Cinema Beef Podcast : She's Got To Steal Somebody's Baby (The Hand That Rocks The Cradle/Inside
Jeffrey X: Are you?
Suzanne: Wow, that is like some serious pain in the whole week.
Jeffrey X: No, no, no, no, no.
Jeffrey X: Look, I...
Jeffrey X: I feel like if I'm ever gonna get into heaven, if there is a heaven, it's gonna be because I let people have a free cart at the Aldi, and I judge people who do not do that.
Jeffrey X: Oh, heaven.
Gary Hill: Go pull David Byrd already.
Gary Hill: I know this is gonna be a great show, and I'll see, you know.
Jeffrey X: Praise the Lord for bringing us this generous bounty.
Jeffrey X: *** Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have.
Jeffrey X: Wait, wait.
Jeffrey X: I worry what you just heard was, give me a lot of bacon and eggs.
Jeffrey X: What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have.
Gary Hill: Hello, and happy Mother's Day.
Gary Hill: As Mr.
Gary Hill: T would say, treat your mother right every day of your life.
Gary Hill: Ah, this is Gary.
Gary Hill: This is the podcast.
Gary Hill: I'm your humble host.
Gary Hill: We're here tonight, and I am real, real, I'm gonna have to switch back.
Gary Hill: I couldn't even tell you why I'm so project up right now.
Gary Hill: I couldn't tell you.
Gary Hill: But tonight, with us are the three you know, for sure.
Gary Hill: Well, three you know so far all the time.
Gary Hill: One, from Knoxville, Tennessee, Jeffrey X.
Gary Hill: Martin.
Gary Hill: How you doing, sir?
Gary Hill: Hi.
Gary Hill: What's going on, brother?
Jeffrey X: Everything's cool, dude.
Jeffrey X: I mean, yeah, it's a, it's a chilly night in Knoxville, which is better than a rainy night in Georgia.
Gary Hill: Oh, yeah?
Gary Hill: Well, you know, I get rabbit, you know, rainy nights.
Gary Hill: It all goes, it all goes hand in hand, you know, because he loves rainy nights.
Gary Hill: I think there's a twang over there or something.
Suzanne: Dude, nobody can hear you.
Suzanne: Pat's playing guitar.
Gary Hill: No, it's okay.
Gary Hill: I was like, where the twang come from?
Gary Hill: I can't wait for banjos to happen.
Gary Hill: But that's okay.
Gary Hill: You heard it just now.
Gary Hill: You heard Patrick just now.
Gary Hill: Suzanne is here.
Gary Hill: How are you doing, girl?
Suzanne: I'm here.
Suzanne: I'm not in a bad mood.
Suzanne: So that's a good thing.
Gary Hill: You tell Pat that was very organic.
Gary Hill: It created a moment on the show.
Gary Hill: Okay.
Gary Hill: If you could tell him I said that.
Gary Hill: Yeah, I did.
Gary Hill: It was very organic.
Suzanne: Oh, Pat, by the way, everybody thumbs up.
Gary Hill: For what?
Suzanne: Your twang.
Jeffrey X: Hey, Pat, can we do karaoke?
Jeffrey X: Like, can we do requests?
Suzanne: Can you do requests?
Jeffrey X: Maybe, whatever they want.
Suzanne: What do you want?
Jeffrey X: I mean, I'll do my best, Scott Wild, if he can play plush.
Suzanne: I think he can play plush.
Gary Hill: We've seen these show guys, we sang before the show.
Suzanne: Oh, he's been.
Suzanne: How about blister in the sun?
Suzanne: We got that down.
Jeffrey X: Oh, have I told this story?
Jeffrey X: I saw the Violent Femmes back in the day on the Blind leading the Naked tour.
Jeffrey X: So they played every song they knew and then they came back out and played other songs again.
Jeffrey X: And when they left the stage, the people in the venue got into a fight.
Jeffrey X: There was a freaking riot.
Jeffrey X: There was a dude who looked like Jesus Christ.
Jeffrey X: I know, I know.
Jeffrey X: But he jumped off the stage and we never saw him again.
Jeffrey X: We think he is under the stage.
Jeffrey X: We think his flesh has gone away.
Jeffrey X: And he is still somewhere underneath the stage at Bogarch in Cincinnati.
Suzanne: There's a second part.
Gary Hill: And dealing with Jesus Christ, we're talking about, you know, the one of the pictures.
Jeffrey X: We're talking about Max Seedow, King of Kings.
Jeffrey X: No, that's Jeffrey Hunter.
Jeffrey X: That's the same thing.
Jeffrey X: Same person.
Gary Hill: Shit.
Gary Hill: I've never seen a room together.
Gary Hill: I haven't seen a room together, period.
Gary Hill: So there's that, you know.
Jeffrey X: But, yeah, we never saw that fucker again.
Jeffrey X: It was hilarious.
Jeffrey X: I'll tell you the second part of the story later, because there is a second part to the story.
Jeffrey X: But, dude.
Gary Hill: Speaking of political conversations, he got resurrected into Jared Leto people, is all I'll say about that, you know.
Gary Hill: Fear to Jared Leto, not Jordan Castellano, Jared Leto, okay?
Gary Hill: You know.
Jeffrey X: What if he wanted to break?
Jeffrey X: I'm just asking.
Gary Hill: I had to explain that.
Gary Hill: This is basically called Tantrums, people.
Gary Hill: That's fine.
Gary Hill: I had to explain that to my friend's daughter.
Gary Hill: She goes, why is Jared Leto so terrible?
Gary Hill: Why do they watch his movies?
Gary Hill: I was like, well, back in the day when I was a pup, you know, all the little white girls wanted to get Jared Castellano from my so-called life.
Gary Hill: But that's why he kind of lives in the memories and souls of people, you know?
Jeffrey X: Yeah.
Suzanne: Oh, Jordan, the first 30 seconds to Mars album doesn't suck.
Gary Hill: Jordan Catalano.
Gary Hill: I'm sorry, white girls out there.
Gary Hill: You name right, you know?
Jeffrey X: Yeah, I have to agree with Suze.
Jeffrey X: The Kill is one of the great songs of all time.
Gary Hill: Video is not bad either.
Suzanne: I love Buddha for Mary.
Gary Hill: Speaking of which, though.
Jeffrey X: I didn't understand what you said, so I thought you said soundtrack to Mary and that's a little offing.
Jeffrey X: What is happening right now?
Jeffrey X: I'll be wrong.
Gary Hill: I think you said The Wind Pries Mary, perhaps.
Suzanne: Yeah, maybe.
Gary Hill: I don't know.
Gary Hill: But yeah.
Suzanne: Now Buddha for Mary?
Suzanne: All right.
Gary Hill: Mary, Mary, why are you bugging Mary?
Gary Hill: Mary, I need some loving, you know.
Suzanne: Now, I thought some Andrew Dice clay nursery rhymes.
Gary Hill: That fell flat right there, right in the face.
Gary Hill: The time I was in a show with Jamie in there, I mean, I mean, I made a press joke about about the Sweetie Bridge.
Gary Hill: That joke just fell flat and I was like, I put crickets in the show.
Gary Hill: I may do that again.
Jeffrey X: Oh my gosh.
Gary Hill: Okay, we're here tonight.
Gary Hill: Talk about mamas and trucks and prison and all this stuff.
Gary Hill: David Allen Coe, RIP, I digress.
Gary Hill: X, what you've been watching lately, man.
Jeffrey X: I'm sorry.
Jeffrey X: I'm so laughing at you.
Jeffrey X: Talking about the greatest country song ever written.
Jeffrey X: So thank you for that.
Jeffrey X: RIP, David Allen Coe, like you said.
Jeffrey X: Listen, I watched Undertone, and I thought it was absolutely amazing.
Jeffrey X: It relies on sound over visuals, and that was refreshing.
Jeffrey X: And the tension's got a really nice, steady build.
Jeffrey X: It's a great bottle picture because it's all in one location.
Jeffrey X: It's just in the house, and that's it.
Jeffrey X: And it was great.
Jeffrey X: I was chilled like a box of wine in a Minnesota lake.
Jeffrey X: It's great stuff.
Jeffrey X: No spoilers, but if you could watch it with headphones on, do it because there are stuff everywhere.
Jeffrey X: Holy damn.
Jeffrey X: If you could get the Atmos, the Dolby Atmos for that movie, it will break your face.
Jeffrey X: Really good.
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Jeffrey X: Number two, here's a story.
Jeffrey X: I have a story.
Jeffrey X: I often have a story.
Gary Hill: Is it about Lake Minnetonka?
Gary Hill: Is it?
Gary Hill: I'm terrifying you with them.
Jeffrey X: Have you been baptized in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?
Gary Hill: Oh, absolutely.
