

Yes, indeed.

I guess we'll deter to Brian.

Brian, what was the first time you saw Martin?

What do you think about it, sir?

Martin.

Oh, I always liked this movie.

I've seen it, God, years ago.

And like you, when I first saw it, I was like, eh, it's okay.

Where's the fangs?

Where's all the cool vampire powers?

Where's all the blood and gore?

And there is some blood in here, but this movie isn't about that.

It has a really good central idea on what could be madness, how it's led up to that point.

And yet Romero, he does these little things in there where he plays with the idea of, well, maybe it's what it looks like.

Martin is a young kid who comes from like an old world family, obviously of Eastern European descent, although I don't think they get very specific.

In his whole life, he's been told he's Nosferatu.

There's supposedly some curse, some ages old, multi-generational curse that every once in a while, somebody is born a Nosferatu or a vampire.

And they're not the traditional vampires.

They can go out in the sun.

They can eat other food.

It just so happens that they have to kill people and drink their blood, or so this crazy family believes.

And for whatever the reason, Martin now goes to live with what at first I assumed was his grandfather, because the man is decades older than him.

Yet it turns out that he's his cousin.

And I'm like, well, how the hell does that happen?

Then in the movie, they relate something like the crazy cousin, the old man, says, oh, Martin is much older than he appears to be.

He was born in like 1909 or something like that.

And then you think, oh, well, obviously, grandpa cousin is off his nut.

But then even Martin is like, oh, I'm so old.

I'm 84 years old or 89 years old or something.

And then you're like, OK, well, obviously, they've been telling this poor kid these crazy stories all his life that he now believes them.

But there is something in a memory that Martin has.

He's running around some old world type place complete with villagers chasing him with torches and people driving around in like Model T's or, you know, at least whatever they'd be driving, like, let's say the 20s or 30s.

And you don't know if that's just Martin's fantasy, because another thing I like about this, Martin always has these idealized fantasies of when he's on the hunt.

The first time we see the character is on a train.

It's a Pittsburgh bound train.

And it's set in the modern day, or at least the modern day of 1976, I want to say.

And he sees a pretty lady.

So he has it all in his head.

How is it going to go down?

He's going to open her sleeping car.

She's going to be there lying in bed, surrounded by candlelight, drinking wine, in a negligee.

And she's going to see him and she's going to beckon him with his arms and they're going to embrace him.

When he goes in there to finally do what he's going to do, it is totally different.

And I always like that where, in his head, he thinks it's going to be one way and it's all romantic.

And it's typical vampire porn, where the women are all sensual and they're beautiful and they want this.

And in reality, it's almost always 100% different.

Well, he tries to make a plan and then his plan gets foiled because she's in the crapper, putting her face on.

What do I do now?

Later, he picks out this other woman to follow.

And because Martin don't have any fangs or hypnotic powers, he's got to use razor blades and syringes full of some of the slowest acting sedative I've ever seen.

Yep, Sony makes a big chem lab, I guess.

Yeah, and even that I kind of like, because usually movie drugs, you jab somebody for needle and they're out in like one second later.

So I'm glad it's not like that.

But it's also, I mean, he hits this girl with a whole shot full of knockout drugs and for like 10 minutes of rolling around on the ground, fighting, and she's like, why are you doing this?

Are you a rapist?

What'd you give me?

And just, it goes on almost to a comedic level.

And then eventually she falls asleep and he does the vampire bit, which in Martin's case is because he's so messed up, he can only get with a woman if he knocks her out and then he wants to drink her blood.

Yeah.

And that's how the character begins.

Now the movie, I think it's a really good movie because it's a different take on a vampire film.

And I'm always down for that.

And it's well shot and pretty much well acted.

And we get to see Martin grow as a character.

He is a painfully shy kid, maybe an 80 year old kid who knows when this begins.

And then as the movie goes on, he becomes more and more of a real person.

You know, he actually has a relationship, but all the while he has this vampiric need.

Yeah.

I think the film to me is kind of one of those weird things where it's almost like killing and like knocking girls out is almost like his masturbation, because till he finally gets some real loving, he sees...

Yeah, the sexy stuff.

Yeah, he's rethinking his life and the situation.

Maybe I shouldn't be knocking these girls out and drinking their blood when there's real stuff like relationships I could be involved in.

And this is just what I need to get up off of that kick, you know, that high of drinking the blood of the innocent.

You know, but for the not so innocent in the case of the cheating couple.

But he still does it.

He still does.

Yes, relationship.

You know, he knocks off the two bums in the alley.

And that leads me to another point.

He keeps going on and on with his cousin about, look, there's no magic.

You're just crazy that, you know, there is no supernatural.

And he says a line in here and he only says it once because I was waiting for them to elaborate on it, but they never do.

And he's like, it's just a sickness.

It's just a disease.

And I wonder, is he speaking just purely of a mental disorder or could there be some physiological desire?

I mean, could he be like anemic, like extremely anemic where, you know, there's theories that vampire lore and legends began because people with severe cases of anemia had to be replaced at a low oxygen count, and how did you do that in Ye Olde and Days Well?

You get it from some of the cells.

And there's a couple of things like that that are just sprinkled throughout.

And maybe it's wise on Romero for not indulging too much into it, leaving the mystery up for you.

Or maybe he was just sloppy and just didn't get around to it.

I don't know.

The overall effect, though, is it is a good movie.

I do like it.

I just think it's a tad bit long.

Now, it's only 90 minutes, but there is a bit of repetition in it where Martin kind of does the same thing over and over.

There's no reason to see it multiple times.

The character doesn't change.

He does change, but not because of these, you know, seasons.

So if you've seen him stalk and kill one person, you've seen him stalk and kill, you know, a hundred people.

Yes, indeed.

I agree.

I mean, it just, it gets a little bit too long, but not, not horribly so.

And the ending, pardon me, is both really good and also like shockingly abrupt.

Oh, it is.

Cause it just kind of happens.

Yeah.

And pardon me again.

I don't mind a good shocking ending, but this almost seemed like la da da da da.

The end.

Yep.

Credits.

Wow.

That's it.

That's just it.

That's how you want to end it.

I did like the way it ended though, because the way that they filtered in the radio stuff, because for some reason, Martin was a radio god, he was the count on the radio, and people like to hear him talk about doing his vampire stuff and all that stuff, and you know, cousin doing what he was doing.

At the end, I don't want to give it away if you haven't seen Martin.

And I do like the irony there at the end where something happens because he actually didn't do what somebody thought he did.

It's like the one time he didn't do it is the time he gets punished.

Jamie?

Again, I just thought it was a need to, not even tonally abrupt, just like, end.

Yep, for sure.

But I mean, overall, I really dug it.

Jamie.

Well, this was, this is actually only this time I've ever seen this film.

And the first time I watched it, I'm not sure exactly how old I was, but I know I was still living at home.

So I was a teenager.

And I didn't care for it very much.

I liked the idea behind it.

That was, you know, a sort of a modern vampire tale with, with all of the lore attached to it.

And it was just basically a regular goth by all appearances.

I liked that aspect of it, but I felt like it was a little boring and draggy.

And I remembered that about it all these years.

And I had kept meaning to watch it again, but I just never got back around to it.

And I just always remembered.

I liked the idea, but I felt like the execution was a little boring.

So when we watched it for this, which I was really excited to finally know, I realized that apparently I was too young to appreciate it at the time, or maybe I wasn't in the right frame of mind.

I don't know.

But I definitely appreciated it much more now.

I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I love the, his character, because while he is in every sense of the word a villain, and that, you know, he lead the trail of bloodless victims wherever he goes, he's also very tragic.

And I find myself feeling a lot of sympathy for him, which is, you know, what supposed to happen.

But I think it's a good sort of allegory for, you know, awkward teen angst, you know, and just not knowing where you fit in with the world and people telling you this is how, this is how you are, and this is how you should be.

And you know, because you've got his cousin, you know, Colonel Sanders' cousin, basically telling, like filling his head with all of these, with all of this family history, which seems quite believable at times.

And even though the magic parts of it and, you know, the garlic and the crucifixes and all of that, they clearly don't work like the cousin would have you believe that they should.

So that part is clearly not true.

But then he does have sort of like the flashback memories that kind of lead you to believe, well, maybe he is actually 84, like he says he is.

And then you have, you know, the brief glimpse of the, like, say, for instance, the old woman that comes into the shop that his cousin owns and she's like, you're lazy and we work hard around here, you know, and just like a way the way a lot of older people view teenagers and regardless of the generation, that's always seeming to be the way it is.

Oh, that's a look at him now.

But so you've got, you know, on one hand, people telling you this is how you are.

This is how you, this is what's wrong with you and this is how you need to improve yourself.

And then you have the teenager himself who is suffering through all this and doesn't really know what to do with himself.

So I think you could kind of look at this as an allegory of respect if you wanted to look that far into it and knowing Romero and how he does love to have his social commentary, you know, it doesn't really seem that far off the mark to me.

But then you can also just look at it for exactly what they're showing you on screen.

And I still think it's just as tragic and has just as much depth.

And I still feel just as sorry for him because he doesn't know.

I mean, he's clearly stumbling through life.

He has had no meaningful romantic relationships.

He doesn't know how to do it.

The only time he can feel close to a woman is when he has knocked her on conscious and is draining her blood and he says this numerous times, you know, he's never had the sexy stuff.

He doesn't know how to do it.

And he finally does sort of develop a relationship, even though it's not a very conventional relationship because she is a married woman, but she is an unhappily married woman and she has her own issues.

So it's not a conventional relationship for a teenage boy.

I remarked about Summer of 42, we were watching this.

It does finally get a connection.

But meanwhile, we're surrounded throughout the thing, other dysfunctional relationships.

You have his younger cousin who is dating a mustache-less Tom Sabini who is kind of an asshole.

And she feels very poorly throughout that entire relationship, and then she ends up running off with him, knowing that she's not going to be happy with him, but she runs off with him just to get away from her grandfather, who is the Colonel Sanders' cousin.

And then you have Peppered throughout the different interactions that he has with other married couples, where they're either cheating on each other, or they're both cheating, or one of them is cheating.

No one seems to have a good relationship in this film.

And I think that that is very meaningful here.

I don't really feel like it ran too long.

I was never unhappy with the pace that it was taking, or with what was happening, or how long it was taking to happen.

I do, however, agree that the ending was extremely abrupt.

It was like a slap across the face.

It had a very leisurely pace, and then all of a sudden, the end!

But I like how it ended.

I mean, I like what happened.

I just feel like it snuck up on you.

And as far as the, as when Brian mentioned earlier, that you weren't really sure if maybe Romero was being lazy as far as not explaining things or whatever.

I think that he did, or he explained as little as he did on purpose, because, I mean, Martin makes the statement that, you know, he stutters and they don't know what's wrong with him.

No one seems to know what's wrong with him.

So it only makes sense that we wouldn't know what was wrong with him, you know, kind of like an it follows thing.

You, I don't feel like we should know any more than the characters themselves are capable of knowing.

So I don't see anything wrong with that in this instance.

If he doesn't know, then why should we?

And I would give him the benefit of a doubt.

Yeah, I think he's smarter than that.

And I think he's more careful.

Now, this was earlier in his career, but I do think he's a more careful story teller.

I think he just kind of left it ambiguous.

Or, you know, I mean, because maybe he didn't have a good reason.

Then he probably figured, well, you know, why do we need one?

We don't.

So, you know, I'm happy with that.

You know, it's because what's really important here, Martin and how he deals with it.

I mean, overall, I, I thoroughly enjoy this film.

I think it's very good.

And it's a shame that it doesn't get a little more variety that he and I absolutely love Romero's on films.

Everyone who has ever heard me say anything about them knows that.

Dawn of the Dead is one of my top films, period, of any genre.

So I also love Day of the Dead, which to this day scares the shit right out of me.

But I feel like this film is just as strong, but it's been overshadowed by what he has become more popular for.

But I do feel like there's a lot of there's a lot of good filmmaking here.

There's a lot of good choices, and it's very intellectual.

If you haven't seen it, then I have to recommend it.

I really feel like you need to watch Martin.

You need to see this other side of Romero, especially if you're only familiar with his dead films.

Of course, he also did Crazies, which I think is very good, although suffered from a low budget.

But he does have other sides to him apart from the zombie films.

And if you haven't ever seen any of those, then I recommend that you do.

But yeah, feel free to skip There's Always Vanilla because that's not good.

He doesn't even like that movie.

Anyway, so yeah, there's that.

I love it.

You know, Martin, it was a much better experience than when I was 13, I will say that.

Because if you were 13, watching the movie can be pretty bored too, I'd say.

But with adult, you open them up a little more and start to notice like all the stuff you guys said about the social commentary and, you know, is he a vampire, is he a vampire?

At 13, I'm looking for if he's a vampire, why is he cutting these people open, and treating them below, but he could easily have his fangs out, you know.

Because that's the way it was pushed to you is this Romero film about a vampire.

There's still much more to it than that.

So if you're looking for that, I'd say, you know, look beyond the surface, because that's just scratching the surface of what this movie really is about.

I like John Amplas' part.

This is his one big starving role, but he is immersed in the Romero universe, playing other roles.

I think he plays the perfect timid guy who, you know, seems like a real lonely guy that you want to talk to.

Poor Martin, poor Martin.

But you can just tell that his uncle wasn't talking shit about him all over, or his cousin, I mean, but talking shit about him all over town.

Sandy, he plays that classic bad seed.

Like, you know, in a way, that's the way it works, too.

Like, you got that uncle who's estranged, and he's the black sheep of the family.

Well, Martin's the black sheep.

He's one of the three of the black sheep of this family, apparently, because there's three like him, apparently.

And if they play that really well, especially with the cousin, just demeaning him and all that stuff.

And I love that Christine Forrest, little Christine Forrest Romero now, has more to do in this movie than any other movie, really, because I really enjoyed that character, her being the most endearing person to Martin, I guess.

I did, too.

I liked her quite a bit, actually.

I wasn't really sure about her at first, or like how she was going to react to him, because, you know, his uncle, or uncle, his cousin had instructed him not to talk to her.

So he was being really awkward, and attempting not to really engage in conversation with her.

So I wasn't really sure how that relationship was going to go, but I like her character.

I like everything about her character.

They had that weird thing, like towards the end, where she was going to leave with, uh, with mustacheless Tom Savini.

I don't know his name.

He's just mustacheless Tom Savini in this movie.

He had one, but I don't remember what it was.

Yes, indeed.

And he almost felt like he wanted to get with her in a way, because she's the only one they would give a time, the time of day, really.

But she was like his cousin, so that's kind of strange.

There was that, there was that really bizarre remark made by one of the women in the store who was like a young man in the home with your granddaughter.

I don't care if they're related or not.

That's not right.

And I'm like, what the hell kind of family do you live in, lady?

You know, I mean, I think, you know, they should be able to train themselves.

And hell, I'm from the south.

But people be talking.

Colonel Sanders said, you know, our family knows how to behave.

I like the radio stuff for some reason.

It's a real small thing in this movie, but he almost becomes like an urban legend over the radio.

I like that tip and how it continues.

Even after the end of the film, you hear people calling in, going, my friend says he's, you know, I think my friend is the cat.

Well, clearly he's not.

You know, he has become this character completely separate.

And this radio character now lives on its own, basically.

And, you know, I kind of like that.

The kills were kind of cool.

You saw that orange-ish red blood, that Romero blood that I love so much, you know.

True.

I think he played his role pretty well.

You had your title character, Martin, you know.

Like I said, I didn't like it so much when I was younger, but I can see more now.

When he finally got some of the sexy stuff, all the stuff before, it almost seemed like sexual release, like not masturbation, but not like masturbation, you know.

Because once he started getting some of the sexy stuff, he didn't think about it as much, but he still had it on the brain.

It's kind of hard to kick that habit, I guess, to go out and kill people and drink the blood once you keep doing it, I guess.

I've had that experience myself, you know, but so in a way, I think Martin's more of a sociopath than a vampire because he's got that mentality that he needs to do this, and the only way he can live truly is to do this.

Of course, his uncle knows he's up to, I keep saying his uncle, he's so old.

His cousin knows he's up to something.

I know, I do it too.

His cousin knows he's up to something because he's always suspectful of him, even at the time where Martin dons a cape and makeup and fake teeth to spook him, I guess.

Finally, the vampire, Nosferatu has come out, that kind of deal, and he's just fucking with him for whatever reason, he's just fucking with him.

Oh, God, there's so much to like about this film.

Oh, George Romero cameo.

Brian actually is the one who nailed that one.

He plays the priest, and he doesn't have his beard, which threw me off, and Brian was like, cameo!

I was like, where?

And he's like, George Romero!

And I was like, oh, shit!

And then I started watching him, and you can definitely recognize him through his affectations, and the way he gestures and the way he talks.

It clearly was him, but it completely threw me off at first.

Was he talking with his hands a lot?

Yes.

Because Romero talked to his hands a lot.

At one point he was sitting in a chair, and he had a cigarette in his hand.

And that right there, and the way he was holding that cigarette, it was all very Romero.

But it's just that he was so young, and I was looking for Dawn of the Dead Romero, like the beginning of Dawn of the Dead, how he looks in the TV studio.

With Christine, yes.

That's what I was looking for.

And it's just a couple years before that, but the beard makes all the difference.

Yes, indeed.

All in all, you guys said a lot about the film, and all that rings true with me too.

You can analyze this, you can psychoanalyze it any way you want to.

It's not your traditional vampire film, but I like it more at 34 than I did when I was 14.

So there you go, people.

It takes time to grow on you.

If you want to dive in, there's a pretty good-looking copy on YouTube to watch.

That's where I watched it at.

So go check it out.

You got nothing to lose.

We watched the Arrow release of it, which was really nice.

That was a beautiful, beautiful copy.

Great.

I guess we'll shoot in the ratings now, 1 through 10.

Brian, what do you give it, sir?

1 through 10, I'm going to give it 8.

Solidly, solidly good.

Great.

Jamie?

I'm going to have to mirror that.

With the 888?

Be myself, at 14, it would have been like a 4, but now it's like a 7.5, so it showed up there pretty good to me, so close to an 8, but not quite an 8, you know.

But yeah, I will give it all 8, so I'm great on a curve, I guess you want to call it, but I'm at a 7.5.

There you go.

I'd like to thank you, Brian, for being here, and Jamie, for showing up to this.

I appreciate that, too.

It's always fun when the code shows up, let me tell you.

She's a busy gal, though.

And now after messages from two mics, being Mike Merriman and Mike Murphy, and one Duncan McLeish, you will hear our interview with John Amplas, elusive member of the Romero camp, right after those messages.

Stay tuned.

Bye bye.

Hello, Gary and everyone else joining Gary on this third anniversary show.

First off, I will say congratulations on hitting that three-year mark.