Jeffrey X: Okay, good.
Jeffrey X: No, this is a completely different thing.
Jeffrey X: We went to visit my folks this past weekend.
Jeffrey X: And my dad was cooler than usual, which is great.
Jeffrey X: He's a WWE guy and I am an AEW guy.
Jeffrey X: So we watched SmackDown on Friday night and it's whatever.
Jeffrey X: I don't like to dub WWE.
Jeffrey X: It's fine.
Jeffrey X: I watched it because my dad wanted to watch it.
Jeffrey X: On Saturday, he let us watch Collision.
Jeffrey X: I asked permission first.
Jeffrey X: I was like, can we please, with your permission, watch my show?
Jeffrey X: And he was like, yes, of course.
Jeffrey X: So we watched that and he liked it.
Jeffrey X: And that's my company.
Jeffrey X: And I was happy to share stuff with him.
Jeffrey X: But...
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Jeffrey X: So before Collision and after Collision, it's all either on TBS or TNT.
Jeffrey X: I can't remember.
Jeffrey X: We watched John Wick 3 twice.
Jeffrey X: Oh, it's good.
Gary Hill: Which one is John Wick 4?
Gary Hill: Has Bill Skarsgård been in it?
Jeffrey X: I don't know.
Jeffrey X: This is the one with Mark Dacascos.
Gary Hill: Dacascos, yes.
Jeffrey X: Yeah.
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Jeffrey X: But we watched them out of order.
Jeffrey X: So like the first time we watched it, we hit it about an hour in.
Jeffrey X: Just enough to see the chairman's nephew from Iron Chef America sit on the couch and talk about how much he loved John Wick as a human.
Jeffrey X: And then after Collision, the movie started again.
Jeffrey X: They showed the same FN1.
Jeffrey X: So it's like John's from Belarus?
Jeffrey X: I never saw part two.
Jeffrey X: I didn't know.
Jeffrey X: I didn't know why Halle Berry was there.
Jeffrey X: None of it made sense before Collision, but it did after Collision.
Jeffrey X: So we're still kind of like booked up about this network version that was like a thrown jigsaw against the wall.
Jeffrey X: So I don't know.
Jeffrey X: Anyway, I have served and I will be of service and we will watch all five John Wick movies, including Bell Marina as soon as possible and Uncut.
Jeffrey X: But I have one more.
Jeffrey X: My friends, do you have Tubi?
Jeffrey X: Of course you have Tubi because only losers don't have Tubi.
Jeffrey X: I apologize to people who don't have Tubi that are called losers.
Jeffrey X: Let me strongly encourage you to watch the movie called Night of the Rats.
Jeffrey X: This is not the Bruno Matai Rats Night of Terror.
Jeffrey X: This is a 2025 flick.
Jeffrey X: As you've probably guessed, it's about big rats doing big rat things, including carnivorous human gnawing.
Jeffrey X: That's the noise.
Jeffrey X: Anyway, this movie is so earnest and it's grounded.
Jeffrey X: I like all the characters.
Jeffrey X: Part of it was filmed about an hour and a half away from us up in Oneida, Tennessee.
Jeffrey X: Come on, raise up.
Jeffrey X: Anyway, great practical effects.
Jeffrey X: And there are so many references to Italian horror.
Jeffrey X: I just want to shove a cavatappi up my p-hole.
Jeffrey X: I love this movie so much.
Jeffrey X: Is it budget constrained?
Jeffrey X: Yes, it absolutely is.
Jeffrey X: Does it have a great story?
Jeffrey X: Does it have practical effects that are amazing?
Jeffrey X: You bet.
Jeffrey X: It's a gem.
Jeffrey X: You're a gem.
Jeffrey X: We're all gems.
Jeffrey X: Watch Neither the Rats.
Jeffrey X: This is my movie of the year.
Jeffrey X: This is the one that I will champion, much like I did Chainsaws for Singing, which is still a classic, wonderful movie that everyone should see.
Jeffrey X: Boom.
Jeffrey X: Listen to Autolex.
Jeffrey X: Listen to Loomer.
Jeffrey X: Listen to the Sequanta album with Pussifer and A Perfect Circle and Failure.
Jeffrey X: Listen to the new Failure album.
Jeffrey X: Listen to it three or four times because it works better as a whole.
Jeffrey X: Listen to Twin Tribes and then listen to your heart.
Jeffrey X: I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.
Suzanne: Nice.
Suzanne: Rocks that?
Jeffrey X: Absolutely.
Jeffrey X: Oh, no, everyone went away.
Suzanne: I'm here.
Suzanne: I don't know if the audio is being fucked up, or Gary's on mute still.
Suzanne: Oh, I can't, I can't catch them.
Gary Hill: Go ahead, I'm sorry.
Suzanne: It's okay.
Suzanne: Speak.
Suzanne: Whose turn is it?
Gary Hill: Your turn.
Suzanne: Okay.
Gary Hill: Free up the hooch, Val.
Gary Hill: Come on now, you know.
Gary Hill: The Cubbies won.
Suzanne: So the Cubbies are killing it, and three-fifths of their pictures are fucking out.
Suzanne: Anyway, so I did catch Body Cam, which was fucking phenomenal.
Suzanne: Thank you for the rec.
Suzanne: I love the rec.
Jeffrey X: Yes, dude, it's so good.
Suzanne: It's just got, it hits all of these like Lovecraft and Carpenter notes.
Suzanne: And I love the fucking monster.
Suzanne: And I'm like, Oh God, it's gonna suck.
Suzanne: It's gonna suck.
Suzanne: Oh shit, that's cool as.
Suzanne: But I've also kind of been doing my deep dive back into the seventies.
Suzanne: So the other night I watched Blowout with John Travolta, actually haven't watched it in a really long time.
Suzanne: And I'm glad I did.
Jeffrey X: Oh my God.
Suzanne: Three days at the Condor.
Jeffrey X: Oh, it is.
Suzanne: Yeah.
Gary Hill: That's a handsome record.
Suzanne: So the other one I watched was for some reason, it popped up in something I was reading.
Suzanne: So I'm like, okay, I haven't watched it in a long fucking time, but I watched Carnal Knowledge.
Suzanne: Wow, the 70s were such a completely different playground for filmmakers.
Suzanne: Holy shit, the conversations.
Suzanne: Now everybody would be offended and red-faced and hand-wringing little crybaby bitches.
Suzanne: But that was some...
Suzanne: It's very well done.
Suzanne: I will admit the dialogue could use a little punching up.
Jeffrey X: It's pretty man-in-the-boat pearl clutching.
Suzanne: Yes, it is.
Suzanne: It truly is.
Suzanne: And I just...
Suzanne: Jack Nicholson is literally...
Suzanne: All he does is play Jack Nicholson in a role as whoever the character is.
Suzanne: But it was at least honest in its fucking form.
Suzanne: Because I've known a lot of people like that over the years.
Suzanne: Now it's like I really wish some guys would go hit the gym and not look like, you know, olive oil when she makes flexes in her bicep, like flops.
Suzanne: And I don't know, I guess that's just me getting sick and tired of these little cry babies.
Suzanne: Can't stand little cry babies, by the way.
Suzanne: And I kind of feel bitchy when I say I can't stand little cry babies, but I can't.
Suzanne: But yeah, I just, I'm still trying to find, you know, that one movie that like straight up gut punches me.
Suzanne: And I haven't really quite found the one this year.
Suzanne: I love body cam.
Suzanne: I really want to see Hokem because I thought Oddity was one of the most brilliant movies I've seen in years and years and years.
Suzanne: So that one's next up on the list.
Suzanne: And the other one I want to see because I am, I am a, I, I, Cronenberg can hit and miss, but I still have not pulled the trigger on watching The Shrouds yet.
Suzanne: But it's Cronenberg.
Suzanne: And it, I want to see it.
Suzanne: I'm just not ready to drop 20 bucks to rent it or buy it.
Suzanne: And let's see what else.
Jeffrey X: So listen, if, if I'm here, you correctly, Suze, what you're saying is you still haven't found what you're looking for.
Suzanne: I, oh God, I can't even quote the lyrics right now.
Gary Hill: She was lost.
Suzanne: I know, she was.
Suzanne: And I went and saw this fucking band twice.
Suzanne: Fuck.
Suzanne: No, I don't know, just I have not found that like gut punch movie of the year yet.
Suzanne: And you guys know what that's like.
Suzanne: All of a sudden you see something, you're like, wow, this is what it's all about.
Suzanne: And no, not yet.
Suzanne: I'm sure I'll find it.
Suzanne: I don't think it's going to be The Shrouds.
Suzanne: I think I'm watching that just to be a completist for Crown and Burb.
Suzanne: But I definitely don't think that's going to be the movie.
Jeffrey X: That's fair.
Jeffrey X: But totally watch Undertone.
Jeffrey X: I can't recommend it highly enough for reals.
Jeffrey X: It's so good.
Suzanne: I know I've been wanting to see it.
Suzanne: Once again, I will see something.
Suzanne: But let me spend an hour and a half looking for something to watch and then get tired and go to bed without watching a single thing.
Suzanne: But yeah, that's kind of just been deep diving around in old 70s stuff.
Suzanne: And yeah, Undertone will be, I'll watch that in the next couple of days.
Suzanne: Even trying to finish watching out documentary now before it leaves Netflix, not gonna happen.
Jeffrey X: Speaking of 70s stuff, have you seen Pretty Poison?
Jeffrey X: Oh, wait.
Gary Hill: Yeah, we did.
Gary Hill: Boy, oh boy.
Suzanne: Uh-huh.
Suzanne: Wow.
Suzanne: Yeah, you're never living that one down, Gary.
Gary Hill: I knew it.
Jeffrey X: There's no shame.
Jeffrey X: There's no shame.
Jeffrey X: We don't think shame on the show.
Gary Hill: Oh, was that?
Jeffrey X: Yeah.
Gary Hill: Oh, that was drunk.
Gary Hill: The day my mom got out of prison.
Jeffrey X: Out of prison.
Gary Hill: Yeah, so good.
Gary Hill: I should do this every show I buy.
Gary Hill: If you guys know me, you're following on social media.
Gary Hill: I buy so many records that I don't know anymore, okay?
Gary Hill: And this is a good one.
Gary Hill: This week, Edgar Winters, White Trash.
Gary Hill: There was kind of a super group that was short-lived with the Winter Brothers and Johnny LaCroix from The Real McCoys and Hang On, Sloopy and Rick Derringer.
Gary Hill: I really enjoyed the fuck out of that thing.
Gary Hill: And so there's that.
Gary Hill: It's rock, it's gospel, it's funk, it's soul.
Gary Hill: It's a lot of things.
Gary Hill: And it's nice too.
Gary Hill: So check that out on your Spotify's or your YouTubes or something.
Gary Hill: Share it on your love life, man.
Gary Hill: Let it shine on me all day long.
Gary Hill: You know, stuff I watched though, not a ton, because I've been watching hockey play-offs and baseball shit.
Gary Hill: And I've access to the Marquee Network now on my Hulu package.
Gary Hill: So I've been watching more of Suzanne's puppies because I wasn't paying for that shit.
Gary Hill: Go Cubs, go!
Suzanne: Go Cubs, go!
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: They deserve the weather today though.
Gary Hill: These are, you know, come on now.
Suzanne: And I was getting my hair done and I didn't see a fucking thing.
Gary Hill: But I got the business move friend.
Gary Hill: My buddy has Sling TV.
Gary Hill: I let him use my shutter.
Gary Hill: He lets me use that Sling TV now.
Gary Hill: And I got to watch Spangooly for the first time in a long time, because for some reason, it's a local channel.
Gary Hill: We cannot get it in the local area.
Gary Hill: Don't ask you why me TV is retarded like that.
Gary Hill: But I get to watch Spangooly and I get to watch, ooh, what's that movie called?
Gary Hill: It's the last Frankenstein movie on the list of Hammer Films.
Gary Hill: Frankenstein and the Monster of the Well, is that the one?
Jeffrey X: Yeah, I was going to say that or Frankenstein must be destroyed.
Gary Hill: Yeah, he showed that this weekend.
Gary Hill: Never saw that one, had a good time with it.
Gary Hill: Peter Cushing has always enjoyed to watch do his thing.
Gary Hill: And it was a weird plot, but I was all over it.
Gary Hill: And he looked more like Quasimodo than he did Frankenstein's Monster.
Gary Hill: But you get that sometimes.
Gary Hill: And I had a good time hanging out with Rich on a Saturday night.
Gary Hill: I haven't done that in a long time.
Gary Hill: So all you folks that got MeTV in your area, just remember, he was ours first, OK?
Gary Hill: We get to share him with you guys now, OK?
Gary Hill: And that's fine.
Jeffrey X: We are grateful.
Jeffrey X: Do not misunderstand.
Gary Hill: And so is he.
Gary Hill: You talk to him about, you know, it's like he's still blown away by any reception like that he gets because he's national now.
Gary Hill: And, you know, when he sees like celebrities or like anybody really mentioned his name outside of Chicago, it just really humbles him.
Suzanne: So I was wandering around one of the cons and came up and started talking to me and put a bat ring on me and said we're married now.
Gary Hill: He's that guy.
Gary Hill: I love Rich, man.
Suzanne: I still have the plastic bat ring.
Gary Hill: Brian has his number on his phone, Suzanne.
Gary Hill: You know that, right?
Gary Hill: It's kind of crazy.
Gary Hill: All the numbers he has on his phone.
Gary Hill: That's one of them.
Gary Hill: Good old Rich.
Gary Hill: I love that guy.
Gary Hill: Glad I could spend time with him.
Gary Hill: Hopefully I could spend time with him this Saturday, too.
Gary Hill: We'll see wrestling's on.
Gary Hill: By the way, I'm really looking forward to Jacob Phetu versus Roman Reigns.
Gary Hill: I want Jacob to win.
Gary Hill: Really bad, but it's probably not going to happen.
Gary Hill: It's like my late night boner.
Gary Hill: Probably never happen either, him being any champion.
Gary Hill: That hurts my feelings.
Gary Hill: But I digress.
Gary Hill: Today, after I watched one of these movies, I need a shower and a Palo Climber, I asked our friend to put Hoppers on his Plex server.
Gary Hill: That is the new Pixar movie that is on digital now.
Gary Hill: And it's interesting.
Gary Hill: It's very interesting.
Gary Hill: It's kind of like Avatar, but they're trying to conserve, you know, rather than destroy nature.
Gary Hill: Basically, the beaver population has just disappeared from the Florida Everglades.
Gary Hill: So, they're trying to basically pull an Avatar and put human minds inside fake beavers to, you know, stimulate the ecosystem, but the other animals come back and yada, yada, yada.
Gary Hill: And it's real funny in parts.
Gary Hill: But then, for some reason, you have to watch the movie.
Gary Hill: It turns into a horror film towards the end of this movie.
Gary Hill: In a real, real, real crazy way.
Gary Hill: And because one becomes a little power hungry.
Gary Hill: And it's, it's, it's usual Pixar stuff.
Gary Hill: It's, it's, it's very, very different.
Gary Hill: I like that it's very, very different.
Gary Hill: But some folks would call this movie, you know, woke or preachy.
Gary Hill: I'm going to tell those just to go, go enjoy something, to go, go enjoy.
Gary Hill: I don't know how much with every release Pixar just more and more gets just, just water, digital water, animated water correctly more and more.
Gary Hill: You get some of that in this movie.
Gary Hill: You get some great voice actors.
Gary Hill: I can't say it's top tier Pixar for me.
Gary Hill: I'm looking at the guy right now in front of my screen here.
Gary Hill: Mr.
Gary Hill: Mike Sullivan, Monsters Inc.
Gary Hill: Hopefully, hopefully we get another one of those.
Gary Hill: I would love to watch that.
Gary Hill: Um, but yeah.
Jeffrey X: You realize every time you say the word Beaver, I just laugh, right?
Jeffrey X: Hey, Jessica.
Jeffrey X: How's your Beaver?
Jeffrey X: Great.
Suzanne: How's your Beaver?
Jeffrey X: Busy as ever.
Suzanne: Our characters had pet beavers.
Suzanne: Sure.
Jeffrey X: The Beaver is the official animal of Canada.
Jeffrey X: He's our national mascot.
Suzanne: It's a noble creature.
Jeffrey X: Okay, girls, everyone knows that Beaver's favorite food is wood.
Jeffrey X: I just hope we brought along enough of it for our three-day galactic space journey.
Jeffrey X: So let's do the math.
Jeffrey X: If Robin's Beaver devours six inches of wood every half hour, and Jessica's Beaver devours eight inches of wood every 45 minutes, how much wood will I need to keep both of these Beavers well-fed all weekend long?
Jeffrey X: While you figure it out at home, how about we sing you a song about our Beavers?
Jeffrey X: You do not get to hear the Beaver's song.
Jeffrey X: It is a sweet song about friendship, and you guys are being disgusting, and Beavers are adorable.
Jeffrey X: No arguments here.
Gary Hill: Two Beavers are better than one.
Gary Hill: It's second to none, ask anyone.
Gary Hill: That's for you, how much of mother fans out there.
Gary Hill: Let's sing a song about our Beavers.