Not a whole lot of podcasters do that, so I'm breaking out a beer and having a drink for your third-year anniversary.

So Gary messaged me and asked me if I'd like to contribute a little something to this episode, and he's asking for three greatest film beefs.

Where do I begin?

Oh, boy, we cover films that generally are swept under the rug on my podcast, so I'm going to kind of use that to cite some film beefs.

First off would be Badasses.

One of my biggest beefs in the so-called action genre is that Fred Williamson and George Eastman aren't in every single action film ever made.

I have huge issues with that simply because I want to see these guys not necessarily together, although that would certainly add a lot to the film, but I want to see them in every.

These guys are badasses.

I want to see them in every action film ever made, sadly.

That's not going to happen.

Both those guys are elder statesmen now and I don't think they're making a whole lot of movies, but enjoy those two and it's a beef I have that they're not in enough action films.

So my other two beefs kind of go hand in hand.

And one of them is what happened to all the boobs in movies, right?

What happened to Nudity?

What happened to all the exploitation films?

Like we used to get in the 70s.

Week after week, there'd be a new exploitation with plenty of boobs on display at the drive-in.

Then again, the drive-in's gone.

It's a thing of the past.

And that genre of film has kind of died and is nearly non-existent anymore.

So I got a beef with that.

I want to see more exploitation films with more boobs in them.

And the other thing is horror.

What happened to horror?

Well, not really horror per se, but like what happened?

Better yet, it's just scratch horror, films across the board.

My final beef is what the fuck happened to R-rated movies?

They're nearly non-existent.

No one wants to go see a PG-13 movie.

Now I'm not saying PG-13 movies can't be good.

Certainly there are a shit ton of good PG-13 movies, but come on, bring back the R-rated movie.

Let's get some nudity going.

Let's get some kills going in horror.

And don't pull away.

I want to see all the kills.

I want to see all the blood and guts.

I want to see more practical effects.

Wow, there's another beef.

There's no more practical effects.

Everything's CG, but then again, if it's done properly, it could still look good.

Those are my three film beefs.

Oh, greatest film rage quit.

Huh, what does that mean?

Does that mean like I'm watching a movie and I just say, fuck this movie and turn it off?

I have done that.

I think that would be considered a rage quit.

I honestly can't recall the film.

I've done it a few times, probably in the last two or three years, considering the show that we do, but off the top of my head, I don't recall what those films were.

I can tell you they were pretty bad.

And as you know, we cover some pretty bad films on this show that we do.

So for me to say to this, fuck this movie, oh, you know what movie I said that to?

Okay, okay, The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears.

I had about 20, is that it?

Of Your Body's Tears, yeah.

It's that French movie that wanted to be a giallo.

I had about 20 minutes left in that film.

And I said, fuck this movie.

And I walked away.

All right, so there's a greatest film rage quit.

One of them, I have a few.

The last question was, a film that you think shaped the way you watch films today.

I like this question.

Anything from the 70s.

I grew up, of course, in the 70s in the drive-ins, in the theaters and seeing just tons of exploitation films.

I was young then.

So as I started to get older and in the 80s, late 80s and early 90s, where we all got the VHS bug and we were all at the stores every day renting movies.

I have to tell you, as a series of films from Andy Sedaris, there are all these action oriented nudie movies.

Those films, those string of films like Malibu Express, Hard to Get to Hawaii, Hard to Die, all those films sort of shape the way I watch and view movies today.

And it's just a sad thing that films like that are no longer made.

Anyway, check out the films of Andy Sedaris, The Girl's Guns and G-Strengths, if you're curious about women in the roles of men and men in the roles of women.

He really flip flops that genre and turns it upside down.

And there's a lot of fun to be had there.

All right, well, I know I've gone way too long here, Gary, and the rest of the gang, congratulations on three years.

Hope to send another voicemail again in another three years.

You guys have a good show.

Bye-bye.

I'll move on when I feel like it.

You always got the goddamn message.

Hello, Gary.

It's Mike in Horror TV land, wishing you a happy three years of the Cinema Beef Podcast.

You asked a few questions for us to answer.

So here we go.

My three greatest film beefs.

Well, for starters, I am gonna be one of those people that still complain about goddamn remakes.

I guess you could say I've softened my stance over the years from outright hate to just general disinterest.

If a particular remake, reboot, whatever the hell happens to catch my attention, yeah, maybe I'll give it a look.

But in general, I just don't care.

So that's one of them.

Another film beef of mine, how the fuck did Titanic win best picture over LA Confidential?

I'll never let that one go.

And I don't even really care that much about the Oscars, so go figure.

And I guess another one of mine would be what the hell is people's problems with subtitles?

I just don't understand.

Because as bad as most dubbing is, it turns almost every foreign movie into an unintentional comedy.

Learn to love the subtitles, people, for the sake of the movie.

Your next question.

Your greatest film rage quit.

Well, this is actually an interesting one, because my greatest film rage quit.

Now, I'm notorious for not really quitting on movies, especially movies I see in the theater.

I don't think I've actually ever walked out of a movie in the theater.

I've fallen asleep before.

I've been disinterested plenty, but I've actually never got out or got up and walked out.

But I have quit on movies at home.

And one of my earliest memories of doing this is for a movie that I actually love the hell out of now.

And I have loved it for a long time.

But back when I was a kid and I picked up this movie, I had no idea what I was in for.

I don't even like to call myself a child of the 80s because I was born in 80.

So I guess growing up somewhat from the mid 80s on, probably more late 80s to where I could actually seek out movies.

I've told this many times on my show and other shows, but because it's kind of my age group and I find out a lot of podcasters are kind of in this age group, I grew up in the era of the sequel.

A lot of the classics I actually saw the sequels to first before the original.

A lot of that's due to watching most of my movies, courtesy of the video store, where a lot of the originals were always rented out.

Back in the day, most of the little video stores had one copy of all the movies, so you really had no recourse but to wait.

So I picked up a little movie that is called Halloween III Season of the Witch.

Now, you gotta remember, this is probably either really, really the 80s or early 90s.

There was no internet, no wiki, no IMDB.

I probably just ignored reading the box.

I'm sure somewhat of the plot was on the back of the box, but all I knew about Halloween was Michael Myers.

So you can imagine as a kid, you know, I'm going through all of them.

Let's see what part three is all about.

About a half hour in, there's no damn Michael Myers.

And I was just pissed off.

There's these things with the mask.

What the hell is going on?

I was so pissed.

I couldn't look past that at that age.

I was just so angry about it.

So I turned the movie off, put it back in the case, and probably didn't watch it again for a good handful of years.

And of course, the very next time I saw it, I really kind of liked it, and I've loved it ever since.

But it's just a funny memory of mine, how much I was pissed off and hated it and wanted nothing to do with it the very first time I watched it or half watched it.

And then your last question.

Let's get to this one.

What film shaped the way you watch films today?

Well, I guess you could almost say Halloween III because it taught me a lesson to give things a chance or maybe read the plot on the back of the box before I put the movie in or before I even rent it.

But I want to say Rosemary's Baby because that was probably my first horror movie watch.

That was a long running time, a really slow burn, a slow developing plot.

And seeing it relatively young, it was a real change from the kind of stuff younger kids, even younger teens, teenagers tend to watch is like the 90 minute, everything's quick, get to it type style.

So Rosemary's Baby really taught me that to enjoy, I mean, as long as the film is good and you're entertained, that two hour running, two hour plus running times can be a good thing.

So, yeah, that is that.

So, once again, congratulations on hitting three years.

It's quite of accomplishment and you've been releasing a lot of episodes, Rapid Fire Lately, which has been providing me a lot to listen to at work, which is a good thing, because I'd much rather listen to Cinema Beef than the people around me.

So, here's to three more years of the beef.

Well, hello, Cinema Beef.

This is Duncan McLeish from the Podcast Under the Stairs, and a little birdie tells me that it's someone's third year anniversary.

Now, to most people, three years in any aspect of life, a job, a marriage, a child's age, is not pivotal.

It's just another number.

But in the world of podcasting, three years is an important number.

I mean, how many shows do we know that have come up and disappeared in those three years?

Chances are that number's quite high.

Podcasting is a discipline that demands time, enthusiasm, effort and attention for, in most cases, zero pay.

And you put a little bit of yourself out in each show, very much like an artist painting a picture, and it's out there for the world to criticise.

And guess what the world likes to criticise?

I can say of all the shows that I listen to, Cinema Beef is one of the most unique, weirdly wacky and interesting shows that have ever graced my podcast library.

I mean, it's a show that picks random links between movies, sometimes less random, but most of the time quite random, and compiles them all in, and really gives you an interesting listen, which covers the huge spectrum of what cinema is.

Point of fact, my very first appearance as a guest on a podcast, which predates the podcast under the stairs, so it was when I was still doing music and movie podcasts, I hadn't made the transition to horror podcasting, was actually Cinema Beef, and it was with the fantastic Gary Hill.

I made another appearance on Cinema Beef after that.

I was joined by the incomparable Jesse and the fantastic Corey, and we looked at zombie movies, zombie comedies, and it was pretty fucking awesome sitting up to what I believe was about half four, five o'clock my time in the morning, chatting with you guys over a few drinks and just having an absolute blast.

And that ultimately is the experience I've had every single time I've been on Cinema Beef.

It's a true joy to sit and just shoot the shit and talk about movies, concentrating on sometimes the most absurd aspects of cinema.

And at the same time, really delving into kind of overlooked performances by actors that sometimes don't get the credit they deserve, or even filmmakers who are not the first names spring to mind when talking about the great utters of cinema.

So yeah, this is huge.

Three years is massive, and the show has went from strength to strength.

Yes, you've had different hosts that have sat in for a while, but I genuinely believe the current incarnation with the fantastic Jamie Jenkins and the absolutely wonderful Jeff X.

Martin is the best combination of cinema beef there has ever been.

So three years is huge, and it shouldn't be undersold by anyone, and I just wanted to spend a bit of time congratulating you.

Now, you gave me some homework.

I hate homework, but you put me on the spot and asked me to contribute three answers to three questions that you've posed to everyone who is recording a message for your show.

The first thing you asked me to do was my three greatest film beefs.

Now, when I asked you tonight, the night of this recording, what that actually meant, didn't mean movies that I don't like.

You said, well, it could be movies or tropes.

Apparently, a lot of people are focusing on tropes.

I don't like to do things by half measures, so I've decided to do three films.

And if you don't already have hate mail against your show, my three films are likely to do it.

So the first one is actually a movie we discussed on my very first appearance.

It's Ridley Scott's Gladiator, which is a movie I don't like.

I think as Roman epics go, it's pretty boring.

I don't think the CGI is all that great.

I think Russell Crowe is about as wooden as Wood gets.

I think Joaquin Phoenix looks like he's constantly about to cry in the movie.

I just don't feel anything about it at all.

I think that's his biggest crime is that I should be swept up in a father's revenge and I just don't feel anything when watching it.

So it kind of fails for me.

If you haven't already had hate mail for that one, allow me to up the ante with my second movie, Top Gun.

I really don't like Top Gun.

I know there's a huge kick for the nostalgic performances in the 1980s of Tom Cruise, but to me, Tom Cruise doesn't really hit his stride until much later on in his career.

People will say it's got fighter jets, it's got a bitchin soundtrack.

This is the movie you should watch.

And I would counter by saying watch Iron Eagle, which is an infinitely more fun, better movie, which has a better soundtrack and still has fighter planes.

I mean, these kids learned to fly fighter planes in less than a week and saved their dad who's been captured in Afghanistan or Iraq.

I can't remember which country it is.

Infinitely better movie, so fuck Top Gun.

The third movie, and this one certainly will have people skipping ahead to the next message, is The Wrestler.

Don't like The Wrestler, don't get it.

Doesn't do anything for me at all.

Don't think Mickey Rourke is all that great in it.

And maybe it's because the subject matter is lost on me, not coming from a country that has the rich heritage of professional wrestling, as you guys do over in the States.

But it's just a tedious movie for me.

I find my interest waning in the middle.

And it is further proof that I am indeed dead inside.

No tears, no tears at the end of that movie.

You asked me for a second question, a film Rage Quit, a movie that I quit watching in Rage.

And truth be told, that list is tiny.

There are very few movies that I've ever switched off, I think.

And most of them I've had to re-watch for shows that I've recorded.

And that is very much the case with this one I'm about to mention, which is a Serbian film, which is a movie that gets a lot of notoriety for reasons that are beyond me.

I believe it's because the baby rape scene in it is so horrific.

And not that I want to make light of baby rape scenes, but it's so badly shot and so obviously fake, the impact is pretty much not there.

It's a movie which is sold as something which is politically motivated, and it's clearly just an exploitation movie, and it isn't a very good one at that.

It's pretty to look at, but that's about it.

Now you asked me as a final question about a film that shaped the way that I watch cinema, and truth be told, I couldn't just pick one, I have to pick two.

So the first one, and this is academic, I mean, we're about the same age, and I'm surprised if this one wouldn't make your list, is Big Trouble in Little China by John Carpenter.

It gives us one of the greatest kind of anti-heroes, or useless heroes in cinema history in Jack Burton.

Fantastic performance by Kurt Russell.

But the soundtrack's awesome, the special effects, whilst cheesy I think still hold up.

It's got not the greatest martial arts in the world, but back then that martial arts was pretty bitchin.

I think the story's great, I just think the cast, I just think the whole movie is actually flawless.

Gary, the one that I really want to talk about is one that genuinely shaped the way I look at cinema, and that is Terry Gillingham's Time Bandits.

Time Bandits I saw when it came out, along with such films as The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, really kind of solidified the idea for me that cinema could be multi-faceted.

It can be comedic, it can be adventurous, it can be fantastical, it can be dark, and Time Bandits gets dark.

And the end of that movie, one of the darkest ends to a kids movie in cinema history.

Thank you very much, Terry Gillingham.

I think it's incredible.

I think the performances are great in it.

I think David Warner is evil.

So it doesn't surprise me that he is evil in the movie.

And it has a fellow countryman, The Great.

I say great loosely.

Sean Connery, who is playing Alexander the Great in this movie.

And I bet you didn't know Alexander the Great was Scottish, but apparently he is.

So yeah, Time Bandits is the pick for me.

This message has ran long, but I believe it just kind of solidifies how much love and respect I have for your show.

Congratulations again for reaching the milestone of three years.

I can't wait to come back on your show very, very soon to bring some beef to your grinder.

That sounds a lot filthier than it did in my head or on the bit of paper I wrote it down.

Congratulations again, guys.

Speak to you all soon.

Now welcome to the program.

One of the great actors and workers in what I call the Romero camp, Mr.

John Amplas.

Mr.

John Amplas, how are you doing, sir?

I'm doing great.

Thank you so much.

Oh, man.

The first question to ask really is how you got in the business, really?

That's the first question, really.

Well, I've been in theater my entire life.

That's how I started.

I'm still working in theater, but I started doing plays when I was around 10 years old.

So I spent most of my life in the theater.

But George and I met my last year in college.

He saw me in a play.

He had a script for a new film, but the role of, the lead role of Martin was written with an older character in mind.

But for whatever reason, he saw when he saw the play, he decided to kind of rewrite it.

And then a couple of months later, he came back and asked me if I wanted to do it.

When that's how I got in contact with George for Martin.

Which play was it that he was so impressed by?

I don't know if he was so impressed by the play as much as hopefully he was impressed by me.

But it was a play called, it was a play called Philemon.

It was the same people that wrote the long, off-Broadway running play called Fantastics.

So Martin was your first big film role, I guess you would call it?

Yeah, yeah, primarily.

Yes, it was.

How did everything come about with that?

This is primarily what we did, we covered Martin as a review.

Just tell us a little about the production and stuff.

About Martin?

About Martin, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Martin was shot in 1976.

I was 27.

Martin is about a vampire, or he might be a vampire.

Well I would have assumed you had known the film.

Yeah, we know the plot.

We know it.

I gave it a revisit because when I saw it when I was 13, I didn't like it so much, but I'm 34 now and I get a lot more of what's going on in the film basically.

Well I hope so, gee whiz.

Yeah, but anyway, I shot it in 76 and that was my first outing with Romero.

And it was, Savini was his first outing with Romero as well.

Did he work with the makeups in that movie at all or no?

Yeah, he did all of the special effects stuff and he had a role in it.

Yeah, my mustache-less Tom Savini in that movie.

That's correct, yes, that's right, in his youth, in his younger days.

Yeah, you say you're 27 when they filmed it, but you look much, much younger in that movie.

Yeah, I looked about 18, 17.

Especially aside from your Colonel Sanders looking cousin in that movie.

That's right, that's right, Tala Cuda, Lincoln Miscell.

Lincoln, interestingly enough, passed away a few years ago, but he lived to be 106 years old.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was a heavy guy.

I was surprised that he lived that long.

Yeah, he was incredible.

He was in his late 70s, I guess, when we shot it.

So yeah, he passed away about five or six years ago, I think.

What was it like making the jump from theater to the film?

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear that.

What was it like making the jump from theater to film?

You know, surprisingly enough, there's not a hell of a lot of difference.

Other than in film, you have the opportunity to do it again sometimes.

In theater, you have to do the whole damn thing all at once.

But you know, it wasn't that big of a change.

Acting is acting, there are certainly some technical aspects in the medium of film that have to be taken into account in that you don't always shoot in sequence.

But preparation and understanding the story is pretty much the same.

So, I never had any major problem doing a play and then doing a movie.

They work pretty much the same in my mind.

They work a lot on these films, even behind the scenes.

What was your experience?

What was my favorite?

How can I forget this one?

Oh yeah, Dawn of the Dead.

What was it like working on.

Dawn of the Dead, yeah, I did some casting and also was thrown into it as an actor in a short little role at the beginning.

But yeah, primarily I did some casting and mostly that was about gathering a lot of the zombies and the living dead creatures that we were using for that.

But a couple of the major actors, I helped a little bit with getting David NB involved and Joe Pallotto had a small role in that and got him involved.

But primarily, I just after shooting Martin, Martin was in 76 and so I think we shot Dawn in 78, I just wanted to be around and I was lucky enough to talk to George and stick around for another movie.

And then it became, I would get a role in the next movie and the next.

So I was lucky enough to do like five, six films with George all told between 76 and about 93.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, it is.

Besides Dawn, you know, my favorite probably of your work and I love Martin now, but I don't love it like you.

I don't love it like I love Creepshow and then Creepshow is so special.

Oh, sure.

You were the zombie Nathan, right?

That's correct.

Yes, sir.

I was.

I was.

What was the experience like working on Creepshow?

Very good.

Yeah, terrific.

Tom Savini gave me a call when they were when they had begun getting ready to begin shooting.

They needed they needed an actor to play this what I call dead mate character.

And I was probably about 40 or 50 pounds lighter at the time.