Gary Hill: Like, God bless you, my sir, wherever you are right now, whatever planet we're in, but for some reason I never watched any Star Trek episodes, original series, but I've watched movies a bunch, so I watched part two of Rathicon, and when you watch part two, these are the rules to the Trek nerd universe that you have to watch three and four, because that is the Spock trilogy.
Gary Hill: Star Trek 2, spoilers if you get yours open, Spock dies trying to save the Enterprise at the end of the thing.
Gary Hill: Part three, Kirk just, you know, and the part two.
Suzanne: Well, it's called The Search For Spock For No Reason What You'll Ever.
Gary Hill: And they go looking, they go finding Suzanne, shut your mouth, okay?
Gary Hill: His mom gets shot in the space, into the Genesis Project.
Gary Hill: Spoiler alert.
Gary Hill: And he gets resurrected.
Gary Hill: I'm trying to explain to you, Suzanne, okay?
Gary Hill: So they call it Search For Spock, because Kirk's son in Replacement's topic go to go look, they go search for Spock, you know what?
Gary Hill: She finds him and has awkward sex with him Vulcan style, okay?
Gary Hill: Not in the way you think if you're not seeing the film.
Gary Hill: Don't do that, Suzanne.
Gary Hill: And then part four of the one I saw the most on cable, The Voyage Home, of course, The One With The Whales and Alameda.
Gary Hill: And I love the Alameda joke, and I love Bones in the Hospital, Kieran the Woman's Diabetes.
Gary Hill: It's all a great V.
Gary Hill: I love these Trek films, but I never watched the original series.
Gary Hill: And right away, they had a really creepy undertone to them.
Gary Hill: And I wonder where that was.
Gary Hill: I had seen the writing teams they had for these episodes.
Gary Hill: And people showed up on there, and like George Clayton Johnson, and fucking Richard Matheson.
Gary Hill: Robert Block?
Gary Hill: Robert Block.
Gary Hill: Oh yeah.
Suzanne: Fuck yeah, Carlin Ellison.
Gary Hill: Who else is on this list of Twilight Zone people?
Gary Hill: Jerome Sixley.
Jeffrey X: DC Fontana, of course.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: So a lot of these guys that wrote these were Twilight Zone people, and a lot of them had like weird Twilight Zone vibes to them.
Gary Hill: I couldn't figure out why until I actually looked up the writers for this.
Gary Hill: And now I got a woman who I want to work with.
Suzanne: Carlin Ellison and City, City on the Edge of Forever.
Gary Hill: Yeah, I got to walk, I got to walk on the road trip.
Gary Hill: Yes.
Jeffrey X: But Wrath of Khan was totally Nicholas Meyer.
Jeffrey X: And if you've never seen Time After Time, that is the greatest time travel movie ever made.
Jeffrey X: Oh, he made it.
Jeffrey X: It is amazing.
Suzanne: The best.
Suzanne: He made too many.
Gary Hill: The best of all time is, I keep saying on a good day, First Contact is my favorite Trek film and that was his too.
Gary Hill: So that tells you a lot.
Gary Hill: Nicholas Meyer was the pulse.
Jeffrey X: Did he do the 7% solution that Sherlock Holmes flick too?
Gary Hill: I don't know.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: I think he did.
Gary Hill: I really like Drunk in Detroit with Drunk Jamie Cromwell.
Gary Hill: It's just a lot of fun.
Jeffrey X: That will do you pig.
Gary Hill: Don't start that now.
Gary Hill: Don't open that can of worms.
Gary Hill: That's going to happen one day, okay?
Gary Hill: Because I really want to see that sheep detective, Hugh Jackman, really bad.
Gary Hill: So, you know, it's going to inspire something in my brain to say, we're going to do babe and Gary's going to have a good cry, okay?
Gary Hill: Okay.
Gary Hill: You know why?
Gary Hill: Because, you know, the end, man.
Gary Hill: I'm a babe pig in the city too.
Gary Hill: Suzanne, there's an adorable chihuahua with broke legs who's on a wheelchair and his name is Fleelick, okay?
Gary Hill: Don't argue with me, Suzanne.
Suzanne: I will not argue with you.
Jeffrey X: That is babe beyond Thunderdome.
Gary Hill: And then we're going to do, we'll do the Paddington films too, because I want to, okay?
Gary Hill: And we're going to talk about Bear who loves to make Marmalade, okay?
Gary Hill: We're going to talk about that for three movies.
Gary Hill: I'm there for it, okay?
Gary Hill: Except for that creepy moment where the mom finds Paddington and she gives him that glare and they realize it's the same mother, I mean, the same lady from Shape of Water.
Gary Hill: And she looks at him, but she looks at the fish man, but she wants to fuck him.
Gary Hill: The same way she looks at Paddington, makes you worry about that goddamn Bear.
Gary Hill: Is all I'm saying, you know?
Jeffrey X: Does she want to bring him back?
Gary Hill: That raincoat's coming off.
Gary Hill: The raincoat's coming off.
Gary Hill: He's going to leave the boots on, though.
Jeffrey X: John, I love this show.
Suzanne: You can leave your hat on.
Gary Hill: Dude, you just did that.
Jeffrey X: I heard that.
Gary Hill: That's where the sandwich is.
Gary Hill: You have to leave the hat on, because he needs that post-corded snack.
Gary Hill: And that's that marmalade sandwich, you know?
Gary Hill: We have to stop making fun of the bag.
Suzanne: Sidebar, you can leave your hat on, was the Garter Belt song at my wedding.
Gary Hill: I feel so religious right now, but my love for that bear is like, you know, it's like sullied now.
Jeffrey X: I'll be in my bed.
Gary Hill: But yeah, Regional Trek, I'm really digging it so far.
Gary Hill: I'm about four episodes in.
Gary Hill: I've watched other series of Star Trek, but never the original series.
Gary Hill: And I love all these characters, which surprises me.
Gary Hill: I've never watched any of these before.
Jeffrey X: The Doomsday Machine is my favorite original series episode ever.
Jeffrey X: William Wyndham.
Jeffrey X: Fuck, yes.
Gary Hill: I'm going to come down to it.
Gary Hill: You know, William Shennick and say he went into space all he wants to, but Scotty is actually in space.
Gary Hill: He has ashes on the Russian space station.
Gary Hill: So guess what?
Gary Hill: Scotty, your favorite engineer, is in space right now, people.
Gary Hill: So let them live with you, OK?
Jeffrey X: Well, Shatner's not dead yet, but he's on my Deadpool for this year.
Jeffrey X: So, OK.
Suzanne: Oh, one of those really nasty Chicago winners.
Suzanne: God, it was a while ago.
Suzanne: But for Christmas, I got Pat like three, three seasons of the original series because he fucking loves it.
Suzanne: And it was so fucking cold.
Suzanne: We didn't want to do anything.
Suzanne: So we came home.
Suzanne: We ended up drinking through what little beer we had in the fridge, but we had a brand new bottle of Jim Beam.
Suzanne: So we're playing drinking games with a bottle of Jim Beam while we are watching Star Trek.
Suzanne: Oh my God, I can't believe we made it past three episodes.
Suzanne: But we did.
Jeffrey X: Just pretend it's Romulan ale and you'll be fine.
Gary Hill: Look at that, Ted Cassidy is the Gorn.
Gary Hill: Lovely.
Gary Hill: You guys don't know that name.
Gary Hill: That's Lurch from the Edsang people.
Suzanne: Oh my God.
Jeffrey X: It's the bionic Bigfoot.
Gary Hill: That too, yeah.
Gary Hill: Oh my gosh.
Gary Hill: But yeah, that's about it.
Gary Hill: I've watched other stuff too, but nothing I'll get into right now.
Gary Hill: But look, Suzanne, Diane's come back to Chicago in November.
Gary Hill: Diane Franklin.
Gary Hill: Oh, I know.
Suzanne: I'm actually going to try to make that show.
Gary Hill: Well, I'm going.
Gary Hill: So if you want to go, you can go.
Gary Hill: Yeah, I think I got to hug it out with the case.
Gary Hill: You'd be the bigger person because they're coming to that show and because of the screen people.
Gary Hill: And I get to meet Marlee Shelton, which is one of my all time crushes because the Sandlot and her shaking her butt in that big green dress, just me staring at it.
Jeffrey X: You know, Diane is going to sign your autograph and then go home with somebody else.
Gary Hill: Well, you know, that happens, you know, it's just, yeah.
Suzanne: No, she is such a doll.
Suzanne: She's like one of the nicest people I've ever met.
Suzanne: And we were actually telling each other ghost stories.
Suzanne: She was telling me stuff that happened when she was working on Amityville, telling her about the haunted house I lived in.
Suzanne: She's just such an amazing lady.