So they needed somebody that could fit into this suit that Savini was devising and still look fairly emaciated.

And so he called me in and put me under plaster for a week and made then worked on the special effects makeup and the mask and the gloves and the suit for about a month.

And then I came back and shot for a week.

Got to talk and meet with Stephen King and worked again with some terrific actors.

Carrie and I, who finally allowed me to have her cake, yeah.

And Vivica Linfers, Ed Harris again, who also was in Knight Riders, which was Knight Riders was Ed's first feature film.

Oh, I forgot to mention Knight Riders, I'm sorry, you know.

Yeah, that's okay.

I did.

So yeah, I had a great experience.

I've had a great experience all the way through.

I've never had a bad day on the set with an In-N-Out film.

Now, did you work with the thing in the Crate Fluffy, he's named, were you like working with that thing too at Knight Riders?

No, I was only in the first episode.

Oh, okay.

I thought that was Father's Day.

Yeah.

I thought I read that somewhere.

No, there's another actor.

There is another actor of his name, Escapes Me Right Now, who was actually working as Tom's assistant, I think, on the film.

But god damn it, I was just, I just saw him not too long ago, a few months ago.

Daryl, is it Daryl Furnucci, something like that, who played the creature in The Crate.

I always thought it was you.

I was like, convention pictures, like, okay.

No, that wasn't me.

I'm the guy, I'm the guy that comes up out of the grave and kills Ed Harris and Vivica Limpers and ultimately Carrie Nye.

You're woken up by Jack Daniels, I think, I think, you know, old Nathan needed a drink, I think.

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, that's right.

In confession time, you know, to this day, I have a buddy who did the very first episode of the show with me.

I still try to bring him a cake every Father's Day just because of that, that, that, that movie and that, that second.

Yes, indeed.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

It's not a severed head, but it's still a nice afterthought, see?

It's a, it's a right.

It's a crowd favorite.

I think that a lot of folks and myself included like Day of the Dead a little bit better.

What was it like working on that one, sir?

I love Day of the Dead.

Yeah.

And you know, it's, I, I like it a little more than I, than Dawn as well.

I know there are a couple, there are two factions out there, the Dawn people and the Day people.

In fact, I had, I had another interview this morning, actually, with someone.

And he was a Dawn of the Dead guy.

And so, and now I'm talking to a Day of the Dead guy.

Well, I could like both.

I mean, I do, I do love both.

He's just, Dawn's a little more, a little more obscure than Day is, you know.

I mean, the other way around, Day's a little more obscure than Dawn is.

Yes, it is a little bit.

But I like Day because it's a little more honest, I think.

You know, for me, Dawn is, it's kind of a comic book style.

And Day is a little more honest and visceral and realistic in many ways.

Both certainly address, you know, the cultural and political issues of the time.

George is still able to make his thematic expression clear.

But for me, I'm more of a fan of Day.

I think Day also had, you know, overall, I think the acting was stronger.

Not that the acting wasn't appropriate in Dawn.

I mean, I love all those guys, too.

But I think it was just a little more realistic, and I love the visceral effects of Day.

That last half an hour is still some of the best zombie characters I've ever captured on.

Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely.

In fact, that's where, oh, gee, my mind's going blank, What's-His-Name, who is one of the, who is, his company runs a special effects for The Walking Dead music producer on The Walking Dead.

Gregory Nicotero.

Yeah, there you go.

Now we're talking.

Greg.

Yeah, he started on, he started on Dead, working on those effects with Savini.

That's a good, it's a good school to go to, see?

Yeah, it sure is.

How close did you work with Howard Sherman?

Cause he's always everybody's favorite, you know, the zombie with a name.

I think I, I just, I was just at a convention with Howard.

We said we were sitting next to each other.

So on set, I didn't, you know, Howard, Howard's work was primarily by himself a good deal of the time, but we were always kind of observing Howard.

You know, Richard Liberty had the opportunities to, you know, to have communication with him.

The rest of us just had the opportunity to watch.

I think Howard Sherman's performance as Bob ranks among the top horror performances of all time.

You know, he created a character as good as Karloff did with Frankenstein.

Oh, I agree wholeheartedly.

Yeah.

I was able to sit there.

In fact, my first day of shooting was in that laboratory.

And I sat for, I would sit for hours watching him work.

I thought it was amazing.

And Howard's a really good guy.

I mean, he's down to a terrific, terrific guy.

I've heard some great Joe, oh God, Captain Rowe.

Pilato?

Yeah, Pilato.

He's heard some great Pilato stories, like he's as crazy as he seems on screen.

Well, I don't want to tell when he tells out of school.

So you know, Joe is somebody that commits to everything he does, whether it's on screen or off screen.

He's a fully committed kind of guy.

But you know, his over the top performance just matched the strength of that movie and kind of required it, you know.

He was somebody that you really had to contend with and he made sure that happened.

He got into that role pretty well, man.

He was a he was running that guy at Monkey Farm.

He sure was.

You know, another person that I really appreciated, of course, was Laura Carbill, who as far as I know, was really the first strong female heroine in a horror film.

I mean, she was not a scream queen.

She took charge and she made things happen and she's the first female in that position that I know of in a horror film.

Yeah, her and Sigourney Weaver in Alien, but you know, that's just me talking stuff, you know.

Right.

No, but that's true.

No, no.

I mean, Sigourney Weaver, of course.

But I mean, at the time, Laurie was first in the first one to really make that happen.

Of course, that all, all of it comes from George's script.

So it was George's thought to have a female lead like that.

His script was cut down quite a bit though.

I had asked him once at convention, like, if you had the budget now, would you redo it with your full script that you wanted to do?

Yeah.

What'd he say?

He really didn't have a good answer.

Like basically, like he made the movie already and like moving on that kind of deal and.

I think he got whatever.

I think he got everything out of it that he needed to.

Oh, I got no complaints, you know, but I know the script was substantially longer than it was on screen.

And I'm sure and for budgetary reasons was was changed.

Mm hmm.

Oh, man.

So you do a lot of conventions.

I've never seen you went on my way.

I'm in Chicagoland here and I'm waiting.

I keep wanting to get to Chicago.

I'm waiting for you to come.

The Days of the Dead is coming to Chicago again soon, isn't it?

This November.

Yes.

And I just did The Days of the Dead in Indiana.

And I keep talking to Bill Philpott and saying come on, get me to Chicago.

Oh, yeah, it would be good stuff.

I've met everybody, like not everybody, but I've met a lot of people in the Romero camp, including George himself and his wife Christine.

It's always a great experience.

You know, yeah, well, you know, we're a family.

So many of us have worked on the same films and have had, you know, multiple outings with George.

And that's true of how George runs a set, too.

You know, it's a family affair.

I mean, he's used in those days, he was using the same exact crew from film to film to film.

I mean, I did six movies with George and worked with the same and worked with the same grips and gaffers and all of that, you know, we were back in the late 70s and the 80s, we were a repertory company.

That Laurel Company, they were working a lot, huh?

We all knew each other and maybe that helped too, making these movies.

Did you ever get to work on Tales from the Dark Side?

What's that?

Did you ever get to work on Tales from the Dark Side?

No, I didn't.

Uh-uh.

Yeah, I was just curious.

There's so many episodes of those, I thought maybe you had your hand in a couple of them, you know.

No, I didn't have my hand in any of those.

But I, all through this time, I mean, in 82, I started teaching, so, and I'm still teaching.

I teach acting and directing for Point Park University.

We work out of the 5th Street Playhouse.

And so, I was acting on stage at the same time I was doing a lot of these movies.

Yeah, I was just talking to Scott Reininger.

He was telling me that he, that's what he does now.

He teaches kids how to act.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've been teaching since 1982, so I have 34 years in.

I got to meet him at the last, it was a 24-hour horror fest, and it was a long night, and he was there signing autographs and stuff.

He's terrific.

Scott's a great guy, really good guy.

And we, many of us worked together in New York, too, not on stage or in film.

We all worked at the same restaurant, bartending and waiting at Lady Astor's, across from the Public Theater in New York.

So Scottie was there when I was there, and David MD was there when I was there.

So we all kind of knew each other in New York, too.

That's great to have that connection.

If there's anything else you want to push, anything going on, do you want to plug or you can go and do that now, if you'd like to?

Well, I don't have anything really going on at the moment.

I finished directing the play, so I do a lot still in the theater.

Not so much on film these days.

I have a 17-year-old son that I keep after and try to make sure he's living a good life.

So that's primarily my focus these days.

Well, that's great.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

And I do a convention here in America, two or three conventions.

Next time I'm out, we'll be in Syracuse.

There's a film festival in Syracuse in April that I'm going to be a part of.

They're showing Martin as one of the films.

And so that'll be my next appearance.

That's great.

Unless you can get me in.

Unless you can talk to Bill Philpott to get me in to Daisy's Dead in Chicago.

That's a touchy subject.

I'll talk about that off the air.

I think it's great that you live in Pittsburgh.

That's a great, great son of Pittsburgh, though I guess you would call it.

I hear Mr.

Tom Atkins does Scrooge every year.

I'd love to go to make it out to Pittsburgh.

They're ramping up to get ready to start that again very soon.

I would love to come and see that.

But with that, I'd like to thank you, Mr.

Amplas, for giving us this time and telling us some good stories and stuff.

I really appreciate it.

Well, I don't know how good they were, but I'm always happy to talk to Romero fans.

Well, I go to a lot of conventions myself and you get to meet your heroes.

That's something special in itself, but to have time to sit down and talk to one of them for 20 minutes or so, just you and that person is really special.

The fans is really what keeps all these movies alive.

I'm really appreciative of all the horror fans are the best fans in the world.

Oh, I agree.

But with that, I'll leave you and say thanks again and have a lovely night, sir.

Okay, Gary.

Take good care.

All right.

And now, for messages from the gentleman's guide to Minute Cinema's own, Will Smith.

That guy's pretty awesome.

All these guys are pretty awesome.

Graveship Radio's Ryan Lewis, and Banana Laser, Skeleton Crew, and the Exploding Heads, and the ABCs of Hidden Horror.

That's a big resume, guys.

Mr.

Dave Zandano, right now.

Hey, what's up, Cinema Beefers?

It's William here.

I'm just calling in.

At the request of good friend Gary, forgive the audio quality of this recording.

I'm recording it from a Bluetooth headset in my driveway in my truck.

I've just finished a long shift at work, and I wanted to do it before I went in my house, and I have two young kids, and I would have immediately forgotten.

I wanted to talk about a few things.

Firstly, greatest film, Rage Quit, which I interpret, of course, to mean films I've just either turned off or walked out of in Rage, and these aren't going to be the most creative or deep-cut answers, but the two that come to mind the most for me are one from, I guess, probably my high school years.

I want to say it was Scream 3.

I believe it was Scream 3.

I was in the aisles.

In the aisles, I was sitting in my seat, and there's a reveal towards the back end, and the final girl eludes the antagonist.

And at that point, I was very furious with the way it had gone.

I had seen so many horror movies, certainly, and I should have expected it, but for a series of films that had prided itself to some degree on deconstructing the genre, I thought it would have been a great way to turn it on its ear by having the final girl be a killer or by having her not be the final girl, which has been done, I guess, some ways in passing the torch in a series, but I was kind of furious about the weird road they took.

I guess at that point, it is the law of diminishing returns.

I should have expected that.

Second is a Swedish film called Apon or Ape in English.

More of an art film than anything, but it's kind of transgressive art film, which to me has kind of replaced a lot of the standard horror that I see or I start to see more melding of art and transgression in cinema and sort of channeling out horror through those two things.

But it's a film that it opens at a furious kind of pace.

You don't know what's happening.

It's very disorienting.

The principal character is frantically trying to do something and you're piecing together as the film goes on the grave situation he's in in his personal life.

Towards the end of the film, I was at the Toronto Film Festival, I let out an audible groan and I said, you've got to be fucking kidding me.

And in hindsight, that was kind of a poor reaction.

And it's a film that I've often wrestled with wanting to revisit.

In fact, I'd love to revisit because I don't think I gave it maybe a fair shake.

And that's me bringing my own expectations to it or perceived or preconceived notions.

Three film beefs, I guess one of the big beefs I have is, you know, I grew up a horror fan.

That's why I've become a fan of world cinema and an art house and everything around the world that revolves on film.

Its seed was planted with horror in the 80s, being a child of the 80s.

But I hate lazy, cash in horror.

Film in general needs fresh ideas.

Horror needs fresh ideas.

And I really hate lazy, cash ins in films.

And to piggyback on that, I hate laziness.

I hate playing it safe and being...

I know, you know, you have to make your money back as a studio, but I think the system that's in place, there's room for $10 million films or $5 million films or $2 million films to be released through VOD and to take more risks and ultimately reward the viewers that much more.

You know, I just think that it doesn't happen enough in film nowadays.

It's boom or bust, you know, if everyone wants to chase the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

And the third beef I have is the remake cycle, which kind of ties in with not playing it safe from a studio perspective.

But I get it, you know, the things a remake and myriad of films are remakes or reimaginings, rejiggings, reinterpretations, reboots, whatever you want to call it, however you want to cut the pie.

But the frequency with which we've seen these has become very tiresome, to the point that I've almost taken a stance where I just don't watch them anymore and teach their own.

But it's a beef I have that when there's so many wonderful original scripts out there, there are so many other pieces of source material that could be adapted wonderfully in an age when it's limitless what you can do.

I mean, we couldn't have the films we have today 30 years ago because of the technology being so far behind where it is now.

But you can do a lot more with a lot less these days.

And if Nicholas Weining Refn can make a film for $7 million or $5 million and take him or leave him, Robert Rodriguez can make a film for miniscule numbers compared to some of the tent pole films every year.

I think there's something to be said for that.

In terms of a film that's shaped the way I watch films today, there's so many bricks in that wall.

But I think when I started to look at film more as a medium that could really astound me, and neither one of these are deep cuts, but there's sort of very, very vanilla answers, but it's Godfather and Citizen Kane, both of which when I'd seen them, I was really floored at how perfect the medium could be and what it means to kind of fire on all cylinders from a cinematic perspective.

I've seen many films that maybe I wouldn't score as technically perfect, like The Devils, Santa Sangre, you know, a number of films that move me immensely, but when I saw those two films, Fritz Lang's M, just really astounded me to the point that the medium could do so much and could really, it's a perfect melding of sound and image, emotion, and these things all put together really help me to appreciate the way I look at film and what I want from film.

That's it.

I hope everyone's well.

Gary, as always, thank you for graciously asking me for my two cents, or in this case my ten cents.

I do tend to ramble and be long winded and make a short story long, as it were, but thank you once again, and I hope everyone's doing well, listeners, etc.

Have a good night, everyone, and as always, adios.

Happy third anniversary.

It is amazing how time flies.

And I hope for many, many more.

This is Ryan Lewis from Graveship Radio, and I just wanted to leave a message about my beefs.

And here we go.

Before I get into my beefs, I want to talk about the film that I feel has shaped the way that I look at films today.

And for me, that has to be Star Wars.

I watched Star Wars, and from the very young age that I originally saw that film and its follow-ups, as the most eye-opening day of my existence, to this day, I'm a five-year-old child watching Star Wars.

And every film that came after it, basically I judged by it.

And sure, there's been better films in different genres.

There's been Oscar-worthy films that have affected society.

But for me, Star Wars is the film that literally made me who I am today, and basically the freakish loser that I am now that is obsessed with Star Wars.

And that will never go away thanks to that film.

Now, three biggest film beefs.

That's a tough one for me, because I am an incredibly accepting person.

I think to myself that film is a work of art, even bad films, and when I watch a film, I try to look at the effort that somebody put into something.

So I don't generally see things as, oh, I got such a problem with this film.

But there are some films that no matter how much I try to look on the positive side, I cannot think of anything extremely positive to say about them.

One of which would be Batman and Robin.

I've actually been on Cinema Beef before, and I hashed it out with Gary about Batman and Robin and how much I think this is a horrible film.

And I can't stress enough, this is a horrible film.

This film is so bad, it completely destroyed the Batman franchise.

And I'm a huge Batman 89 and Batman Returns fan, and this film just destroyed every bit of effort that was put into that series.

And for that, I will never forgive that film, so that is a huge beef of mine.

Secondly, I'd have to say, how about the Nightmare on Elm Street reboot?

There's many people that I've met since that shockingly love this film, and I just don't understand it.

I don't get it.

To me, it betrays everything that Nightmare on Elm Street is about, so that's beef number two.

Now, beef number three is the same thing as the movie that pissed me off so much that I couldn't finish it in the theaters.

And I'm going to preface this with a story.

One time my brother, my little brother, my younger brother, he took a movie when he came to visit my house that I love.

He took Event Horizon.

Now I love Event Horizon.

It's just this wonderful, you know, creepy, bad ass film that I love.

And to this day, I still love this film.

Well, he took it.

He took it and I had no idea where it went.

And I went to visit him and inside I found the case of my film, but it was empty.

I asked him about it.

He said, dude, I'm sorry, it's gone, but I'll make it up to you.

And I said, OK, OK, how are you going to make it up to me?

And he gave me this film that I have.

And I kept it pretty much as a reminder about how horrible film could be.

And that film is House of the Dead.

Oh my God, this film is disgustingly horrible.

I hate this film more than I could possibly say.

And I generally don't hate much of anything, but I hate this film.

I went to see it when it came out in theaters because it was based off a video game.

And oh, we got zombies and dead things walking around.

So of course, how am I not going to like it?

Shit, it even has the girl from Halloween 4 in it.

So you never know, I might like this film.

I could not make it halfway through.

I walked out and I vowed to never watch this film again because of how bad it is.

But thanks to my brother stealing from me, I own a copy of it.

And I finished watching it just to see the rest.

And damn it, I was right about that movie.

That movie is...

I don't even want to get into it anymore.

But there you go.

There are my choices.

So happy third anniversary again, guys.

Gary, keep throwing them out there, man, because you are the podcasting god.

And Beef, it's a great show, and it always will be.

So have a good one, guys.

Hey, Cinema Beef.

This is your friend Dave Z here.

Congratulations on three years.

I remember the humble beginnings when Gary and I basically kind of started doing podcasting at the same time.

And I was on one of the early shows with you.

But yeah, three years, pretty cool.

And now you got two of the best in the game with you.

With Jamie, of course, and X.

And that's fantastic.

I'm enjoying the shows.

This is the only show I can listen to that isn't always talking about horror.

So that's a testament to the three of you guys being so enjoyable to listen to.

So congratulations.

And I'm going to give my three beefs.

Number three, the sacrament, or as I like to call it, the excrement.

I just don't like the fact that somebody took a real life event and turned it into a movie without crediting anybody, tried to pass it off as their own.

And on top of that, it was a very light version of what really happened.

Jamie, I know that you agree with me on this.

I don't know about you other guys, but the sacrament.

Number three, number two, Jason Goes to Hell.

Everybody knows I'm a big Friday the 13th fanboy.

I don't like what they did at all with that movie, with the body jumping, making him a worm, he can't die.

It's just such a departure from the humble beginnings of this series.

Just don't like that.

And number one, Halloween Colon Resurrectum, also known as Halloween Resurrection.

Movie should have never have happened.

I wasn't even a big fan of H2O, but the way it ended was fantastic.

So chopping off a guy's head pretty much sums it up.

I remember my father used to watch these movies with me, all these slashers when I was a kid.

And he used to always say, just chop off his fucking head, that'll end it.

And sure enough, it finally did happen.

They chopped off a villain's head.

And I was like, awesome, great ending to a movie, great ending to a series.

Then they had to make that piece of shit Resurrection.

And you know, the rest is history.

It never should have been made.

The Buster Rhyme stuff was ridiculous.

And yeah, I'm not going to go on and on, but those are my three big beefs.

As far as the quit, I've never watched a movie.

I sat down and watched a movie and quit on it.

I've always stayed to the end.

I don't know, I guess I'm patient when it comes to movies.

So I have not done that.

The only time I ever left a movie, I went to the drive-in and I saw a double feature.

And it was Planet, it was Grindhouse at the drive-in.

So both those movies.

And at the end, they put on Lady and the Water.

And after about 45 minutes, I was just bored with it.

And we just left because we were at a drive-in.

It's just easy to drive away.

So that's the only time I've actually quit on a movie.

So there you have it.

As far as the movie that shaped the way I watch films today, I guess I could say Natural Born Killers because it's my favorite movie.

And it was when I first started noticing cinematography in different aspects of film.

You know, I was just partying and watching it and I watched it so many times, I just started catching on to new things.

And now I'm kind of in the art house films and different things like that.

So that's the best I got.

Anyway, again, congratulations.

Three years is a pretty cool feat.

And here's the three more.

You got the beef, I got the grinder.

Peace.

Within this old house, live two residents.

One of them is John Russell, composer, professor.

The other has been dead for over 70 years.

Claire, I'd like to talk to you about the house.

How did you die?

Whatever it is, is trying desperately to communicate.

What is it in that house, Claire?

What is it doing?

Why is it trying to reach me?

Senator, I'm John Rusland.

I'm living in your house.

Senator, look.

Look, I want to, I want to show him that.

You got something of the senators.

He wants it back.

What is it you want?

Many films will frighten you, but only a few can really terrify you.

Hello, welcome once again to the 31 Days of Rotting Beef.

Hello, with me is my co-host, Jamie Jenkins.

How you doing, girl?

I am doing great, and that's two times.

I'm excited.

You're welcome to come on any of these.

You know that, just busy, busy, busy.

Yeah, I do, but I'm glad to be here when I can be, because this is fun, just little nipples, if you will.

Definitely.

And with me, as well as Brian and Sammons, how you doing, sir?

Yeah, pretty much where Jamie goes, I follow.

Does she have a lead?

Well, I was going to take pictures in the gym suit.

I'm okay with that, okay?

And it doesn't have spikes on the collar.

Just a regular choke chain.

I choose three of the other ones.

Beautiful.

Tonight, we are doing the changeling from 1979, starting the great George C.

Scott.

Basically, the plot and the office of this, George C.

Scott plays a guy, a music composer slash teacher, whose wife and daughter were tragically killed in an accident.

This forces him to move on and move in to a creepy house, which some goings on happens in his house.

He starts to hear weird noises.

He starts to see doors opening and close, and it gets into a whole lot more deal with some soap opera conspiracies, I'll say, and intrigue, stuff like that.

The only other cast I've ever really recognized in this film, and I kind of feel bad about this because I'm unprepared, I guess, is Jean Marsh, who of course is the evil Queen Bavorda in Willow.

If you remember that movie, like I do.

Jamie, take the lead on this one, girl.

What do you like about The Changeling?

Oh man, everything.

This is, okay.

Brian and I frequently talk about how we miss the days when you would get a good adult horror film.

And that does not mean that we're downing, like a slasher, because both of us are huge slasher fans.

And so it doesn't mean that a film can't be silly or aimed at the youth because we love them all.

But this was during a time when horror was taken very seriously and you had things like The Exorcist and The Omen and this, which is a very adult film.

It takes all of its cues from the atmosphere, the surroundings, you have all adult characters, like George C.

Scott, who has gone through some severe emotional trauma.

And he, oh man, he does a good job here.

I just, I love the way he emotes.

To be such a surly guy and one that I, to this day, whenever I hear the name George C.

Scott, the first thing I think of is Patton.

Even though he is in several of my favorite horror films, even like Exorcist III, I think he does an excellent job there too.

But I always think of him as Patton.

And to see him awake in the morning after dreaming about his dead family and just, he's broken down in tears, it brings tears to my eyes.

He just really tugged at my heartstrings there.

And this film, I think, is genuinely creepy, scary.

It's also very sad.

It has several sad moments.

I don't even know, it's set in Seattle, which is wonderful because you get the constant dreary, rainy, wet feel that just is inherent to Seattle.

So it lends itself beautifully to a ghost film.

And you've got this huge gothic mansion that where everything is impossibly large.

I mean, these rooms are just unreasonably large.

There is no reason in the world this house should be this big, but it just makes it that much more ominous.

It sort of compounds his loneliness and his isolation and the fact that he's there all by himself and he starts hearing the pounding and have little things like a rubber ball, bouncing down the stairs or whatever.

Little bitty things just become that much more ominous in this particular setting.

So I think it's handled beautifully.

The direction is amazing.

The score is very good.

I paid special attention to the score when I was listening to the, when I was watching it this time.

And I really don't have anything bad to say.

There's a tight little mystery.

And there's a little bit of misdirection, maybe a third of the way through the film where you think that it's gonna be one thing and you find out it's something much, much darker than you actually thought it was.

So again, I have to, if you have never seen this film, then something is severely wrong.

You've got to remedy that right now, particularly if you are a fan of ghost films, of good haunting films, because this is top notch.

Brian.

I have always loved this movie and, excuse me, it's always hurt my soul when I've been talking to horror fans, die hard, big time horror fans and the subject of good horror films, maybe in general or even more specifically, good haunted house or ghost movies.

And I mentioned the changeling and I get nothing but blank looks and crickets in the background.

And I'm like, oh, Jesus.

I mean, this is a movie that really seemed to have been forgotten.

That's a shame.

I mean, the DVD copy I have is Bare Bones, it's old as dirt.

I mean, there's Blu-rays coming out of some of the most insipid bullshit you can imagine.

Yet this is still some hard to find, out of print, DVD only movie.

That's a travesty.

As Jamie said, this is a film made by adults for adults.

And yeah, I like, I mean, one of my favorite movies of all time is Chopping Mall.

And that movie is about as stupid as you can get, but I love it.

So I can love silly movies and bloody movies and gory movies and hardcore movies and all different types of horror films.

But it seems to be a lost art where horror films are taken seriously.

You know, they're not just made for quick boo scares or blood and guts.

They're really made to scare the hell out of you.

And they do that by mood and by atmosphere and just a hell of a good story and great acting.

Scott owns this movie.

He is straight up pimp in it.

He carries it.

I mean, probably 70% of the movie is just George C.

Scott alone.

There's other actors.

Yeah, there's, you know, secondary actors.

But this movie, it lives and dies by George's performance.

And he just knocks it out of the park.

There's a there's a neat little mystery here.

And I love mysteries, whether there's straight up mystery films or books, or if they're blend in other elements, like in this case, horror.

But in many movies, they have a mystery going on.

It's usually like this.

You don't know anything.

You don't know anything.

You don't know anything.

You don't know anything.

You don't know anything.

Then they'll find the one book or they'll meet the one character that moves all the exposition.

Then you'll have a 10 or 15 minute info dump.

And then boom, and that's crap.

That is lazy.

That is like the worst way to handle that.

Here, there's a good little mystery of what's going on and who did what.

And the information is handed out expertly.

You get a little bit here and then a little bit more and then a little bit more.

And like Jamie said, yeah, there was even some misdirection on who could be the haunt and what's going on and the whole reason behind the ghost.

But it just, this is a very measured film.

It is a very deliberately paced film.

It is just, it's craftsmanship that you just don't see anymore, sadly.

Far too often horror is seen as the quick cash grab that no matter how much, how little money you throw at a film, it's going to make money back.

I mean, that's the Roger Corman way.

And don't get me wrong, I love me some Corman films.

That's the Bloom House way.

And again, I love a lot of Bloom House films.

But nowadays, horror is made for almost the most cynical reasons, because it's profitable.

They don't care about telling a good story or great story, really scaring you.

It's no, we know the elements, we know the formula, A plus B equals C, scary movie equals money.

So they know to put just enough money in where they can get whatever the hell they need, whatever CGI effects they need, and they know that enough kids will go see it, and even if it's a total piece of shit like Ouija, it'll still make money.

That movie made bank, and that movie is horrendous.

And that movie's gonna make a sequel, or I should say they're making a sequel to it.

Movies like this, it just takes a lot more effort, takes a lot more time, takes a lot more skill, and probably a lot more money.

So you just don't see them anymore, and it's a goddamn shame.

But rant aside, this movie is awesome.

It's one of the few movies out there that can legitimately creep me out.

I love horror films, all kinds and flavors, but very few can actually scare me.

Probably I can count them on one hand.

This is one of them.

Just something about it, just the way it works.

It works very well.

So you have a damn good story.

You have good direction.

You have George C.

Scott acting his ass off.

You got good creepy atmosphere.

There is not one bad thing about this entire film.

I love the hell out of it.

And if you have like many fans out there and you've never seen it, you need to.

Track down a copy somewhere and watch it, preferably alone at night.

And it still scare the hell of you.

Yeah, me, The Changeling was the first time I watched for this program forever.

I've never seen it before.

I've always seen the VHS box with, I think there's the balls on the ground and of course, the wheelchair which comes into play in the plot.

And yeah, like you guys say, George C.

Scott runs this movie and he runs it very, very well because nobody can kiddy moat quite like him.

I remember a movie when he introduced me to George C.

Scott was Angus in high school, middle school almost about a fat kid who was good at science and fair football.

And he played his grandfather in this movie.

And I can relate to that kid.

That's why I watched Angus so much as a kid.

So George C.

Scott was kind of like my grandfather in a way.

So if this movie itself, it's very, very spooky like these people said in the house.

The house itself plays a character in the whole film because even the character says when he can't explain the random dings in the night that he hears and we should find out later why you're hearing these things.

It's all connected to what happens and that's just sounds that old houses making claims and that's true because if you're living like an old house, by fight or flight, those houses are going to make old house noises like they're drafty and for whatever reason, these old houses make noises and this one's at least 100 years old probably.

I like the slow burn in this movie.

I don't typically enjoy slow burns usually, but this one, it didn't map it out to like Brian said.

It didn't just give you like one piece of exposition.

It took a lot of time to put it all together, almost like you're unraveling a fine mystery.

But you're doing it piece by piece like it was done in this movie, not just blown up in your face all at once.

What else?

It's just genuinely creepy, the scenes you see, the flashback scenes of, yeah, there's a tub scene in this movie, which is pretty graphic and you don't see it coming all of a sudden.

Like, holy shit, what the fuck is he doing to this kid?

And all of a sudden, that happens and, you know, fuck me up, man, because I didn't see it coming, you know, because all the time you think it's somebody, but it's somebody else and they're waiting for something.

And that was where I was tough with the little soap opera thing, which he could either enjoy or not enjoy.

It's been every kind of soap opera, you know, when of course you have family conflicts and family conspiracies and family theories and what's really going on, that plays a big part in this movie.

And the final conclusion, yeah, it's just genuinely scary.

And I wish I would watch it with lights off at night, but I didn't.

And I watched it on YouTube sitting in my chair, just watching it and enjoying what I was seeing.

And I, well, like you mentioned the score, Jamie, the score is pretty wonderful in this film too.

And that plays a big part in the movie.

I love when scores play a big part in the movie.

This had a great scene in it where, you know, the classic Eddie Murphy delirious line of when something gets haunted at a white folks house, they invite more white folks over.

That happens in this movie in a seance and it's pretty entertaining.

It happens more than you think, people.

You should look up this, how many films, I don't know, porn made this giant list of sex romp pictures.

I love to see a list of films where white folks have a haunting and they invite more and more white folks over list, just like that.

Yeah, the list does go on and on.

For some reason, we feel the need to share our hauntings with other white folks.

I am so glad that you liked this.

It always makes me happy whenever someone watches something for the first time and I and I, something that I love and then they end up liking it.

That makes me happy.

I implore you people, please do not read the comments on Amazon.

I went there earlier to see if it had ever had another release and sadly, there's only the one DVD release and it's the one that we have and it's very basic, but that's the only way you can get it right now.

But I stumbled across several one star ratings while I was there and I was like, well, let me see.

I don't know why I do this to myself.

But so I started reading them and it just, oh, it made me so angry to read what these people had to say.

So I implore you watch the film, but do not go to Amazon and read the reviews.

Of course, most people out there know better than me anyway.

Most people don't do that.

But you know, I try to avoid the IMDB comments and stuff, but you know, whatever.

Sometimes you get sucked in.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I can see, not see myself, I can see why folks would give it the one star rating because those folks didn't strap themselves in for this movie in a way.

You know, I mean, it was just, I don't know, it's just some people were saying just, well, one person actually said the acting was terrible and I don't at all see where they got that.

I don't see where that came from.

They pulled that straight out of their ass.

So that's what I'm saying, don't forget.

Sadly, everybody has an opinion, even morons.

I will say too that I think, and I've always said this, that if you are a fan of Stir of Echoes, then I think you'll like this film because to me, there are several notes that hit the same, but I mean, it's not the same, but I can, I think they would actually be a good double feature.

Well, yeah, I can see that.

But yeah, this film for me was a great first time watch and I know I didn't sing the praises like I should, but it's going to take more sub-sequential watches for me to catch everything and all that good stuff.

But the creepy stuff is creepy.

I love this stuff.

Anything where something is bouncing down the stairs, especially this, I couldn't tell if it was, it's obviously a croquet ball because...

It's a little rubber bouncy ball.

And it bounces down the stairs and then there's a scene where he goes to go throw this in the river because it resembled his daughter's ball.

Obviously these ghosts are fucking with him like they do for this whole movie.

And then the ball comes back.

That's what you know, what they love, they do right away.

You know, the first 12 minutes in, he's playing that piano in the house.

And all of a sudden the key plays by itself and you know something's wrong right away.

But it doesn't happen all at once.

You know?

You know, it doesn't.

It takes time to stretch its legs and that is a good thing, you know?

I think we all need to hone our attention spans a little more.

Something has gone wrong with society that we have such short attention spans these days.

Sit the fuck down.

Settle down.

Relax and enjoy something.

Allow a good story to unfold in front of you and, you know, allow yourself to be sucked in.

You can give something 90 minutes to two hours and, you know, let yourself enjoy it.

It won't hurt you.

Also, no CGI shadowy Spectre bullshit.

Thank the Lord.

If you've seen previews for the new Paranormal Activity movie, now we can debate if the Paranormal Activities are good or not.

The first one, obviously a lot of people liked it.

I'm one of them.

I liked the first movie.

It didn't need any of that.

But goddamn, this next one, they got shadows and ghosts and spirits and Spectres and spooks and haunts and every sort of crap you could think of just dancing in front of the screen the whole time.

Another movie, Guillermo del Toro's Crimson Peaks.

Oh, I hate to say it, but it's true.

Yeah, it breaks my heart.

I love me some del Toro.

He's one of the best directors going nowadays, in my opinion.

And yet I have zero interest in seeing that film.

Because it just looks like shit.

It looks like the only scares are going to be shadowy, spooky CGI haunts.

And you don't need that.

Here is a movie that doesn't have any of that and it's scary as hell.

The technological wizardry is just such a crutch.

Hell, what was that?

The Woman in Black, the Harry Potter kid, his big first non-Harry Potter film.

I really liked that film, except every time the ghost was on the screen.

Everything else about that film was really well done.

It had good atmosphere.

It was well acted.

It had some genuinely creepy moments.

But they had to ruin it with the Nintendo 64 version of a ghost every five seconds.

It's so lazy.

It is so cheap.

Why try to make the audience scared?

Don't worry.

We'll just put it in post.

We'll add a spooky face.

There, done.

Horror movie.

And a musical sting.

Don't forget about the stings.

Oh, but with all that, I guess we'll go into grades now.

Jamie, what are you giving?

No, that is OK.

I love a good rant.

And the rants are good.

Jamie, what are you giving 1 through 10, girl?

This is a 10 for me.

I think this is the way that films should be made.

This is the way ghost stories should be made.

And it is heartbreaking to me that it has been virtually forgotten.

Brian?

Is there any doubt?

Is there any question?

It's a 10.

I don't think there's anything about this movie I would change.

It is a gem.

And yeah, it's a crying shame that more people out there just don't know it.

I remember seeing the VHS box very prominently, I remember seeing it around, I remember hearing much, much about it.

But I think the plot synopsis kind of turned me away.

If you read the plot synopsis of the film, you get the brain span of a 15-year-old boy, it might not turn you on so much.

But you know, like Martin, with an adult brain, you could sit still, you're not so ADD all of a sudden.

And you could enjoy life and enjoy a film like this.

But since this is the first time I've watched it, I didn't catch everything, I'm sure.

I might have to subsequently give it an 8.

And something against the film, it's just I need to watch it again to catch more stuff.

That is a very solid score.

I don't apologize for that.

I think that's a very strong score.

And I think, honestly, you were probably, it was probably a good thing that you didn't watch it at 15 because you probably wouldn't have liked it very much.

And then that may have colored the way you viewed it now.

Well, probably.

I mean, Martin was tainted to me, but it didn't hurt my viewing of it this time around.

So that the, yeah, the different eyes, different eyes always helps, you know.

But let me say, you know, if you are a younger listener out there, don't let that stop you.

I did see this at a very young age, but I came across it one night.

It was on cable.

I didn't know anything about it.

I was alone because my mom was working.

I was a latchkey cat boohoo for me.

And so I just put it on and scared the living hell out of me.

So if, you know, if you're open to it, if you're not ADD riddled, if you don't want shiny keys jingled in front of your face for the whole length of an entire film, if you want something that is truly scary, then give it a shot.

I'm betting you'll like it.

And no, you may not taste as subjective, but this is just, this is high quality stuff here.

This is people making a film who gave a damn and not just doing it for a paycheck.

Let me tell you this, if you have a sound system, then crank that sucker up and you will definitely feel it.

When the banging starts, I mean, it just shivers straight up your spine.

You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about, yes.