Suzanne: I just love her.
Gary Hill: Yeah, I can't wait.
Gary Hill: Zoe Bell, too.
Gary Hill: Looking forward to that.
Gary Hill: Yeah, all the stuff.
Suzanne: Oh, gosh, she's going to be there, too?
Suzanne: Yeah.
Jeffrey X: Oh, yeah.
Gary Hill: That's the Xena Warrior Princess.
Gary Hill: The one doing all the shit.
Gary Hill: So there's that, yeah.
Suzanne: I loved her in Death Proof.
Gary Hill: I love Death Proof, too, but I was a big avid Xena watcher, and all the big stunts, that's all Zoe doing, all the big stunts.
Gary Hill: You know, so.
Suzanne: Oh, yeah, there was a documentary about stunt people, and I remember her being featured prominently.
Suzanne: Yeah.
Gary Hill: Badass woman.
Gary Hill: But I'll leave it at this.
Gary Hill: This is the Mother's Day episode.
Gary Hill: There'll be a Father's Day episode, too.
Gary Hill: I'll talk about it at the end of the show, coming around that time, because, you know, we can fuck about daddy in this show, goddammit.
Gary Hill: But Mothers, Love Your Mothers, this is two movies about mother, mother-to-be, mothers who have lost, entitled, You Got To Steal Somebody's Baby, and, you know, that's what these films are about, them stealing somebody's baby, and you know what?
Gary Hill: One of them really succeeds at it in the sense that it very effectively, and so sorry, Mothers, if you listen to the show, you don't want to get triggered or grossed out.
Gary Hill: It's going to be unsuccessful.
Gary Hill: You know, you leave now.
Gary Hill: We love you anyway, though, you know.
Gary Hill: I already told the coworker who listed the show now, who's a very religious person, and he said, I played the one that was a Jane Sullen Bobbitt with The Muppet Show.
Gary Hill: For my family, we had to turn it off.
Gary Hill: I was like, well, there's a reason why there's that explicit sign on the thing there, you know.
Gary Hill: It's just, it's not for your family, you know.
Gary Hill: And this show is not for your family either.
Gary Hill: So we're bringing it into it, but two films in question.
Gary Hill: It's a favorite of my mother's, actually, so this is special to me.
Gary Hill: 1992's, The Grand Daddy, and we'll talk about this, of all these lifetime films that you got now, this is the blueprint.
Gary Hill: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, starring the great Annabella Sciorra, who you can watch right now on The Tulsa King.
Gary Hill: I love that TV show.
Gary Hill: I'm glad she's coming back.
Gary Hill: Rebecca DeMorne, just calling, triggering words and I'm still horny people, I'm still horny.
Gary Hill: And the great Matt McCoy, we'll talk about him too.
Gary Hill: And we're going to talk about them all after the trailer.
Trailer: The Bartels couldn't believe how fortunate they were to find Peyton.
Trailer: I adore children, Mrs.
Trailer: Bartel.
Trailer: I love being with them, I love taking care of them.
Trailer: For me, it's the next best thing to actually being a mother.
Trailer: But they didn't find her.
Trailer: She seems terrific.
Trailer: What's the catch?
Trailer: There is no catch.
Trailer: I think she's great.
Trailer: She chose them.
Trailer: You never let an attractive woman take a power position in your home.
Trailer: All I'm saying is you have to watch her back.
Trailer: Now, their innocence is her opportunity.
Trailer: He has your eyes, you know.
Trailer: Do you really think so?
Trailer: Their trust...
Trailer: Faye's been great.
Trailer: Has she?
Trailer: I don't know what we would have done without her....is her weapon.
Trailer: If something happens to my mommy, would you take care of me?
Trailer: Of course I would.
Trailer: And their destruction...
Trailer: There's only one woman for me.
Trailer: That's all you need.
Trailer: Her triumph.
Trailer: When your husband makes love to you, it's my face he sees.
Trailer: Get out of our house.
Trailer: She's turning to me, Michael, just like she said she would.
Trailer: Call the police.
Trailer: Claire, calm down.
Trailer: You don't know what she's capable of.
Trailer: Claire!
Trailer: Anyone can have an accident.
Trailer: Michael?
Trailer: What goes around comes around.
Trailer: It's my family.
Trailer: The hand that rocks the cradle.
Gary Hill: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, 1992.
Gary Hill: Yeah, if you don't know this one, you should, in my opinion.
Gary Hill: I really dug it still.
Gary Hill: After her sex offender husband gets caught in the act and kills himself, there's more to that than that, an embittered pregnant widow loses her child and embarks on a mission of vengeance against one of her husband's victims and the woman's family.
Gary Hill: This is directed by Curtis Hansen, who made much better things in this movie.
Gary Hill: LA Confidential, Eight Mile with Eminem.
Gary Hill: The Bedroom Window.
Gary Hill: Bedroom Window.
Gary Hill: One that I think is underrated, great film, The River Wild with Kevin Bacon and Meryl Streep.
Gary Hill: And David, who is the last name I can't pronounce, Strathairn.
Gary Hill: Strathairn.
Gary Hill: Strathairn.
Gary Hill: And I want to say John C.
Gary Hill: Roddy was the other bad guy on the boat.
Gary Hill: But, yeah.
Suzanne: Silent Partner.
Suzanne: Silent Partner.
Jeffrey X: Wrong Kid Dad.
Jeffrey X: Silent Partner.
Jeffrey X: Why didn't I know that?
Jeffrey X: That's a great movie.
Jeffrey X: That is one of my favorites.
Jeffrey X: That is making the best Canadian Christmas movie ever.
Suzanne: It is so fucking, it is one of the best fucking heist movies.
Suzanne: It's so just, it's kind of low key, but it keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole fucking time.
Jeffrey X: It's the best mall shootout since fucking Commando or Rats.
Suzanne: Invasion USA.
Gary Hill: Oh, dude.
Jeffrey X: You are not wrong, my friend.
Suzanne: No, I know I'm not.
Gary Hill: Oh, and speaking of films I watched about 28 times on cable, Casing Mavericks, the Gerard Butler Surfer movie.
Gary Hill: OK, so there's that.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: Don't ask you why I watched that 20 times.
Gary Hill: I can't believe it kept me on one of those things.
Gary Hill: But he directed all those great things and he directed this, which is bad.
Gary Hill: Let's see what the writer Amanda Silver has done with her life.
Gary Hill: Look at that.
Gary Hill: Writer, best known for Avatar, Fire and Ash.
Gary Hill: I don't hate those movies.
Gary Hill: Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
Gary Hill: Great, great reboots of those movies, in my opinion.
Gary Hill: And Jurassic World, not so much.
Gary Hill: But I like the first two things, actually.
Gary Hill: I'm not going to lie to you.
Gary Hill: But yes, again, starring, starring, starring.
Gary Hill: Annabella Sciorra as Claire, Rebecca DiMorne as Peyton, our hand that rocks the cradle and giver of milk.
Gary Hill: We'll talk about that, I'm sure.
Gary Hill: Matt McCoy as Claire's husband, Michael.
Gary Hill: You may know that guy from a great big movie called The Vomitable.
Gary Hill: Of course, Police Candy Five, a sign at Miami Beach.
Gary Hill: I love Police Candy series.
Gary Hill: One day we'll do all of them.
Gary Hill: I don't even care.
Gary Hill: Ernie Hudson as our special friend, Solomon.
Gary Hill: You know Ernie Hudson from Lots of Things.
Gary Hill: Julianne Moore.
Gary Hill: Still very bangable.
Gary Hill: In this movie, especially, Marlene, Claire's friend.
Gary Hill: In Michael's Ex-Lover, you find out Madeline Zima.
Gary Hill: I think second time in this show.
Gary Hill: I'm not going to confirm this, but she used to be on The Nanny, playing the youngest of those shows.
Gary Hill: I watched a lot of The Nanny, don't ask you why.
Gary Hill: Also in Mr.
Gary Hill: Nanny with Hulk Hogan, but was she in this film?
Gary Hill: Come on, she'll be important.
Suzanne: She was the kid.
Suzanne: Oh God, that was really stupid.
Suzanne: She was a kid.
Suzanne: She was the girl child.
Gary Hill: There was two girl child and I'm mistaken.
Gary Hill: That was another non-actress that was in Long Kiss Good Night.
Gary Hill: I thought that was her for some reason.
Gary Hill: Screaming Gina Davis about life is pain.
Gary Hill: That wasn't her.
Gary Hill: She was in Mr.
Gary Hill: Nanny, which is delightfully stupid that I happen to like that movie.
Gary Hill: Other folks in this movie, last person I'll mention because you have to.
Gary Hill: We just talked about Trekker in the whole opener now.