Thank And now some messages from CourtSyops, Ricky Morgan and Brian M.

Sammons, respectively, coming up next, right now, if you will.

Leave.

What's up, everybody at Cinema Beef?

This is Cord over at Cinema PsyOps.

Holy fuck, three years, man?

Are you serious?

That's fucking awesome.

Congratulations.

I know everybody hasn't been there all the time or what have you, but I know, Gary, you've been putting this out for three years, so congratulations, man, on that perseverance.

And Jamie and also X, you guys are doing great work with them now.

I think this is the ultimate version of the cast.

I wouldn't change it for the world.

You guys are all great together, and I think it works perfectly.

You guys are triumphant, triumvirate, if you will.

Absolutely excellent.

Now, speaking of the threes, you wanted the three greatest film beefs.

Well, first of all, remakes in name only.

Seriously, are you just buying the name because it's already a known product, and dumb fucks will line up in the theaters to go see it?

Well, of course you are.

That's exactly why you're doing it.

It's a brazen money grab.

And go fuck yourself, because some of us actually like those original movies, and you should have just re-released them if you wanted to do a money grab.

Piss off.

That leads me to my next one, Michael Bay and His Goddamn Bablosians.

Speaking about remakes in name only, or just adopting franchises that already have a popular name, yeah, no duh, it's gonna make money, you popcorn-making motherfucker.

Your movies suck, you suck, and stop being so full of yourself, Michael Bay.

I'm looking at you, and I ain't happy.

And last but not least, romantic comedies.

Look, we know people fall in love.

We know that sometimes hilarious things happen when people fall in love, but romantic comedies get it 100% wrong.

I've never seen any romantic comedy that fully really applies to any loving situation.

In anything ever.

They all suck.

They're all stupid.

And really, they're only there to rake in money for girls or women or even men who just want to feel what it feels like to fall in love for the first time over and over again.

They're formulaic, they're boring as shit, and I hate them because my personal romance story with my wife is the greatest story I'll ever need to hear about how two people can fall in love.

So fuck you, Hollywood, and stop pumping that bullshit down our throats.

Last but not least, I think the film that affected or shaped the way that I watch films to this day, now this is going to be a weird one, but Living in Oblivion, led by Steve Buscemi, it gave me a very early look at how films are made in the independent world behind the scenes, and I gotta say, it shaped the way I looked at movies because I started thinking about how they made them, what choices they were making in the writing, what they were trying to say, and all the shenanigans and weird shit that happens behind the scenes.

It did sort of shape it.

I haven't seen the movie in quite a few years, but I remember really enjoying it and liking it a lot.

One of those things that I happened to catch on IFC as a kid, so it really shaped the way that I looked at movies ever since then.

So there you go.

Hope my list helps, and again, congratulations on three years, guys.

That's fucking amazing.

Awesome work.

Later.

Hey, guys.

This is Rick from the Helming Power Hour.

Just want to congratulate you guys on three years.

Really enjoy listening to Cinema Beef.

Any show that's got a clip from Phantom of the Paradise, I'm automatically a fan.

So Gary reached out and asked me to put a little something together to send to you guys in celebration and wanted three film beefs.

Well, as you know, here at Helming, we don't do anything normal.

So I've got these sound bites I'm going to give to Gary, and he can decide to use them or not.

But there's some beefs I have.

I think you'll see a common thread in those.

As far as a film Rage Quit, I would almost have to say I've never really walked out of a film, but the one that came really, really close was A Knight's Tale.

The movie just felt funky the whole way through.

I know it's some sort of cult classic now, but I'm a big fan of the medieval type movies, and this one just ruined it for me, especially when he got stuck in the arm with the jousting experience.

He can't use his arm, so he switches to the other arm, and then after he meets the guy, he jumps over a rail using the arm that was damaged, so that just kind of threw it for me.

As far as movies that shaped the way that I watch films now, I have to go all the way back to the first Evil Dead movie.

I think it was the first movie where I realized how a person can make a movie on their own.

It didn't seem like it had to be a big Hollywood production, so it really made me look at things from a different angle of trying to figure out exactly how he did all the camera shots.

I'm talking about Sam Raimi.

All those angles and stuff just blew my mind.

From that point on, I used Sam Raimi as basically a measuring stick and looking at other shows and stuff.

Anyways, guys, great show.

I love it.

Hope you have many more years.

Hey, Gary, X and Jamie.

This is Brian Sammons from the ABCs of Hidden Horror, Evil Episodes and Dark Regions Radio.

I wanted to call to say congrats to all of you for your three-year anniversary.

That's impressive.

I haven't been doing the podcasting thing for quite that long.

I don't know if I will be.

So I am in awe of all of you that you have the tenacity and fortitude to continue to do it for such a long time.

I've enjoyed your show from the beginning, from when I started listening to it till now.

And I wanted to say thanks for having me on an occasion.

And you all can go to hell for making me watch some truly horrible films when you guys cover some real stinkers.

Because if Jamie watches them, then I do.

So thanks.

Thanks for that.

Anyway, you had asked me some questions to share some of my thoughts and insights on a few things.

So here we go.

You asked me, what was my three greatest film beefs?

Well, okay, the first one would be Exposition Bombs.

I hate it when everything in a movie just stops dead.

So one or two characters can just have a conversation and give you all the information you need to get you up to speed, to have you catch up, and just everything grinds to a halt.

And then they have their little conversation and then it's like, okay, well, we can go back to, you know, the actual movie now.

There are so many better ways of doing that.

All information or if not all, the vast majority of it can be told as the movie progresses.

Exposition is telling, not showing, and it is just aggravating as all hell.

In real life doesn't work that way.

Another beef of mine is unlikable characters, especially in horror films.

These are the people I'm supposed to care about when the killer is chasing them around, trying to chop them up into kibble, or when the monster is trying to eat their face off or anything like that.

And yet you give me total reprehensible douchebags?

Pieces of crap I would not stop to piss on if they were on fire?

And I'm supposed to care what happens to them?

No, that's a fail.

And this happens more and more and more in just a whole bunch of modern horror films.

In the old classics from the 70s and 80s, there were always jerk characters.

There was one or two in every film, but the rest of the cast was supposed to be likeable.

You were supposed to care about them.

I don't know why everything has now flipped and just everybody is an asshole.

The third thing that really pisses me off is another modern film contrivance, and that is Muted or Monochromatic Color Palette.

The more modern films I watch, the more I see this, the more it aggravates me.

And you can take an otherwise semi-decent or good film.

It may have a good plot, some good direction, some decent acting, and then it just gets ruined because everything has one color, or the color correction is abused to such a degree, it becomes laughable.

There is a movie we watched recently called Dark Was the Night, and every scene, every single scene outside was blue, comically blue, not just a little blue to impart cold.

It was like they painted the lens blue.

Every single scene inside was piss yellow.

And then at the end, they alternated between red and green.

So essentially, there was four colors in this entire film.

And it was such a poor, poor decision that it distracted me.

The movie might have been good, I don't know, but just I hated watching it.

The act of watching it angered me.

When your movie visually assaults me to such a degree like that, you have failed.

Speaking of movies that have failed, you wanted to know my greatest film, Rage Quit.

What movie drove me to the brink where I said, ah, screw it and walked off or turned it off.

Actually, not too many and not by my own volition.

Unfortunately, Jamie doesn't allow me to rage quit movies all that much.

Oh, I would.

I'm a firm believer that if I give movie, let's say a half an hour, and I'm not liking it, then the whole rest of the movie could be pure gold.

The ending could be amazing.

But if you got to slog through all that shit to get to it, it's not worth it.

That's a bad film.

Great ending or not, it's not worth it.

But once Jamie starts a movie, she wants to watch it to the end, see my previous comments about you guys making me suffer.

Recently, the two most egregious offenders of that was a horror film called Headless, which was about a guy who liked to get women, chopped their heads off, skull fucked them, rinse, repeat, over and over and over and over and over again.

After about a half hour, I knew everything that movie was trying to tell me and it just didn't stop.

More recent than that, and much more horrible, is a little turd called Hashtag Horror.

This movie angered me.

It hurt me deep in my soul.

It was one of the most pretentious pieces of shit I've seen in a long time.

It was the very definition of style over substance.

And let's get something clear right here.

The style was crapped and there was zero substance.

This movie is just, it offended me in a personal level.

I hate, hate, hate that film.

And yet, I watched it to the end, so maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

Last but not least, a film that I think shaped the way I watch films today.

Well, Friday the 13th, part four, I don't think shaped the way I watch films, but it was my gateway drug to horror.

It is literally a movie that changed me.

It is a film that made me the person I am today.

It is the chief reason I am in love with all things horror.

So that's why that movie will always have a special place in my heart.

And very few films affect people like that.

But it honestly was a life changer for me.

As far as how I watch films today, I think the thing that influences me the most is not necessarily other films, but it's my profession.

I'm a storyteller by trade.

I'm a writer.

And so now plot is so important to me when I watch films.

Because I'll rail about bad characters or stupid decisions, or I hate when characters act stupidly just for the sake of plot to progress the story.

They will do stuff that previously they would not do, that no sane individual would do, but damn it, we need them to get from A to B, so no matter what, we're going to bludgeon them until they get there.

The structure of a story and being true to it is very important to me.

If you can't stay true to a story and have your movie work, then don't tell that story.

Do something else.

Don't try to cheat it.

Don't think we won't know, because we will.

So now I'm maybe hyper sensitive to that.

I'm always aware of, you know, the written word behind the images on the screen.

Well, that's it for me.

Again, congrats to all of you on your amazing anniversary, and please do keep the shows coming.

I'll keep listening.

Thanks again.

Bye.

All right, guys, we've heard a lot of other folks' beefs now and all that good stuff.

Let's hear from us now.

This should be a lot of fun.

I'm gonna start with my friend, X here.

Give us your three greatest film beefs, sir, for to jump off here.

You know, and this is beefs of all time, because I figured, why the fuck not?

So, okay.

My first biggest film beef is the trailer for Blade Runner.

Now, you gotta understand, because when my buddy Todd Elliott and I were like 12, 13 years old, that's when Blade Runner came out, and of course, being that age, we were horny pretty much all the time.

It feels like it.

That's what happens when you're 12 or 13, right?

You're just like this big container of hormones, and you just do whatever you can to feed that desire to see or touch something, whatever.

But we saw the trailer for Blade Runner while we were watching another movie, and we were really excited because there's this one part in the trailer where Harrison Ford says to Sean Young, do you love me?

Undress me.

Now, I know that's not the line.

That's not the line, but that's what the line was in the trailer, I swear to God.

Which version of that fucking movie was that?

This is like the original theatrical cut.

This is like when it first came out back in 81.

So, you know, we saw the trailer, we thought, oh, this is going to be amazing because not only is this like a really cool looking sci-fi movie, but it's going to be full of hot future sex.

And so we sneaked into it when it came out.

We sneaked into it.

We sneaked into Blade Runner and I don't know, I guess we were like maybe expecting a smarter version of Galaxena and we did not get that.

It was a great movie, but it's really light on the boning.

But here's the thing, I'm still convinced that they changed the line in the trailer as part of some fucked up marketing scheme for a movie that was way too smart for its time.

It's kind of like the phrase, place your bets.

Not the movie people.

They didn't know what the hell to do with that movie.

I mean, the narration, come on.

Yes, I don't put a pass on to try to lure people in to see this really smart movie by promising that you'll get to see fucking Sean Young and Harrison Ford stooping in a dusty room.

So, I don't know, it still makes me angry because I feel like they advertised falsely to my impressionable wide-eyed pubescent self.

And, you know, even though I love that movie now, like you said, I've got, what, six versions of it on my DVD shelf, but I don't know.

There's no sex in the Void Confirm, and I'm very disappointed by that.

Confession Time?

Yeah.

Eighty-five percent of that movie is boring as shit to me, and it hurts it.

So, you know, I'm not a huge fan of Blade Runner.

I'm just throwing it out there.

That's why the thought of a Blade Runner sequel.

Sometimes I think there's something fundamentally wrong, Gary.

I just, I'm just bored, right?

Maybe I watched it at the wrong time or something.

I just, I just never went back to it.

And never went back to it.

The whole Cronenberg remark that you made earlier, now this, there's something seriously wrong.

Yeah, something's going on here, man.

I think eventually on the last episode of The Beef, we're just gonna start throwing shit at each other, like fucking primates, stuff like that, you know.

No, you're wrong.

Fuck you.

We're just gonna get to my beefs.

God damn, you guys are gonna shit.

I don't know, man.

God, just something I never really enjoyed all that much.

I mean, the parts of Rutger Hauer were fun.

Rutger Hauer.

Rutger Hauer.

Rutger Hauer for fun.

Darryl Hannah was hot.

Sean Young was not in stripes.

I wasn't a huge fan, but, you know, to each their own, you know.

Yeah, I just didn't like all that much.

And I need to watch it again, apparently, to try to fix that and not be so bored and, you know, whatever.

But next beef, sir.

Maybe.

Maybe now that's up to you.

The next beef is one Jamie already knows about because we've discussed it at length, but Friday the 13th, part two is the worst horror sequel of all time.

I don't know if you want to get into this tonight, Jamie.

Just let me just go for it.

We're talking about this.

I raged off.

Off the air.

I'm kind of chill right now, so you can go ahead.

I have blue wax and steam.

I enjoy the Friday the 13th franchise, but I'm kind of like of two minds about it, just because when I look at it from my point of view, which I feel to be rational, I know everyone thinks their point of view is rational, but I'm of course correct.

Those movies should not exist.

There's no way that that's even possible.

Jason is dead.

He is a child when he's dead.

So him showing up at Alice's house at the beginning, you know, wearing fucking combat boots is silly.

I don't know.

To me, the whole thing revolves around the fact that I think Jenny kind of dreamed him back to life and made him appear again and kill a bunch of people.

And I just think that that's stupid.

So I don't think rationally that franchise shouldn't even exist.

Now, if they had gone ahead and made Alice the killer, like they were originally going to for the sequel, that would have been cool because she's really little.

And I kind of want to see her, you know, holding a machete or a katana like a lot.

But no, the whole thing was Jason and all the other theories about it.

No, like if he hadn't, no, maybe he didn't really drown.

He watched his mother being murdered.

That's bullshit because why would he stay in the fucking forest for goddamn, you know, what, 20, 22 years and just ramble himself?

I just.

Well, I can't really argue with any of that.

I mean, I have said for a long time, I wanted to make a fan film called Friday the 13th, 1.5.

That basically details Jason's traveling to Alice's house because, I mean, what did he deliver up in the phone book?

How the fuck did he find her in GPS?

Is he like going to local stores, holding up a drawing that he made of her going with her?

You know, can he read?

It makes not one lick of sense and I cannot argue with that.

I just think it's a fun movie to me, but it really is logistically, no.

I've used this argument before, okay.

I call him my Tomax in the Zam Mock Theory because, you know, he feels as his brother feels.

Maybe when, you know, this is where he's had her head cut off, you know, that small time where she could still see.

Maybe she was looking through the eyes of Jason and then he saw his killer and then knew what she knew about this person.

And then, you know, I'm just I'm just spit fire in here, you know, but I need I need an explanation.

What kind of original Star Trek series bullshit is that?

That's GI.

Joe, Tomax and Zam Mock, okay?

Tomax?

I thought that was like an athlete's foot medicine.

I didn't know what that was.

It's Tomax in reverse.

And those are the those are the those are the Cobra Crimson Twins.

And the gag is when one would get hit, the other brother would feel the pain.

Did Jimmy Hart manage them?

He should have, you know.

OK, so they were the Corsican brothers anyway.

Yes, they were much cooler, more debonair.

That's that's that wasn't hard.

And nobody likes the Corsican brothers.

OK, yeah, nobody does.

That was horrible.

I have one last beef.

And it is the entire Paranormal Activity franchise.

What is this?

Only in America will we pay good money to sit inside a theater and watch surveillance footage waiting for a payoff.

And we'll begin it.

It's cabinets opening.

No shit.

This fucking happened.

I love the first one.

No.

Why don't we just call it Going to Ikea?

Oh, no.

The first one is scary.

I mean, I don't know.

I saw it three times in theater.

Yeah.

And well, it was because I went.

I watched it here.

I watched it at home.

And then I went to New York.

And while I was in New York, I was with some friends and they wanted to go see it.

And then somehow I saw it for the first time.

But anyway, it was watching the audience react to it.

It was just, it was incredible to me.

It was a really fun experience.

The first time I saw it, you know what scared me the most out of that movie was that one scene in the middle of the night where suddenly the hall light flips on.

And then a couple seconds later, it flips back off.

That freaked me out more than anything.

That was the one thing that stuck in my mind.

It just freaked me out.

And there's not even anything dangerous about that or, you know, like, ooh, the hall light.

But it just, I don't know, it just freaks me out.

Thinking about all the shit that can be happening when you're not aware of it, when you're sleeping.

You know, I don't know.

I mean, I dig it.

They did get stupid.

It turned into this weird story arc about, you know, like bad adoptions and kidnappings and that Latino coven of naked women with horcruxes and Xboxes.

It's just, it's a shambles.

Horcruxes.

And you know what?

And that's the best one of the series, I think, because no one's seen The Ghost Dimension and never got a real proper release.

We saw it.

Did you?

I don't even think it showed up here.

I made him, because I had seen all the other paranormal activities in the theater, even though I hated the fourth one, I was OK with the marked ones.

And then I was like, well, I've seen them all.

I'll have to see this one.

And Brian's like, ah, he didn't want to go.

And then it was so bad.

It's so bad.

Like, really, really fucking bad.

I mean, because the biggest mistake you could make in a movie like that is trying to show the ghost.

And that's exactly what this movie was all about.

It was showing the ghost.

Stupid.

I'll get into that when I get into my beef, see?

See, and the thing is, I think The March Ones is probably the best one of the series.

But even that reminded me a lot of, you ever see Stay Proud with Robbie Benson?

It reminded me a lot of that, where he plays like a Latino gang member, and it's Robbie Benson.

Fuck you, what?

Anyway, yeah, I just don't understand how they made a friggin, is it five movie arc out of this?

Because to me, it's as entertaining as being the security guard at a bank.

Six if you count The March Ones.

Oh my goodness, okay.

Because it's between four and five.

And I like The March Ones too.

I really thought that was, it's really cool things, and it was a little bit different from the other ones.

Yeah, it's just hard to parse together into one coherent story.

And maybe it's not a coherent story.

Maybe it's just, you know, six movies about cabinet refinishing.

I don't know.

Well, the last one does attempt to wrap everything up.

It's just, so if you get the opportunity to like, if you fall into it, then I would say watch it just because you've seen all the other ones and you see how they attempt to wrap everything up.

And I am a completist.

I will watch it, unfortunately.

Anyway, yeah, those are my beef.

I skipped Resurrection for a long time, so I'm OK.

You know, how was Resurrection?

It's OK that you did that.

How could you resist Busta Bust?

Because, you know, Flip Road is the greatest.

He's got you all in check.

He does.

What is your three greatest film beefs, girl?

OK, well, you know, I...

Apparently, I misunderstood the assignment.

Because I was thinking like film beefs in general, like what you hate in film.

I got a lot of that too in the messages, so it's OK.

But that's OK because while we were talking, I quickly figured it out because it's really not that hard for me.

I mean, there are things that stick out that I've always hated and I knew what they were right away.

So starting that off, we have Aliens, which is really no secret how I feel about that movie.

I'm not a fan.

And I think that it is serviceable as an action film, even though I really hate the characters.

And Brian made me watch The Director's Cut a while back.

He likes it a lot, but he made me watch The Director's Cut and I didn't think I was ever going to make it through that.

I mean, oh my God, it was such a jerk-off movie.

I'm like, Cameron, you can suck it.

I'm just, ugh, ugh, don't do that.

Like, even if you like the movie, don't watch The Director's Cut.

Jesus Christ.

But the reason that I have such an irk in that film is very simple.

It's very simple.

It's because Alien is one of my all-time favorite horror films.

And I think it's incredibly scary.

And I think, you know, what was created along with, I mean, apart from the acting and the direction and the story, you've got Jerry Goldsmith's amazing score that just brought the whole thing to life.

It got me when I was little.

For years, I couldn't eat spaghetti after that whole dinner table scene.

And it affected me.

And even now watching it, when we're watching the whole crawling through the air ducts and you're watching the blips on the monitor thing, to me that is one of the most frightening moments in my history.

It is so incredibly effective.

I love it.

And then for Cameron to come along and turn this amazing horror film, turn the sequel to that into just a big blum of action movie, it just pissed me off.

It really did because it makes me angry.

And I really just don't like the characters.

The dialogue is bad, I think, and I just don't enjoy it at all.

And I like action films.

I don't have anything against action films.

I love action films, all kinds of action films.

But for that one in particular, I just don't like it at all, maybe a little bit.

So there's that.

Another one, and it's very similar, and people have probably heard me talk about this one, too, is Evil Dead 2.

And everyone loves Evil Dead 2.

I'm like the only person in the world that doesn't love Evil Dead 2.

And I got so pissed off the other day because there was a list on YouTube of sequels that are better than the original, and they named Evil Dead 2, and I was just wanted to just, oh, they also named Aliens.

And that list made me want to set things on fire.

I'm like, even if you like Aliens, even if you really, really, really like that film, how can you possibly say it's better than Alien?

I just don't understand.

I don't think Evil Dead 2 is better than Evil Dead 1.

I always thought of Evil Dead 2 as Evil Dead 1 on a budget.

If you mean, with a budget, I mean.

Yeah, and I see that, but also Evil Dead, Evil Dead is scary to me.

It's like a legitimately frightening film.

And I kept, after we watched that as kids, I kept my best friend up many nights, like doing that whole laughter thing, you know, like, or doing the car-counting thing, and she would not be able to sleep, and I had a great deal of fun with that.

To me, it was legitimately frightening.

And Evil Dead 2 just tosses every bit of that out the window for a bunch of slapstick.

And I don't have a problem with slapstick in general, but that slapstick gets old really fast to me and gets really boring.

And I get very sick of it really fast.

And it's probably because I love the original so much and it's so different.

But oddly enough, I love Army of Darkness, so I don't know, figure that out.

It's just, I think by the time we got to Army of Darkness, I was ready, I had reconciled with it.

But because Evil Dead was so frightening to me, when I was really excited when Evil Dead 2 was coming out, I still have the issue of Bangoria with Evil Dead 2.

And I was super, super excited.

I read that, I don't have the original one that I had.

I got a reprint of it.

But the original one was shredded because I read it front to back so many times.

And I was just so incredibly excited about that movie coming out.

And then when it did, I was so angry because it was so different from the first one.

And then, you know, we did a lot of things from the first one.

I didn't like the way it was done, that it didn't like the things that were cut out and the things that were added.

I just didn't like it.

So, bleh.

And then the other one is High Tension.

And I loved the movie up until the very last bit.

And then I want to drive over to Alexander Aj's house and slap him in the face.

Because I feel like what he had was a beautifully put together, really organically violent film.

And it was very visceral.

And you have this fantastic character that was just so grizzly.

I don't know.

I love the way it played out.

I love everything about it.

And then I just can't get past the fact that the whole thing was tacked onto me.

Every time I've seen it, I try to see past it.

I've tried to see ways, or, you know, places where it looks like it was planned from the beginning, and I just can't find it.

I just don't see it.

To this day, it's been so tacked on and so made up that it just pisses me off.

Because I think if he had left that part, if he'd left the ending out, then that would be a perfect film.

Like, I would have no issue with it.

To me, it's like you're driving along in the Autobahn and you're going super fast.

You're going as fast as you want because it's fucking Autobahn and no one can tell you what to do.

And the wind is blowing through your hair and you're having a fantastic time and then suddenly you drive off a fucking cliff.

That's what it feels like to me.

And I'm not shitting on Mr.

Hitchcock at all, but I've always resented the end of Psycho for a lot of reasons.

Not the very end, but the end where you get five minutes of them talking about why Norman is the way he is.

I didn't need that in Psycho, and I don't apologize for it either.

Well, I don't, and I see that, but I think 1960 audiences may have needed that.

Most of those people back then didn't know or didn't know that.

Yeah, but still, I just kind of resented it for that.

Even today, I kind of resented it for that.

The tacked-out ending of High Tension, it was mentioned by somebody else that sent us a message.

Uh-huh.

Hey, we're lesbians, and I'm badly in love with you, so I kill everybody.

Yeah.

And I totally get what you're saying.

Even if they felt it was necessary for the audience to psycho, to me, that has always been a very clumsy exposition.

But to be fair...

I love the film, but...

There are better Hitchcock films than Psycho in this humble podcaster's opinion, you know?

I agree with that.

I love it.

I love it.

But there are better Hitchcock films in that movie.

X has been really quiet during all of my dumping here.

I really like all those movies that you don't.

I knew if you don't speak up, then you're just not agreeing with me.

I don't like James Cameron as a director or a human being, frankly.

I don't either.

No, he's just a pretentious bastard ass.

But I really...

A bastard ass.

I really enjoyed the characters in Aliens so much that I named my kid after one of them.

Oh, that's right.

Ouch, I'm sorry.

No, it's cool.

You don't have to like the movie or my kid.

I do.

I also really like...

I have a high tension shirt that I wear often.

I do.

I just don't like...

I didn't take it felt tacked on.

I really didn't.

And come on, we've had a lot of movies where somebody was repressed that have ended up being the killer.

I mean, it's a trope.

I realize that, but I didn't...

I didn't think it was...

I just don't think if you go...

I just don't...

No, I just think if you go back through the film, it doesn't fit.

There are so many things that have happened throughout the film.

To me, it just doesn't blend.

It doesn't fit.

It doesn't work.

I just don't see it being believable.

That's kind of the thing.

This is kind of like dead at 10 Cloverfield Lane, and I have my hands up against the side of my head when I say this, because aliens.

You know, I just seem to be attacked out of either, too, you know?

It's true.

But you know what, though?

I mean, I agree with you to an extent about Evil Dead 2, although don't get me wrong, I fucking love that movie.

But it took me a long time.

But it took me a long time to get to where I could because I was like you.

The first time I saw Evil Dead, I was horrified.

It really freaked me out.

And I saw Evil Dead 2 in the theater when it came out, and I was like, why is this a three stooges movie?

What's with the eye poking and the boinking and the waka waka?

I don't know what's going on.

So it took me a few, you know, it took me a few watches to really understand what he was trying to do.

And I'm not sure I still fully understand it, but it's one of those movies to me that you kind of understand it on a subconscious level without like dialogue or things that you would normally use in film.

So I understand it.

I understand it.

I like this very base level.

And that's where I really, that's why I really enjoy it, because I don't have to think about it.

I don't have to.

I don't care what your Canadian demon it is.

I'm just like, look at that shit.

That's crazy.

How big is this cabin?

So yeah, I really, I really enjoy it on that line.

But at the same time, I think you're, you know, your opinions well, well put, and I can't really fault it too much.

So I respect your opinion.

But yay for the Cameron Haight, because I'm not, I am not a, I like Terminator and I like The Abyss.

But Cameron, as I'm a whole, oh my god.

And then of course, I guess if you guys heard that they're planning on four sequels to, what the fuck is that?

Avatar.

Pocahontas.

That's what I'm course.

Avatar.

Avatar, yeah.

Four.

I never saw Avatar.

I don't want to see Avatar.

I don't need to see Avatar.

To be honest, I never did either.

And everyone's like, you need to, I'm like, no, one, I don't like Cameron.

Two, I don't give a shit about the spectacle of it all.

And I really don't.

And I knew the story.

And I was like, that story has been, it was firm gully, you know?

And so basically, it was just, I'm going to use the story that has been told many, many times, and I'm going to show you just how amazing I am with the special effects.

But I don't need that.

And I don't like the man.

I don't like the man's movies.

Titanic is one of the veins of my existence.

I just, I don't need it.

So I damn sure I wasn't going to support it.

Titanic is just...

Not like he needs me.

Yeah, yeah, he doesn't need me.

He's got millions of lonely housewives, you know, paying to see Titanic.

Oh, I wish I could have a cute little lover that would fucking just freeze to death and die.

And I could wave goodbye to him.

But he drew me like one of his French girls.

And now I've got this fucking diamond I need to throw back in the ocean for no goddamn reason.

I'm sorry, did Kate Winslet and Leonardo seem very mismatched at that point in his life?

To me, he just seemed really young for her.

I never thought they were believable.

Plus, I love Billy Zane and that whole thing.

I was like, Billy Zane!

But it's Billy Zane and he's got money.

The only good part about a Zoolander, too, was Billy Zane, I'm sorry.

Billy Zane is the only good thing in a lot of movies.

That's why we watch Demon Knight a lot.

Yes, because it's awesome, too.

Yes.

Best use of Hey Man Nice Shot ever, you know.

Yarp.

Yarp.

But my beef style, this is going to get controversial.

But one of my beefs, not directly, is the very first Scream.

Because I don't think it's a very good movie.

I like the first Scream.

I just hate the stuff that begat Scream.

But you cannot blame Scream for what came after.

I'm a firm believer in...

I'm a firm believer in the Ian Malcolm theory of...

They never thought that...

I forgot how the line goes.

And if I probably should remember, I've seen Jurassic Park like 14 times.

At least, they never thought if they could, but why they should.

You know, Scream happened.

And then the stuff that begat Scream.

Like I said, I hate non-Scream.

The stuff that begat Scream.

It's related to Scream, though.

Are you saying Scream switched genders, and then we got the Prom Night remake?

Yeah, yeah.

Although I do love Brittany Snow, so I'm torn.

Um, yeah, I know what you did last summer, and I'm one of the biggest Sarah Michelle Gellar fans, you know, and I didn't need that.

I didn't need Valentine.

Urban Legend I like, though.

Urban Legend was fair.

Yeah, I like that.

There was a couple of good ones that came out of that, and I would say that most of the screen sequels are a waste of time, in my opinion, you know.

I tried to watch them again recently, you know.

I don't know if the scary movie films took something away from that, because that tends to happen with me.

I can't watch Boys in the Hood with a straight face anymore because of Don't Be a Menace While Drinking Your Juice and Whoever in the Hood, wherever that way and Brother's Joint was, you know.

I can't watch with a straight face anymore just because of that movie.

Just like every time I see the scene where they're getting the gun out of the bathroom tub and into the Godfather, all I can think about is Jay Moore pulling random guns out of the thing and not being his, and then just gets covered with water.

And then in that mafia movie, the Zucker movie.

I had a Christina Applegate.

Yes, that one is.

Yeah, it's just the stuff that came after it.

Really, I think it hurt the genre.

And not, you know, in a real bad way.

I think it hurt the genre.

Because I hear people talk about how the 90s wasn't a real good time for horror.

But if you look at horror pre-1996, leading up to Scream, there were some real good gems in there.

And I think they're fucking bullshit.

Yeah, but it was few and far between.

And we weren't going to find anything good being released theatrically.

And the ones that were were disguised as thrillers.

No one wanted to use the H-word back then.

Scream made that happen again.

Oh, I'm not hating on Scream.

It's just the stuff that came after Scream.

And it's not their fault.

But if you look at the stuff that came out up to Scream from the 90s, and the stuff that came after Scream, I'm a big fan of Disturbed Behavior, but it is a remake of Dead Kids.

I've watched it recently, and I really enjoyed that a lot more than Disturbed Behavior.

Although, whatever.

I'm not going to say anything right about 90s horror.

It's just one of those things where the stuff that came after really kind of took me out of it.

UV is my favorite thing about Disturbed Behavior.

UV and Katie Holmes.

This is dark.

Yeah, it just kind of took me out of it.

It's one of those things where I just felt a little sulky as a horror fan.

But when that other garbage started to come out, I'm not a fan of the faculty.

It was the late 90s.

Everyone was sulky.

I wasn't that kind of kid.

God, I was sulky in the late 90s, and I was in my 30s.

I mean, just a lot of pretty people in these films, and people complained about the Carrier Remake, the one that came out with Chloe Moretz.

Oh, they were all so pretty.

I was one of those people.

But they were not really bitching about those other films that they came out to stream.

Like I know what you did last summer, where it was full of pretty people.

I was like, oh, you almost don't want nothing to happen to them, but this is a horror film, folks, and stuff needs to happen to them.

I want bad things to happen to them more.

I was going to say, I don't think I ever have I ever said, I don't want bad things to happen to pretty people.

Yeah, I never said, please don't hurt the pretty people.

I don't know what you're going to tell them, but we got those pretty people.

But that's the audience.

You got the audience that's over here, which is you guys, who's like kill all the motherfuckers.

And then you got the people, you know, and now, here I go again, talk the shit about the horror genre again.

Those other people who watched The Walking Dead, that they dumped it down for, you know, those people who don't want the pretty people to die.

Influencing the decisions of the writers and the other producers and the people that make the movies for that genre, to say, you know, okay, we're going to have this in there, but we're not going to include this because, you know what, it didn't do well with test audiences.

So we're not going to kill this person off here, we're going to leave this person alive, or whatever, what have you, because that does influence decisions of what happens in certain kinds of movies.

And that is unfortunate, but you know, and that is why Channing Tatum died, like 30 minutes into that GI.

Joe sequel, which is a film I enjoy, but you know, c'est la vie, you know.

Oh, not because Channing Tatum died.

I think that Channing Tatum is a fair actor.

If you want to watch a good movie with Channing Tatum, watch The Guide to Recognize New Saints and The Kid's Got Chops.

I'll say it all day long.

I'm still laughing at JB.

Segan, Robbie Neville in the background.

Thank you for picking that up.

Second film, Beef, would be, this is a film, I guess like a childhood torture thing to me, would be the film Dirty Dancing.

This is a film that my sister watched a lot when I was younger.

Me and my sister are three years apart, so when she was like nine years old when that came out, I was six, so that's a huge age gap.

People say, watch this, but this is a film about, in case you haven't seen Dirty Dancing, about a family who goes to this resort, not if they're going on vacation or not, but whatever.

Basically about this guy, Johnny, played by Patrick Swayze, the Swayze is those boys from Chewing It with Kevin and Steve.

They love that guy at that show.

I love them too, but not in the kind of gay way they love them.

He has eyes for this super young girl played by Jennifer Gray.

It's almost like a weird molestation tale to me.

I've always thought of it like that, even when I was younger.

Why is this older dude going for this younger chick?

I wonder why poor old Jerry Orbach is not mad at him.

I'd be a little upset too as a father, but the film itself became a phenomena.

Phenomena.

I can't help these things.

They do it all the time.

Brian does that every time I say the word phenomena.

He does that every time.

So does Cudi.

Thanks for that.

He just did it just now.

That's true love right there.

He overheard me and he's over there.

It's just a film that never grabbed me by genre, by taste.

I think just because I was tortured with it for half my life.

Probably because you were a nine year old boy.

Past nine years old, Jamie.

Oh boy, in general.

It's not really a boy movie.

It's kind of like the uncle that touched you.

You never forget that kind of thing.

I just know, I get bad feels whenever I see it on.

Like no, don't play it again.

It's bad.

I've never seen it.

And that's because I've learned how to avoid things that I think are going to hurt me.

And I think watching dirty dancing would physically cause me pain.

Don't you ever just want to watch these things to have them in your lexicon though?

No, because at this point, they're in everyone's lexicon, so I don't really need to appropriate it.

I figure if I know enough to say, don't, you know, nobody puts a baby in a corner, I don't actually have...

You get TV Guide, you don't need the TV.

Ah, yes.

So if I know enough to fake my way through it, I never have to watch that piece of shit.

And it's not like I'm trying to fake it.

I just...

you hear it all the time, but because it's already part of everyone's lexicon, so now I just, you know, body snatcher it and play along.

I guess my third biggest beef, and this is about the horror genre in general, that when they tag the master of horror or the, you know, king of horror or whatever of horror on a director who really has earned it, I'm not a big fan of...

I watch him, but I don't love Eli Roth like some people do.

Yeah, he made like four films all of a sudden.

He was a master of horror.

Yeah, but of those four films, how many of them were actually good?

I'd say a good one and a half if you had to piece them all together.

And that's not a very good ranking to call yourself a master of horror.

I feel the same way about James Wan, where I try...

I try to sit through those insidious films, and I really wanted to like them.

Like I really wanted to like The Conjuring.

I think the reason why I even liked The Conjuring slightly, and it was decent, don't get me wrong.

It looked good.

I'm a big fan of Patrick Wilson and Mrs.

Bates, that's her name.

Vera Farmiga, there you go.

But it helped that I was sitting in the theater with an urban audience.

He was like, no, don't go in there, girl, shit like that, that I was hearing out in the crowd.

It helped that I had those sights and sounds of people talking, not talking shit, but for reacting to that movie.

Because when I tried to watch it at home, it was like not a big old mess, but it was one of those things where I see what you're doing there, but I'm just not feeling it.

But it's better than Insidious to me, because I watched Insidious later.

And when that red-faced Darth Maul-hugged-looking motherfucker shows up, I was done.

I was like, this is ruined.

It's like, it's ruined the fucking movie for me altogether.

And when that dude showed up and looked like he did, and I was like, no.

And then they go into Moravod, and this really hurts my soul because I really love Lynn Shay.

And, you know, talking about it in the cities.

But she's made some trash that she's been in, but it hasn't because she had a trash reform.

She was just done.

She was just in that film where the trashy film is.