Gary Hill: The Q himself, John Delancey, as the very rapey, does it with one hand and no glove, Dr.
Gary Hill: Victor Mott, the rapist who kills himself, so it's appropriate.
Suzanne: He was trying not to spread the Q virus.
Gary Hill: Well, I was hoping that could come up with a good Patrick Stewart voice to scold the Q in this episode, but I can't do it.
Gary Hill: I can't do a Patrick Stewart.
Gary Hill: You know, really good at on We Hate Movies, by the way.
Gary Hill: I can't stop laughing sometimes, but I digress.
Gary Hill: This is a film the mother watched a ton, and I watched a ton for that reason, because she would stop watching it.
Gary Hill: And this began a lot of the lifetime stuff.
Gary Hill: I mean, there was a whole series of these, and I've been to watch a whole lot of these, and I may go back and watch them again.
Gary Hill: Single White Female, Sleeping With The Enemy, Pacific Heights, Unlawful Entry, The Good Son.
Gary Hill: I mean, these were all like very stocky films, and you know, this was like the crux of all those, and you know, I think Single White Female came first, so I don't even remember, but there was a lot of these, they were coming out one time, and these films are the glue, the blueprint of all that trash you guys watch now in lifetime.
Gary Hill: And I think that's important, is create a whole genre of films that was not movie of the week.
Gary Hill: They were worldwide everywhere.
Gary Hill: So I will kick it to Suzanne first, because I want to hear access stuff, you know, because he's so, he told me, he has some time stuff to say.
Gary Hill: So Suzanne, Hand That Rocks The Cradle, what do you think?
Suzanne: Well, I actually saw this in the theater when it came out.
Suzanne: Yes, I'm that old.
Jeffrey X: You poor thing.
Suzanne: Oh, God.
Suzanne: I mean, it's for me, it's one of those things re-watching it.
Suzanne: Actually, it's only this I watched in the theater.
Suzanne: This is the second time I watched it.
Suzanne: I watched it.
Suzanne: All right, we're good.
Suzanne: I know everything I need to know.
Suzanne: And honestly, a lot of it, when I was watching the movie, you know, usually over time things fade.
Suzanne: Now it's pretty much a new scene for seeing what was coming up and around.
Suzanne: And I will, I got to, it's Hanson.
Suzanne: I got to give the man credit.
Suzanne: He did create kind of that softened atmosphere while putting this poor woman in such a jeopardized spot the whole time.
Suzanne: But I'm just going to personally say this, if someone that looked like Rebecca DeMornay came to my house to be my nanny, I would be like, get the fuck out.
Suzanne: There's absolutely no way your fucking beautiful ass is going to be in my house.
Suzanne: I will fucking kill you first.
Gary Hill: She is going to plow her husband, that's all I'm saying, okay?
Suzanne: And, you know, it's like they're little, for me, it's little bits popped out at me.
Suzanne: I didn't even take a whole lot of notes on either of these movies because I was kind of kicked back and just letting it roll.
Suzanne: And I just, I forgot, the only thing I really truly forgot was that Ernie Hudson played a handicapped man.
Suzanne: And he is the most standout person in this entire movie.
Suzanne: All he's doing is trying to, he forms a kin, Emma, that's a little, that's, that's the girl child's name, Emma.
Suzanne: And it develops a bit of a kinship with her, always, you know, kind of looking out for her, looking over, over the family because the family was so kind to him.
Suzanne: And they, he's the one who sees her deviousness, which I'm sorry, out of the gate, it was pretty fucking obvious.
Suzanne: I mean, there really wasn't, I'm sorry, if my doctor sexually molested me.
Suzanne: Do you not think I would know everything there was to know about his family?
Suzanne: Please.
Suzanne: Totally.
Suzanne: And yet this woman, oh, hi, my name's Peyton.
Suzanne: I want to be your nanny.
Suzanne: And I'll, sure, come on in.
Jeffrey X: I live on the second floor.
Jeffrey X: I live upstairs from you.
Suzanne: My name is Luca.
Suzanne: Okay.
Suzanne: But for me, the set up feels, I mean, once again, it's a product of the 90s, where they just really didn't think anybody thought, for lack of a better term, it was before the internet.
Suzanne: But you still had newspapers and libraries.
Suzanne: You would know.
Suzanne: And I'm sorry that once again, this is me being a little too literal.
Suzanne: Do you not think the wife's picture is going to be in the paper alongside of her committed suicide, sexual molesting husband?
Suzanne: Of course it is.
Suzanne: And these people just seem completely and totally oblivious.
Suzanne: You can see right off the bat that she is completely manipulating everybody.
Suzanne: And thank God Marlene started seeing through it.
Suzanne: Things never kind of made sense.
Suzanne: I mean, once again, I know it's that's how the whole thing rolled.
Suzanne: But let's be honest, the poor woman was gaslit.
Suzanne: She was manipulated.
Suzanne: She knew she was being manipulated.
Suzanne: But yet everybody was like, oh, no, no, no, you're just pregnant shit, blah, blah, blah, postpartum what blah, blah, blah.
Suzanne: The only person that ever had her back was Solomon.
Suzanne: Her husband was even, you know, well, you know, you lost my thing, which Peyton took out of her purse and shredded and then pounded the fuck out of some walls.
Suzanne: But I have to give Rebecca DeMornay credit for that whole unhinged pounding of the walls.
Suzanne: And that was some pretty good acting, in my opinion.
Suzanne: But it just, everything, it just, it then again, maybe it's just me that I would have seen through this from the bat.
Suzanne: I just feel like she was, they tried to make her, Annabella or Claire in this case, be like this put together woman who was obviously not.
Suzanne: But they found all of the, I want her to be a lot tougher.
Suzanne: I mean, yeah, to admit, in Act III, she was tougher.
Suzanne: And the only person that had her back was Solomon.
Suzanne: It's just, I don't know.
Suzanne: I just find, I find a lot of it.
Suzanne: I think it's just, you know, age and cynicism to be cliched.
Suzanne: Is it a good movie?
Suzanne: Yeah, Curtis Hansen did a fantastic job with the material.
Suzanne: It played well.
Suzanne: And it really is, you know, a psychological watching this woman completely and totally manipulate this entire family and trying to manipulate all those around her.
Suzanne: I mean, turning her daughter against her.
Suzanne: And I'll let the boys talk about the next thing.
Gary Hill: But she's in, she helped her care.
Gary Hill: She went to come on.
Gary Hill: Oh, come on, it has been for Christ's sake.
Gary Hill: Come on out, you know.
Suzanne: Yeah.
Gary Hill: I mean, it was, she forgot she had it and she went with it, you know.
Suzanne: It wasn't a masterful manipulation.
Suzanne: It was, you know, pretty, you know, hit you in the face with it.
Suzanne: Is it a bad movie?
Suzanne: Not even by a stretch.
Suzanne: But there was no, there was no, fuck, what am I trying to say?
Suzanne: Nuance.
Suzanne: I guess that's it, there is just no nuance.
Suzanne: It does hit the psychological quite a bit, but it's pretty much black and white from beginning to end.
Suzanne: Although the ending scene, the third act is definitely worth its weight.
Suzanne: Even though, you know, Matt McCoy, who I think is now pimping reverse mortgages, both my legs are broken, you're on your own, bitch.
Suzanne: Have at it.
Suzanne: The police are just useless.
Suzanne: Well, shock and surprise.
Suzanne: But yeah, I mean, it's just it, it needed a little more nuance.
Suzanne: And that's my final thought.
Gary Hill: And now, the man of the hour, the man with the power, the man too sweet to be sour.
Gary Hill: I guess now it's better to hang up on the seat than daddy.
Gary Hill: Jeffy X.
Gary Hill: Martin, what are your thoughts, sir?
Jeffrey X: I think Sue's hit a lot of the things that I was going to say, but I'm going to go ahead and say them anyway, because I feel like I am missing something with The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, because a lot of people really love it.
Jeffrey X: My wife thinks it's great.
Jeffrey X: And that's a direct quote.
Jeffrey X: But to me, it's kind of mid.
Jeffrey X: It's the bland that rocks the cradle.
Jeffrey X: And like you said, Gary, it is a prototype for every Hallmark movie that came after, and it leaves me with more questions than answers.
Jeffrey X: And the first one is, did anyone ever figure out why the logo for Hollywood pictures was the Sphinx?
Suzanne: Somebody had a hard on for Egypt?
Jeffrey X: Dude, it's the wrong country, bruv.
Jeffrey X: Wrong country.
Jeffrey X: Also, was it ever explained what happened to Ernie Hudson after Ghostbusters 2 that made him developmentally challenged?
Jeffrey X: And why was the only black man in this entire movie, the one with cognitive issues?