And I wouldn't call it that, but it just bore me.

And Rob Zobby is the biggest defender.

I think out of all the films he's made, he's made one good movie, and that's The Devil's Rejects.

Other ones I like parts of, and that's not including The Devil's Rejects.

I mean, not including the one with the bitches in the witch house, Lord of the Salem.

I bitched about it like five times.

Lord of the Salem.

Yes.

That film I did enjoy a lot, and I don't know if I've told the story of this podcast, but it was really funny because I met Patricia Quinn at a convention, and this was amongst all of her other Lord of the Salem actors where she pulled me aside all by myself.

And she asked me, what did you really think of the film?

Because I told her, I told her flat out the rawest truth I can give to her about why I didn't enjoy it.

Not saying, you know, you fucking suck in the fucking movie.

You know, shit like that.

And she, I was honest with her, and she told me flat out that she didn't like it much either.

That made me so happy.

That this fiery Scottish babe who is probably one of our most favorite convention meets ever, didn't like the film either.

That made me happy.

And, yeah.

That's not a redirect.

There's other ones too.

I think they've had fair clears.

They're live and dead.

You know.

I feel about Scream Queens the way you feel about, you know, Masters of Horror.

It really irks me when people throw out names or calling them, like, Ned Campbell.

I mean, apart from the Scream franchise, what the fuck has she done for horror?

Nothing.

And yet no one wants to...

No one ever mentions, you know, Linnea.

No one ever mentions Debbie Rashawn.

And I'm like, you know, people don't even know what you're talking about.

You know, yet, you know, Ned Campbell gets thrown out as a Scream Queen.

And like, she was the queen of Scream.

That's it.

You know.

That goes back to my argument about that set of people who watch those films, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just one of those things that always bothered me.

I would call myself a connoisseur of horror.

I tell visitors, probably 80% of the catalogue I haven't seen that I'm waiting for folks to introduce me to and say, hey, you should really watch this movie.

Maybe you might change the way you feel about this side of the other.

If you're out there, folks, please.

You should listen to a show called The ABCs of Hidden Horror, then.

Well, that show is so exciting.

Listen to that show.

I gotta stop doing this.

I'm so angry.

Jesus Christ.

No, that is a great show.

You guys should listen to that show.

Yeah.

That's why I listen to podcasts, for folks to turn me on to new stuff, no matter what genre it is.

And that always helps things, that they just point me in the right direction.

I appreciate those people working so hard to do that, or maybe effortlessly to do that, however they feel about it.

But yeah, those are my three greatest film beefs.

And I'll put it to you, Jamie.

Start you first.

What is your greatest film rage quit?

Detention.

That was easy for me.

I didn't make it.

I don't know if either of you have ever seen that movie.

It was maybe last year, a couple years ago, I guess.

It could have been last year, because I was still living in Athens at the time.

But I guess it was a couple years ago.

It was a movie that we had to watch for Devour.

And I got 28 minutes into it, and I bailed.

I was like, I can't do this shit anymore.

I mean, it was like, Ed and I were talking about hashtag horror earlier and how it was assaulting the senses, how it was like, what did you say?

It looked like it was filmed through a...

Yeah, okay.

This movie was, to me, more egregious than that.

I mean, it was just...

It was filmed through a snow globe.

It was just shit popping up on the screen all the time.

The dialogue was so intentionally just twee...

I was sick, sick, sick, sick of it.

Half an hour in, I couldn't do it.

And I quit.

I was like, I quit, I quit, I can't do it.

And Bo and David ridiculed me endlessly for that because they did watch it.

And I was like, I'm sorry.

You know, there are things that I just can't do, not even for the show.

And that was one of them.

I was just like, fuck it, I'm out.

So, there's that, that's mine.

And it's rare that I will do, this is, it is really rare.

Like I even said earlier, Brian, why don't you quit hashtag horror?

And I wouldn't let him.

I was like, no, I want to see it at the next point.

It is extraordinarily rare for me to just quit a film.

Headless was another movie last year that I couldn't stand and I made it all the way through.

The damn, oh, you know, their real life movie.

What the fuck is that?

Oh, August Underground.

I just got so incredibly bored with that movie.

I still got to the end because I was fast forwarding through parts where there were no dialogue, like on video fast forward, like I was watching it.

But when no one was talking, I was just fast forwarding until the talking part.

And then by the time we got to the second one, because we also had to do a few more strength of hours, we got to the second one, I fast forwarded through most of it, and I was like, well, I can't even, I can't.

Because the whole thing just bores me so much.

It's just, it's not shocking.

I think there should have been one, and it should have been a short film, because I get what you're going for.

I gave him credit for the first movie for attempting to do something.

But then when he went on to make two successive films after that, then he lost all credit with me, because he clearly had already made his point, and now he was just doing it to be doing it, and that was just boring.

But anyway, I don't even know what, oh, except to say that I made it through those I dispatched already.

But with detention, I couldn't even do that.

I was so not interested that I just flat flipped, and that never happens.

It's just really real.

Have either of you guys seen that movie?

I've seen a picture, a poster, and I actually watched a movie, though.

Yeah, that's not the same thing, is it?

Although I guarantee your experience was better than mine.

And I have heard of the episode of Devourer.

I just can't really recall the review.

I just can't really recall the review of me actually knowing what the movie was about.

It's basically about a slasher in a high school or something like some kids are in detention and then there's a slasher.

I think.

I didn't get that far.

I couldn't.

I think I remember more about the plot of Hold Your Breath than that movie.

I even made it all the way to the end of Hold Your Breath.

Something about ghosts going in teenagers' mouths and shit, who the fuck knows?

But anyway, that's my detention.

Papa X.

What does your film do when you create a speech?

Quit.

I dragged my grandmother and my little cousin out of the theater when we made the mistake of seeing Robert Altman's Popeye.

I saw that in the theater.

I got to hear this, dude.

I hated it.

I hated it from practically the moment it started.

Robin Williams was fucking unintelligible and the bleached blonde hair didn't help, so I couldn't even fucking look at him.

So that meant the focus of the entire movie was Shelley goddamn Duvall.

And she is the hardest thing in the world to look at in that movie.

She's all gangly limbs and big giant eyes like a painting in a 70s restaurant.

She's just terrible.

And then she starts singing.

Oh, sweet fucking monkey crisis.

Like listening to someone gulp down hot acid, lots of burbling and gasping, and those fucking songs.

He's large.

I mean, what the fuck is that?

I've had, I've always, I have always had a high tolerance for crap, even when I was a teenager.

But something about that movie just, it just tripped my wire.

And I had to get out of there.

I was having like a panic attack.

Like I need to leave this movie right fucking now.

So I stormed out and I haven't looked at it since.

I haven't revisited it and I probably never will.

Yeah she is because it looks like somebody soaked her in vinegar for a couple of weeks.

So her bones got all flexible and bendy.

Yeah, that's what she's like.

It's terrible.

Try to take a chicken bone and put it in a jar of vinegar and it turns to rubber and it is because it's.

Yes.

You can get the olive oil, you know, noise spray, you know, Ryan Lewis does it the best.

That's all I'm saying.

If you want to hear a great olive oil impression, go in the way back machine and look for our Popeye commentary we did for Two Drink and you might get some laughs out of there.

Get some good dick jokes in there while you're at it.

You know, I'll get some rage fuel.

Oh, my greatest rage quit is a film that was made back and I forget what year and I'm having to think about it.

It was in the time where MTV decided they thought who was funny and decided to throw it at and I thought about it and sinker with him and the mention next and Andy Milanochus and all kinds of stupid shit like that.

And this guy is Tom Green.

He made a film.

Yes, he made a film called Freddy's Got Fingered.

Yeah, yeah, that shit there.

Yeah, just a film about nothing where basically Brian Cox is his father who should be angry at his stupid son like he is.

And that's probably the best part about the whole film of Brian Cox.

But I didn't make it to the end of this film.

I made about halfway through.

I made it to about the part where the whole of the whole, if you want to call it still have at a point why it's called Freddy Got Fingered.

Freddy is Tom Green's brother in the movie played by I forget the guy's name, but he was Finch from the American Pie Series.

Yeah, Eddie K.

Thomas.

And he, Tom Green's big, I forget who he tells, says that Brian Cox, who's the father, molested his brother and for some reason they take away the brother to a mental institution or something or some kind of hospital.

But that's how I show the movie off.

Later on I hear about Tom Green jerks off an elephant and it's like a fire hose or something and there's other stuff going on in this movie.

I didn't make it that far.

This is just fucking stupid.

I like Tom Green in small doses.

He was part of that Charlie's Angels film, but that's about it.

And but the fact that they let these people out.

Road trip.

Yeah, road trip again, he was that he was not in that movie much though.

He wasn't.

He wasn't one of the the core people.

He was there for like 20 minutes and I was fine with that.

And he just did they made that movie and somebody thought it was a good idea and he was that popular to give it a big theatrical release and boy do they regret it to G.

Lee type proportions now that they fucking put that movie out now and but they get it to be one of the movies in 10 years.

They're like, oh, dude, if you see Freddy got figured, you wouldn't believe it, man.

You got to watch this movie, you know, much like, you know, our troll to is now or Tommy was those the room.

What are those films that are so bad that folks say you got to see it?

And I there's certain films out there that I turn myself off of.

I've never seen a Serbian film.

These are films that people tell me about.

And what happens these films?

But, dude, you know, they got a baby rape in that movie.

It's like, yeah, I'm really turned off.

Never seen Solo.

They never seen that film.

That movie is boring as shit.

I've actually watched it twice.

I don't know why, but it's like, I've never seen human centipede films.

I hear in the second one, somebody jerks off at sandpaper.

That's something I want to watch, so I didn't want to watch.

That's in like the first minute of the film, too, so you don't have to be too far if you want to watch that.

I like the second one.

I did not like the first one, but I like the second one.

What's the chunk of you guys' name?

Lawrence Harvey?

I met that guy.

He's a really nice guy.

That's in those films.

No, they're not in the movies to me.

August Underground, like you mentioned, any of those films like that.

I barely like Cannibal Holocaust.

The only reason why I like that a little bit is because I recognize what it did for that genre, that cannibal genre.

Out of all those films, it's probably the best one, although it's something I don't enjoy.

But I'll give it, I'll give Federal Predators 2, I'll give Barry Manilow Federal Predators 2.

I don't like his tunes, but I'll recognize his skills.

You know?

Oh, I do love Barry Manilow.

Are you a fan-alo?

Well, no, I wouldn't do that part.

But yeah, that's pretty much my greatest rage put is a...

Is that like a frilly shirt wearing Juggalo?

It's like Juggalo's parents are fan-alos.

Last time I saw a group of Juggalos, they were breaking Pokemon card game and instructional videos inside of a big crowd and that was quite scary, you know?

It's like I never get to hang out with these folks ever again.

Bye-bye, Juggalos.

But yeah, that's mine, the Tom Green vehicle, Freddy got fingered, if you want to see a sawed go watch it or something, I don't know, I'm never going to finish it, so rage quick for me right there.

Nice.

On a loop?

Yeah.

I keep telling folks in my feed-on, I'm just going to have, I don't know if you guys have ever seen this video before, this YouTube video of all the Christopher Walken dance scenes in five minutes, played at C&C Music Factory, everybody danced now.

It's just going to be that in a loop.

So basically it's just that one video, the Fatboy Slim video?

It is magical, okay, that's all I'm saying.

Which by the way, I love that video.

But I'll bring it to X and you tell us what film, or films, you can go films if you want to.

I've heard films on some of the messages.

Shape the way that you watch films today.

It's just one.

And it was really the first time that I consciously realized how movies worked.

And it's John Carpenter's Halloween.

I didn't realize it while I was watching it because I was too busy being really, really scared.

I was like 9, 10 the first time I saw it, and it really fucked me up.

I mean, I was literally crying in fear while I was watching it.

But I'd never been that consciously scared by a movie before.

So once I got some distance from it, I wanted to know how that happened.

How did that work?

Why did that scare me?

Why did it work so well that I almost pissed myself when elements were involved?

So that's the first movie where I actually kind of broke it down into separate parts because I was just really amazed at the efficiency of the whole thing.

So I started to read about cinematography.

I was starting about anamorphic lenses and deep focus, stuff like that.

And I learned about the usage of intervals in music and half steps and dissonance.

And I just tore that fucker apart.

I read interviews with Carpenter and the people who were in it.

I subscribed to Fangoria because of that movie.

So and I really started to understand how horror worked as a genre.

You know, why things frighten us, why different things scare different people.

And once I began immersing myself in that culture, again, at the age of 10, you know, I never got out of it.

I mean, I do enjoy other things as far as entertainment goes.

I did a good magic show once in a while.

You know, some terrible pornography is okay.

But you know, horror has just been my thing since I was 10 years old watching Halloween and it just made me, it made me love movies and it made me love horror.

So there you go.

Great.

Speak.

Go ahead, Jamie.

As far as I go with the Halloween thing, I've been very fortunate over the years.

I've been doing these conventions for like 10, 12 years now.

I've gotten to meet pretty much everybody, except for Lindsay, the little Lindsay, who was one of our babysitting kids, you know.

I've met Dean Conde.

I've met John Carpenter.

I've met Jamie Lee.

I've had the fortune to meet her in Indianapolis.

PJ is always a git.

And anytime I go to a convention, I'll go visit PJ Soles because she's at most of them.

And, yeah, somebody, I think I have like, I have like 12 autographs on that poster now I got.

So I don't have the same, I love the film.

I used to have the same affliction that you have where you broke it all down like that.

I could have mired that, you know.

But, uh.

My favorite Kyle Richards role ever is when she gets her head shot and we sit in her teeth and they shut off.

I wanted vanilla.

Yeah, exactly.

I had nothing against her, but you guys know me.

I just love when kids get killed in movies.

It makes me happy.

Every time Kenbury, she throws zombie breaths on the couch, I laugh every time, you know.

Get off me little white children.

I laugh every time.

Jamie, that same question, on to you, babe.

Well, one of mine is going to be pretty predictable.

Actually, two of mine will be pretty predictable, probably, if you ever pay attention to anything I say.

One of them, maybe one of the problems, but there are several movies that shaped my love of cinema over the years.

Starting with the movie, I'm just going to go, I didn't realize it at the time because I was way too young.

But the first movie that really shaped or helped to shape my love of cinema and how I love cinema was Salem's Lot.

And that's because when that originally aired, it scared the crap out of me.

And everyone has heard this story.

If you listen to my other shows, I talk about horror, and because of that film, I slept with my neck covered for a very long time after.

Still to this day, it scratched my bed and window and freaked me out.

All true.

And that began my love of very little horror.

I didn't know it at the time.

I didn't know what I would become, how much I would end up loving the genre on the whole.

But that is what started it all.

Then the movies there are two that are probably neck and neck, as far as making me really, really dissect cinema, get into it, really care about the inner workings of it, and just want to smash it all into my face.

And that is, of course, John.

Everyone knows that.

But the other one is Gone with the Wind.

And I was such a huge fan of Gone with the Wind when I was younger, just the inner workings of it.

And going behind the scenes, watching documentaries on that, reading everything I could about it, it amazes me to this day that that movie even got made, just because of everything that went into it.

It was just astounding.

And really, stuff that holds up today visually, it is remarkable.

And, you know, like matte paintings and things that people still use sometimes.

But the fact that he was so into all of the clothes being as authentic as possible, you know, and that was caught a fortune.

There's a scene in Atlanta where there are soldiers, like thousands of soldiers, littering the ground.

And a lot of those are real people in costume.

But a lot of them are dummies with just, like, one movable body part that people were controlling.

And they would just be like a movable arm.

And to me, that is extremely advanced for the time period.

And the fact that they even think to do that, to give it just a little bit of a touch of realism to attempt to.

It's, you know, I don't know, people feel one way or the other about that film.

And there was a time when it was universally loved, when everyone just said, wow, that is an amazing film.

And now you don't seem to find that as often.

And I think a lot of people have issues with it politically or whatever.

Maybe they just find it boring.

Maybe it's too long.

But if you want to look at something strictly from a filmmaking perspective, that's a good place to start.

It really is.

And kind of neck and neck with that is Wizard of Oz.

Not for me personally, but just as far as same time, a lot of really advanced filmmaking stuff, a lot of stuff that holds up today.

Those are two films that I have managed to stand the test of time as far as filmmaking goes.

And then Jaws, that movie affected me on so many levels.

I have poured over everything I ever possibly could about that movie.

It became an obsession for a while.

And to this day, if I watch a documentary about that film, I will cry.

I will.

Because beauty moves me.

And to me, that is a beautiful thing.

And so watching everything that went on behind the scenes with that film just touches me.

There's no good way to say what I was about to say.

It touches me in an artistic way.

But that just sounds like a really awkward euphemism.

Like you were going to say, I really fell for the shark and all this good stuff.

They were in his land and they should have just let him be.

Well, that too.

I mean, in real life, I do get angry.

I got angry because after that film, there was this whole influx of people going out and just murdering sharks and wild abandoned.

Abandoned.

Wild abandoned because of that film.

And Peter Benchley even regretted that.

So there is that.

But I don't know.

As far as filmmaking goes, to me, that's one of the greatest beats ever.

It's funny.

I don't know if I told this before, Jamie, but when I met Dee Wallace, I think for the first or second time, I think I met her two times, I showed her the art for the beef episode we did for Kujo.

I forget who was on that show, and I apologize for that, guys.

But the title was Something Kids and Rabbit Heroes.

Rabbit Heroes being the dog.

I had to explain myself why I called Kujo a rabbit hero, because you were kind of cheating on your husband with that tennis pro, and it's kind of like the bio-intervention, you and your emaciated son get attacked by this dog.

That's all I'm saying.

What did she say to that?

She wasn't speechless, but I was like, wow, new perspective.

It's not really a new perspective, it's just one of those things where, yeah, karma's a bitch.

You were cheating on your husband.

Oh my god.

Was that the time that she called me?

That was the time, yeah, she called.

Wow, okay, well she must not have been too upset by that.

Oh, she went bad.

It's a wild perspective, but it's perspective nonetheless, you know.

That's why I do these things, people.

But mine, it wasn't really hard to come up with this, but I came up with two.

Or no, no, I'll just do the one.

When I was younger, my cousin Joey, we had a better decade on me, at least a decade on me in years.

We would hang out a lot and play Dungeons & Dragons and even show me certain films.

Well, one of the films that he showed me that pretty much shaped the way I watch films today is The Oliver Stone Written, John Milly has directed, Arnold Schwarzenegger starring, Conan the Barbarian.

And right from the go, I knew I was going to like this film.

You had Mako, who's a...

This is my Mako, I'm sorry.

It was a Mako.

Mako was doing the narration, and then the great Basil Polidori's score kicks in, and they put the drums and the beats and the...

I just knew I was going to love this movie.

And it did not disappoint at all.

It still doesn't disappoint.

You get blood and gore in this movie.

You got Sandel Burbing cutting people's heads off.

You got fucking James Earl Jones, a sick person.

At a young age, I saw titties in films, so that was a lot of fun.

Yes, yes, I mentioned this story.

But yeah, the soundtrack, it's been imitated, but not the same as Conan.

Conan, it's just...

It taught me that a score, you talk about the score, can be almost like a cast member of the film, because it was almost a character in itself.

I used to just turn on the score just to play video games.

That's what we listen to whenever we play D&D.

It's like every time there's a battle...

Whenever there's a battle coming up in D&D, Brian, who is the D&D has always been for this group, will just reach over and click on the soundtrack.

And it really is cool.

Cool is a strong word.

It is.

Don't discount it, because it is.

Did I ever tell you the story about me not getting to see that movie in the theater?

I'm curious now.

My family and I were all going to the movies, and it was that film and Rocky III were playing.

And we got into this huge fight.

I wanted to go see Conan.

Everybody else wanted to see Rocky III.

And so since I was the youngest one in the family, I lost.

And I love Rocky III.

I absolutely love Rocky III.

So there's not a problem in that.

It's just that I was so angry.

Because I was like, no, I want to see Conan.

And then everyone else wanted to see Rocky III.

So we ended up seeing Rocky III, which was fine.

I mean, because it was a good movie.

And then of course I did get to see it later.

But I was an angry, angry child that day.

Yeah.

Yeah, that film, though, it gives me, you know, gives me my, the way I feel already now is pretty much the same way I felt when I watched Conan for the first time.

I knew this was going to be a guy that was going to be in my life for a long time.

And I'm gratefully still doing what he does, but not saying, OK, I'm a young man.

I'm going to go make these young man action films.

He's kind of playing like this, this old man action star.

I can really appreciate that he's not really playing before his age.

Sandell Bergman, who's a...

She's like a sex symbol to me.

You know, I love her.

I love her in everything.

Except for maybe a little less in Reg Sonia, because she was kind of a bad guy in that movie.

I got to meet her last year for the first time, and it was like a revelation.

I was like, I think I'm probably the most heterosexual male you know that loves Xanadu as much as I do.

You know, it's just one of those things.

Because she was in that movie.

And Reg Sonia and Conan, I watched, there was a bunch.

And especially Conan, because of everything I mentioned.

Not just Arnie, but Spinelli Thorson, who's an actor that, if you don't know his name, you've seen Spinelli Thorson a bunch.

He was LeFors and the security guard in Mallrats.

He's in Hard Target.

He's in a ton of stuff.

If you look at his IMDb page, if you look at the face, you know who Spinelli Thorson is, because he's been in a ton of stuff.

I think his only starring role, this is either unfortunate but not unfortunate, was in Abraxas with Jesse DiBadi Ventura.

He played Secundus, the bad guy.

And I guess that was quite a treat for him.

But you know, whatever.

Conan will always be my film.

It's a go-to film.

I've seen it a bunch.

I'm going to see it a bunch more times.

The sequel is a little lackluster, but I'll watch that one too.

Because Bob the Goon is his little one-in-partner and I love that shit.

You know?

But yeah, that's about it for this segment.

Now Xanadu's stuck in my head.

Oh yeah, he is as well as should be.

Come on now.

At least it kicked out Robbie Neville.

I actually really enjoyed that movie.

I've seen Xanadu as shit-done, so.

But with that, we're going to come back and we're going to close up the program.

And now finally, we're almost done folks.

I promise, I promise, we're almost done.

Final messages from Ben and Misty from the Black Anis Horror Podcast.

And my main partners at the NFW and the Two Drink Min Pod commentaries is Willis and Nudie Left Messages as well.

So, here those go.

And then we'll be getting right back to you guys soon.

Bye.

Hello everybody.

Welcome to another episode of NFW Podcast.

No, I'm just kidding.

Hey Gary, it's Nudie here.

Just wanted to congratulate you on three years of beefing.

Of course, I'm going to say our episode was the best beef ever.

I mean, come on, we talked on Friday the 13th and we did Bad Boys with my Sean Penn.

So, there you go.

That's the best beef that ever was a beef beef.

And I don't even think we beefed that much on it.

I think I kind of talked you into liking the Friday the 13th.

So, once again, congratulations.

And I don't know if I ever flipped out on a movie, like walked out of a movie.

I don't, if I go see something, I know it's something that I'm going to like.

So, I don't waste my money on stuff that I'm not too sure about.

Like, Jake will go see everything.

But then again, Jake likes everything.

I think Jake liked Bucky Larson.

So, yeah, I got to say though, I was kind of pissed off at the ending of High Tension.

The whole movie, that ending just killed the whole movie for me.

I thought that was kind of weird, that that's how they would decide to end the movie.

But, you know, I mean, it is what it is.

But I was kind of pissed off about that.

But once again, congratulations.

And, you know, three years is a long time to be doing this stuff.

And you're still going strong, more than one show.

So, I guess we'll be celebrating Two Drink Minimum soon.

So once again, congratulations and peace out.

Right.

This is Misty and Ben from the Black Annus Podcast.

Cinema Beef, happy third anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

To our favorite bears.

We have been given some questions.

Our three greatest film beefs.

So we're going to go like the least amount of beef to the most amount of beef.

Oh dear.

In order.

And if anybody knows us.

Oddly enough, the least amount of beef we can't agree on.

It's the Halloween remake.

The Rob Zombie remake.

Don't send us hate email.

I voted for Rob Zombie's original Halloween remake.

And I voted for Halloween 2.

They're both shit.

Hated the Halloween remake.

I hated it because everything about Michael Myers is wrong.

The whole point of Michael Myers is that he was meant to be pure evil.

He was from a good, normal suburban family.

There was nothing wrong.

He was just evil, incarnate.

Yeah, but in the second one, they brought in ghosts and a white horse.

And the fact he was living as a hobo.

What the hell?

Yeah, but in the first one, he completely fucked up the entire concept of Michael Myers.

He's like, oh, he's actually just like a serial killer and his family's all white trash.

And you know, that's why.

It's just fucking shut up.

Ghost and a hobo.

Okay, yeah, ghost and a hobo.

The whole horse thing.

Pretty fucking bad.

And him as a child telling him to kill people and the river of blood will make it right.

That's our nomination for our third of the top three film beefs.

Countdown to number two.

Yeah, the second one is more my beef than Ben's because he hasn't seen it.

And it's the I remake.

I have.

I was indifferent to it.

I was not indifferent to it because that is the only movie I've ever watched where I felt insulted as a viewer.

They tried to dumb it down so fucking much for American audiences that it insulted my intelligence as a viewer of the movie.

If you can't guess, she's talking about the I remake.

Yeah, the remake of the I.

And I was a big fan of the original, but the remake was just fucking patronizing.

God, it was so patronizing.

Number one biggest film beef is a movie that Ben and I saw about seven years ago, and we are still pissed off at the movie.

What?

Released in 2010, Monsters.

Yeah, yeah.

And if any of you have had the unfortunate painstaking job of ever seeing that movie, you'll know that you're like, Oh, Monsters, big giant monsters, mutated aliens, whatever they were supposed to be.

But no, you get an hour and a half of a woman that just needs to go pee.

Seriously, like, there's one shot in the whole movie where you see the big aliens in the distance, and it looks really beautiful.

But everything else in that movie, it is like nothing fucking happens.

The whole movie is like...

Them wondering and her needing to go pee.

Yeah, she needs to pee every five minutes, and we have to go along for this ride of her needing to pee every five minutes, and then she like loses her passport or some stupid shit.

It's just fucking...

Oh God, it's boring.

It's so boring.

Like, I cannot get that time in my life back.

Greatest film rage quit.

I have never rage quit a film.

I know I had to have at some point.

I have.

Yeah, Finn has.

One movie, and we were looking at...

You know when you're looking at like, what cool Halloween movies should we watch?

You know, getting random horror movies.

I found one called Thanks Killing.

Now, if anybody ever knows this one, it's a rubber turkey that kills people.

Which I have no problem with.

Yeah, I managed to last through six minutes of the intro and then just turned it off because it was just like, what the fuck is this?

It's on the screen right now.

See, I didn't rage quit that movie because...

No, bear in mind, I watched Troll 2.

Troll 2 is great.

And the quality of Troll 2 was Hollywood compared to Thanks Killing in, oh my word.

But you cannot deny that Thanks Killing had a badass soundtrack.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Some of the doom metal on that soundtrack made me...

That's why I didn't rage quit it, because I was like, yep, the movie so far is shit, but man, I love the music.

I should just keep watching it, but Ben wasn't having it.

It left very quickly though.

And got deleted and never watched again.

Right.

So a film that shaped the way you watch films today.

Me personally, I'm going to go with Dead Alive.

Brain Dead.

For the English listeners out there.

Yeah, Brain Dead slash Dead Alive.

Obviously, I've been watching horror movies for years and things like that.

But that movie really, I don't know, it's like, it gave me more of an appreciation for the ridiculous and over the top.

And I mean, I had a bit of that sort of appreciation beforehand.

But when I saw that movie, I was probably...

It is an epic movie, though, to be fair.

Yeah, I was probably like 16, 17 when I saw it.

And it was, that was it.

I was just, just delight in the carnage, you know?

Yeah, I had that one of my friends just brought it around DVD.

He was like, we should watch this.

And we just got drunk and watched it.

And it was just one of the coolest things I've seen.

The one-liners, I mean, God, it just completely gave me a hunger for over the top.

It was his mother eating her own ear and him walking through the entire room of zombies with the lawnmower strapped to his chest.

And the priest.

I kick ass for the Lord.

The priest, man.

So what was your film that shaped the way you watched films?

The original Troll movie.

Not Troll 2, the one that was actually about a troll.

How did that like shape the way?

That's what started it all off.

I mean, I must have been, you know, eight, nine years old.

I was a little kid and I remember watching this and it scared the shit out of me.

I mean, that was the one movie.

And I couldn't watch it again for years.

I'm going to have to find...

But when I did, you know, it's like really, really tame.

But that's what sort of started me off on my whole horror binge of watching horror movies and enjoying horror movies.

That's adorable.

I just remember it just being awesome.

Just some of the stuff in it.

You know, obviously at that age, I've never seen anything like it before.

I sort of set it all off.

You know, I don't think I've ever seen the original Troll.

If I did, it was so long ago, I don't remember it.

Let me get it for you.

Yeah, we totally got to watch it.

Right.

So that's our beefs.

Happy third anniversary, guys.

Look forward to many more years of Cinema Beef.

Our three beefs for three years of Cinema Beef.

Take care, guys.

Hey, peeps, this is Wild Man Woods here, and here are some of my greatest film beefs.

Number one, please stop trying to make all these damn PG-13 horror movies.

I miss the days of radar horror movies with blood, tits and ass and dismemberments at the movie screen, and I'm tired of all these damn stupid, insidious movies.

That's beef number one.

Beef number two.

Please stop trying to make Superman into a dark and gloomy character.

He's a symbol of all hope.

He's the man of steel.

Stop trying to put doom on gloomy Superman.

He shouldn't be like that.

Get your act together, Hollywood.

That's why Christopher Reeve will always remain to be the best Superman ever.

And my third beef is, I'm tired of Hollywood not trying to greenlit original ideas for movies.

I know I love comic book movies and stuff, but I don't want to see new stuff that nobody ever seen before at the movies.

So Hollywood, get your act together.

And my movie that I watched that I quit watching it because I hate the movie so much is ET.

I hate that movie with a passion.

And the movie that helped me view movies the way I do now is Star Wars.

Star Wars will be always the perfect movie in my mind.

So that's it.

This is Wildman Willis signing off.

See you next time.

Well, Love It or Hate It, that was our 30 year anniversary program, and we hope you guys enjoyed it.

30 years?

30 years, 30 years of doing this show, people.

30 years of doing this show, and I'd like to thank everybody.

I'd like to thank everybody that participated in it.

I like discussing the talkies.

The talkies, yes, indeed.

That's said of the MP3s.

And to support the show all these three years, I've been through some stuff in my life that made me stop doing the show for a little hiatus or whatnot.

And I feel that we bounced back pretty good from that.

And I'm grateful to have my second family here with me to do that and lots of love to you guys.

If I haven't shown it enough, I love to share to you guys for your constant support and putting up with me basically.

You guys are all right.

I do love you a lot and it meant so much to me when you asked me to join this show with you because I always love talking to you, but this gives me the opportunity to talk about some of your mood shift.

And it's one of the few times I venture outside the genre and just go all over the place.

And it's fun and I've always wanted a vehicle for that, but we just go all random.

And I always look forward to talking to you, whether it's on this show or even on other shows, just because I always appreciate your insight.

You have a fantastic, to say, a knowledge hole in the brain.

I want to use knowledge hole from now on.

And I love being with you guys, and with the talking about it.

You always get my off-kilter references, and my random ass jokes.

And that means a lot.

It really does.

Well, yeah, I understand that completely.

You get mine too, which I really appreciate.

And I don't know, I really enjoy working with you guys.

It's a lot of fun.

Like Jamie said, Gary makes me watch shit that I would never fucking ever watch in my life.

So it kind of kicks me out of my shell a little bit and broadens my horizons.

So you guys are a lot of fun.

I always look forward to doing this show.

And I hope everybody who listens picks up on the fact that we all enjoy hanging out with each other and talking about movies.

I appreciate you guys as well for that reason.

You guys like I said, podcasters turn me on to do things and X mentions movies that I've never ever heard of before in my life because I'm not calling you old, but you've been on this earth longer than I have.

So you've been around it and I do what the man to was before I ever met you.

But you know, it's stuff like weird stuff like the man to and stuff like that.

Just to point it out to me to say, hey, maybe you should watch this weird piece of garbage because you really might enjoy it and you know, not nine times out of 10.

You're probably correct.

Because we I feel that we know each other's tastes.

I think we do.

You guys know I'm going to bitch about the horror genre.

Not in a bad way, you know, because if you like it, you like it, you know, I'm just I just have certain feelings about certain things and I like what I like.

We do.

We know.

Do I do it?

It's like the angriest curmudgeon ever.

I swear.

Did you do I recognize that Gioly genre is a great genre?

Sure.

I just don't like it very much because I just I just don't get the appeal of it.

But I recognize that there's a lot of fans out there who do love it and I could see why.

But like Blood Black Laces is a really pretty film to look at.

I just don't think it's very good.

But it's just regarded by a lot of people as good.

So, you know, if you like what you like, you like it.

I'll never, never, ever, ever shit on somebody for liking something.

This is somebody who's seen the Garbage Field Kids movie at least a dozen times.

And that's not a good movie.

No.

But it's still that I've seen a bunch of times.

So, yeah, never think that your cinematic tastes are wrong.

Because, you know, even folks who like Freddy's Got Fingered have a voice.

And that's what this show is all about, people.

You having a voice.

And just like at my wedding, they're going to be like, hey, be minister.

Jamie, would you like some sausage?

Don't do that.

I would.

The sausage comes after the reception if you know what I'm saying.

Those are my vows.

I'll offer them just for your enjoyment.

Oh, don't do that.

That'd be bad.

Well, like I said, that comes after the wedding.

That's the reception.

Oh, that's the young world star.

You got your pocket money.

You got your pocket money.

You got your pocket money.

You got your pocket money.

Maybe Jamie got tentacled, who knows.

I'm betting Brian Sammons loves Japanese hentai tentacle porn.

I mean, I'm just throwing it out there, you know.

It's so left crafty, as a matter of fact.

Oh my god.

But the next show is the show that we're going to record, which I'm shooting for my Mother's Day release.

So it's going to be a Mother's Day show, and we're going to record it with the Black Annus folks, Misty and Ben, if you guys like that kind of thing.

They're going to come join us for our Mother's Day program, which is going to feature three films that I hope you like.

One film I haven't seen in a long, long time, but it used to make me laugh.

I'm Cable.

My mom is a werewolf, and we're going to do Serial Mom, which is a film I know I love.

We're going to do a film that everybody listening to the show probably loves.

Peter Jackson's Brain Dead or Dead Alive, whatever you call it.

We're going to do that because we all love our mothers, and those guys all love their mothers as well in those films.

So it's a common theme for the Mother's Day show.

But, um...

What a bunch of mothers.

What a bunch of mothers, yes indeed.

Jamie, where can they find your stuff, girl?

Oh, let's see.

You can find my stuff, most of it, over at Horrorphilia, like The Skeleton Crew and ABC's of Hidden Horror and Evil Episodes.

Or you can find some at Legion, like What's Left of Devour and Evil Episodes over there too.

And you can find me on Twitter at Maven1974.

Beautiful.

You can mostly find me on Kiss the Goat, which I host with my beautiful wife, Cutie, where we talk about devil movies.

And our correspondent, Sin Fallon, does our Satan in the News segment, which is always a good time.

Let's see, where else can you find me on the Theme Warriors podcast with Doug Tilly and Mike Merriman and Iris?

And you can find me whatever the hell we recorded on the Guilty as Charged show, The Night Stalker Retrospective.

I've got a guest shot coming up on Cinema Psiops, which should be out on Sunday.

And you can find me on Facebook, and I'm on Twitter, Jeffrey X.

Martin.

Just look for me and I'll magically show up like the fucking ShamWow guy.

Yeah, you can find me here, as always, on The Cinema Beef Podcast.

I'm the Two Drinkers in the Commentaries with Willis and Nudie and all.

We've been getting some interesting guests on that show, so look for those to come out, hopefully, every Wednesday.

As I'm recording this show, I'm going to release the Friday Night 1 and 2 one tomorrow, and then by the time this probably will come out, those will be out already, and this one soon after, obviously.

But besides that, Twitter at GW, Edson and Beef Cast as well, if you guys want to follow us both on Twitter like that.

Come join the Facebook group.

I think for this particular show, I'm going to pick three random people off of the list.

If you guys would like a gift from me, I'll contact you once I pick those three random people, and you guys can win a free gift from us.

But always check us out on iTunes.

Yeah, awesome, right?

Great reviewers on iTunes, please.

And it might make our nice day a little brighter if you guys did that, and help us get seen better on iTunes and all that good shit.

Find us on Stitcher Smart Radio, yada, yada, yada.

If you're listening to this show, you've already obviously already found us, so thanks for that, guys.

And thanks for, again, by the way, thanks for all the love over these past three years.

It may seem like it's been a hard road for me, but it probably has, but it has nothing to do with this program.

This program has always been the best therapy for me.

I don't want to punch a hole through John Wall.

So, you know, you people are the best for that reason.

But remember, always share the CINDY Podcast.

If you've got beef, we've got the grind.

See you guys next time.

Rumbly, rumbly, the train goes under me.