Jeffrey X: I don't know what I expected from this movie, but it wasn't Winston Gump.
Jeffrey X: But here's my first actual question about this movie.
Jeffrey X: Why did Claire need a nanny?
Jeffrey X: She's only got two kids.
Jeffrey X: One of them is old enough to talk and feed herself and wipe her own ass.
Jeffrey X: Now, when I think of people who need nannies, they have either a lot of kids or a ton of outside responsibilities.
Jeffrey X: Okay, Claire had asthma.
Jeffrey X: I get it.
Jeffrey X: But she didn't have a job besides volunteering at the botanical gardens.
Jeffrey X: She wasn't even getting paid.
Jeffrey X: With a little rescheduling and some better time management, there wouldn't have been any need to hire Peyton.
Jeffrey X: Which isn't to say that Peyton wouldn't have wormed her way into their lives to enact her sloppy revenge, but it would have been a different film.
Jeffrey X: I mean, when you have a miscarriage because you married Q, and he was figuring human ladies for his day job, and he got caught, so he hurled himself back out into the continuum, you're going to feel a need to take it out on somebody.
Jeffrey X: I get it.
Jeffrey X: So, okay.
Jeffrey X: I really liked Rebecca DeMornay as Peyton.
Jeffrey X: She got that wild eyes.
Jeffrey X: And that's the first thing I used to look for in a partner.
Jeffrey X: Get you a girl who looks at you like Peyton looks at inhalers.
Jeffrey X: And it's great that she's so unhinged because DeMornay is the only character with a spark of life in this entire film.
Jeffrey X: Annabella Sciorra has all the personality of a loaf of sourdough.
Jeffrey X: And Matt McCoy as her husband has the attitude of an insurance selling koala.
Jeffrey X: His facial hair is his character and he makes that solid choice to lie to his wife.
Jeffrey X: You dumb piece of shit fuck.
Jeffrey X: I know it was about a surprise birthday party, but why would you lie about smoking?
Jeffrey X: Don't.
Jeffrey X: You can't.
Jeffrey X: That stench gets everywhere, especially your breath and you are a fucking dumbass.
Jeffrey X: The ending is telegraphed in the middle of the first act.
Jeffrey X: Julianne Moore is absolutely wasted as this chain-smoking, hard-hearted, real estate salesperson.
Jeffrey X: And then when the ending comes, it feels so abrupt.
Jeffrey X: There's all this fighting and baby monitoring and then Matt McCoy's in the basement and in the calmest voice ever.
Jeffrey X: He just goes, both my legs are broken.
Jeffrey X: Thank you.
Jeffrey X: He doesn't even sound like he's in pain.
Jeffrey X: His entire performance is a no-sale.
Jeffrey X: They may as well have cast Randy Orton.
Jeffrey X: So here's a breakdown.
Jeffrey X: Everyone in this movie sucks, except for Rebecca DeMornay and the oldest daughter, who is not Mara Wilson, but should be.
Jeffrey X: Why didn't they recognize Peyton as the former wife of the late Dr.
Jeffrey X: Mott from the TV news?
Jeffrey X: Really, it comes down to recognizable wind chimes?
Jeffrey X: Jesus Christ, that's like having Joanna Gaines be your crazed killer.
Jeffrey X: The script doesn't go far enough to be a real horror movie.
Jeffrey X: Glass from a greenhouse roof falls on Julianne Moore and that makes her get died.
Jeffrey X: I don't buy it.
Jeffrey X: There were enough planters for her to hide under.
Jeffrey X: She'd have been fine.
Jeffrey X: Also, in what decade is it okay to tell someone, don't fuck with me retard?
Jeffrey X: Never.
Jeffrey X: Never.
Jeffrey X: I'll say this.
Jeffrey X: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle is fast paced.
Jeffrey X: Peyton likes to rock it like a boogie woogie choo choo train.
Jeffrey X: Train.
Jeffrey X: But it's not something I go back to.
Jeffrey X: It's too TV movie-ish and is painted with broad strokes like you're fixing up the east side of the house.
Jeffrey X: And it winds up too quickly, just like a Dan Curtis premature orgasm.
Jeffrey X: The real star of The Hand That Rocks The Cradle is pleats.
Gary Hill: Pleated slacks.
Jeffrey X: Pleated skirts.
Gary Hill: I bet their sucks for pleated.
Jeffrey X: I love pleats.
Jeffrey X: They hide my beer belly and they make me feel safe.
Jeffrey X: But you can't wear them anymore because they look stupid.
Jeffrey X: It's like those mice from Cinderella made your clothes.
Jeffrey X: Is your belly like a bowl full of spaghetti?
Jeffrey X: Pleats to care that in the 90s.
Jeffrey X: Now we just wear big shirts.
Suzanne: Well, the one thing I really want to add to that, if it's okay.
Jeffrey X: Of course.
Suzanne: She only had one sexy dress and then she puts on this fucking big floral, you know, go-to-church dress instead.
Jeffrey X: That's because she got that dress as a freebie when she bought three bottles of Avon Roll-On deodorant.
Suzanne: I mean, come on.
Suzanne: I've got five fucking sexy black dresses.
Suzanne: If something got on one, I can pivot.
Suzanne: But she only had one sexy dress and then she puts on that big fucking frumpy go-to-church dress.
Suzanne: I mean, I'm sorry, but yeah, no.
Jeffrey X: I don't have any sexy dresses and that is my fault.
Jeffrey X: I realize that.
Jeffrey X: I should go to Cole's.
Gary Hill: TJ Maxx, please.
Gary Hill: Come on now, you know.
Jeffrey X: No I don't have any TJ Maxx cash.
Jeffrey X: I got Cole's cash out the wazoo.
Suzanne: Oh no, the second you walk in the store, they'll give you 50 bucks just for being there.
Jeffrey X: No shit, bro, and that's why I keep going to Cole's.
Gary Hill: Man, the day I can't afford to be in Maxx and Issa, I don't want to live anymore, okay, is all I'll say about that, you know.
Gary Hill: It's just, uh, no.
Gary Hill: Oh, this, like I said, was a favorite of my mother's.
Gary Hill: I watched it a bunch.
Gary Hill: I, uh, I'll say one thing.
Gary Hill: Some Solomon's main job in the film was to repair a fence for this family, and it really didn't help in the finale.
Gary Hill: You know, it was a very strong fence because when Peyton fell at the roof through the fence, she was not impaled by the fence, which she should have been, but she had it broken, you know.
Gary Hill: She could have slowly got up, you know, and did like Matt McCoy and then the basement.
Gary Hill: He didn't fall that far down.
Gary Hill: It was maybe what, three, four feet?
Suzanne: Yeah, I would have had a bruise on my ass and my ego would have been bruised, too.
Gary Hill: He landed on his side, I think, and all of a sudden I was like, oh, my legs are broken.
Gary Hill: Go take care of this family, you know.
Jeffrey X: No, take some protein pills, bruv.
Gary Hill: Take your protein pills and get your nanny on me.
Gary Hill: But yeah, I dig a lot of stuff that the film does, and I was never down with the calling him retarded scenes, but I should be told my aunt worked for a place called the New Hope Center for like a decade.
Gary Hill: They helped differently abled people, you know, do like they ran parties for them and helped them good jobs and yada yada yada.
Gary Hill: So at a very young age, I had a deep respect for these people.
Gary Hill: So yeah, that part was she called them a retard.
Gary Hill: I still was exorcist the eyes, it's very true.
Gary Hill: I was still very erect, but I was still very offended at the same time.
Gary Hill: So I had very strange feeling thinking about that scene, you know, because the very cold eyes, plus you know, that statement, made my penis very confused.
Gary Hill: I like it here.
Gary Hill: It really was, you know.
Gary Hill: She's really great at making my penis confused in this movie, Rebecca DeMorne.
Gary Hill: But the whole idea of, you know, her taking over, you know, I guess her end game is to steal the baby, like in the next movie, and steal her husband and her other kid, perhaps.
Gary Hill: I don't know.
Gary Hill: But her end game was not really, you know, a little blooper out of the way, you know.
Jeffrey X: She reminds me of the babe.
Suzanne: No, her end game was straight up that baby.
Suzanne: She didn't give a shit.
Suzanne: She was trying to turn everybody against Claire.
Suzanne: No, if that kid had fallen down the stairs, she would have walked over her.
Suzanne: No, all she wanted was that baby, because that was the baby that I think she thought was stolen from her.
Suzanne: Oh, for sure.
Gary Hill: But this film has parts to that love.
Gary Hill: I'm not going to lie to you.
Gary Hill: The part that wouldn't play on a playground is the part where she sees somebody.
Gary Hill: I forget if she verbally attacks or pushes her down, the little girl Emma, and she grabs this kid's arm.
Gary Hill: I imagine she fucking broke it.
Gary Hill: I forget what she says to the kid, but you know what?
Gary Hill: If you see any schoolyard, they have monitors out there as far as the people who watch the kids.
Gary Hill: Not one goddamn person said anything when she grabbed that kid's arm.
Gary Hill: I don't want to believe that.
Suzanne: No, she literally lifted that kid up.
Suzanne: She should have dislocated his shoulder.
Gary Hill: She probably did.
Jeffrey X: That was Mario.
Jeffrey X: That was her and Mario down at the schoolyard.
Suzanne: Yeah.
Gary Hill: I can't whistle right now, so I'm not going to do that.
Gary Hill: But her already has had a Solomon, although he was differently able as a person, mentally ill, that's a wrong choice of words, mentally handicapped.
Gary Hill: There we go.
Gary Hill: He has the best head on his shoulders throughout this whole thing.
Gary Hill: He saw the writing on the wall right away when you see him, because of course she was just a mother, so her breasts are still very fresh.
Gary Hill: So not only was she going to steal her life, she was going to steal her option to feed her child to the foot where the child just straight projects his mom's titty, just only wants to de-mourn a titty.
Gary Hill: I can see the distinction.
Gary Hill: As I said, cold eyes, people, nice titties too.
Jeffrey X: I mean, of course he had the best head on his shoulders because his haircut was halfway between kid and play.
Gary Hill: Hola, hola, hey.
Gary Hill: Oh, one day we're not going to do a house party.
Gary Hill: We're going to do class act.
Gary Hill: We're going to have a good time.
Suzanne: I want to do house party.
Suzanne: Love house party.
Gary Hill: Class act is better.
Gary Hill: One day.
Gary Hill: People will do both.
Jeffrey X: I mean, Gary's right, bro.
Jeffrey X: We can do both, but I mean, Gary's right.
Suzanne: Yeah, I think we should.
Suzanne: I don't know.
Gary Hill: I love a real pajama jam, okay, is all I'll say about that, you know.
Suzanne: I'll even wear my pajamas for that show.
Jeffrey X: Shit, I will too.
Gary Hill: I don't even have any.
Jeffrey X: I'll just wear my big ass Darth Vader t-shirt.
Jeffrey X: It's fine.
Gary Hill: But like you said, it's very predictable, very, very, you know, paint by numbers.
Gary Hill: But that's that's this kind of film.
Gary Hill: This is a film that we mentioned created a whole genre of films like this, where I'll watch trash on Lifetime.
Gary Hill: I'll watch it all day long because you know what?
Gary Hill: It knows what kind of movie it is.
Gary Hill: It's one thing this film is not guilty of, is never knowing what kind of film it is.
Gary Hill: It never takes anything crazy seriously.
Gary Hill: It amps up the action when it doesn't need to because it's a part of the film, the finale, where they're in the attic and she's trying to save the daughter and the baby from psycho-patent because she has been found out at this point.
Gary Hill: And the whole mcGovernment of the film is Annabelle's he or his asthma.
Gary Hill: It just kicks in, kicks in, kicks in because she collapses at some point in time.
Gary Hill: The ambulance has to come.
Gary Hill: Well, the finale of the film, she forgets that she has it all of a sudden, and then she's gamed to throw that bitch out the window, you know.
Suzanne: And it was like, it was just one of those things that it was just thrown there.
Suzanne: So it was spoon feeding, basically her weakness.
Suzanne: It's fucking Bruce Willis and water in the fucking M.
Suzanne: Night Shyamalan movies.
Gary Hill: It's kind of like the warlock Julian Sands, handsome, powerful man.
Gary Hill: How's he dying in that movie?
Gary Hill: Diabetes.
Gary Hill: That's how he dies in that movie.
Jeffrey X: I'm so sorry, Jerry.
Jeffrey X: I'm over here laughing because I'm just I'm hearing a slipknot in my head.
Suzanne: Psycho Payton.
Suzanne: Psycho Payton.
Gary Hill: I'm hearing Walter Payton in some fucking ruse.
Suzanne: But, you know, I guess the other thing that I hated and I realized it, like 30 minutes in, this family just treats Solomon like shit.
Suzanne: I mean, they truly do.
Suzanne: They're like, oh, no, you can't touch the baby.
Suzanne: You're not supposed to touch the baby.
Jeffrey X: Well, I mean, he was born.
Jeffrey X: He bought him a bike, damn it.
Gary Hill: It started.
Gary Hill: They start the film, though.
Gary Hill: Was a stranger that was running around about the house on the outside of the house.
Suzanne: Yeah, she drops a picture of whatever the fuck it was.
Gary Hill: And they didn't know what he was or what he was doing.
Gary Hill: So odds are, you know, black man, all white neighborhood.
Gary Hill: He's probably there to fucking rape their white daughter or something.
Gary Hill: Who knows?
Suzanne: Yeah, but I just, I...
Jeffrey X: Welcome home, brother Winston.
Gary Hill: Winston girl?
Gary Hill: Oh my gosh.
Suzanne: Oh God, that is never ever going to leave my head now.
Gary Hill: No, but this film was, I like it because it, you know, again, it goes, it knows the kind of film it is.
Gary Hill: It was not the first film like this, but definitely, definitely one of the first to do it and to really create the whole genre of film that, so I'm sorry, has done this, but has done it so much worse.
Gary Hill: But you know what?
Gary Hill: You keep watching because it's trash.
Gary Hill: And I watch this film, not on a loop, but I watch it every once in a while, turn it on because I know it's going to be trashy.
Gary Hill: I know there's the part where she's in on the examining bed at the gyno office with Dr.
Gary Hill: Pervy Hugh.
Gary Hill: When he drops that glove, I was like, it's time to get down to business, you fucking nasty fuck.
Gary Hill: You know?
Suzanne: There's certain scenes that were done so well.
Suzanne: Like I said, I've actually been the one with the fucking salad spoons in the syrups.
Suzanne: You know when it feels uncomfortable, that's never happened to me.
Suzanne: Thank you, great doctor.
Gary Hill: I've become a sick in my time, because I was watching this movie this time.
Gary Hill: And the part where he goes to put the glove on, but he doesn't put the glove on.
Suzanne: And then he pats it.
Suzanne: But you would be.
Gary Hill: The first thing that popped in my brain was, God, doc, one-handed.
Gary Hill: I don't know why I thought that.
Jeffrey X: Oh, my God.
Suzanne: No, usually, like I said, when, okay, this may need to be edited out.
Gary Hill: Don't mind me.
Suzanne: Leave it.
Gary Hill: Leave it.
Jeffrey X: What the hell is up there?
Suzanne: You could actually pull that little ass breast.
Gary Hill: Your mother should not be able to see this podcast.
Gary Hill: Okay, right now.
Suzanne: You could have, he could have just pulled that over her knees and she never would have known.
Suzanne: That's all I'm saying.
Suzanne: But he apparently got so comfortable, you know, free-fingering pregnant women that...
Gary Hill: No, I'm not gonna ask you, Suzanne, what happens during one of these exams, I imagine the doctor is thorough in that area, you know, how would she even know unless he was really getting in there?
Gary Hill: Why are we talking about this?
Gary Hill: Because apparently this was sexual abuse and apparently, you know, it causes asthma attacks.
Jeffrey X: I'm sorry, Suze, I'm just laughing because somebody was salad tonguing your gut like a fucking Popeye's commercial.
Suzanne: The salad spoons and the fucking straws.
Suzanne: Like what fucking rodeo is this?
Suzanne: I did not sign up for this.
Jeffrey X: Did you get coleslaw with your pep spear?
Suzanne: Oh, God, no, I'm totally not even touching this one right now.
Gary Hill: I'm making yeast-infested joke, but I'm not going to do that, okay?
Gary Hill: Help me believe that's the way that's said, okay?
Suzanne: We're not making sourdough bread down there.
Suzanne: Come on, man.
Jeffrey X: Look, they don't call it a yeast-infested joke.
Jeffrey X: Yeast-infection for nothing.
Gary Hill: I'm crying now, guys.
Gary Hill: Thanks.
Suzanne: Okay, slight sidebar.
Suzanne: There is this one company, this beer company, that were actually using yeast samples in their beers.
Suzanne: I'm like, what is the name of this place?
Suzanne: Do I never ever in this universe or any other buy your beer?
Suzanne: But they were actually like, oh my god.
Suzanne: So now gross.
Jeffrey X: Pilsner lingus.
Gary Hill: Now, the truth about this hilarious thing is that since 1992, this whole scene with the guy know, it could have been a Mentos commercial all day long.
Suzanne: The Freshmaker.
Jeffrey X: For some Diet Coke, you're good.
Jeffrey X: fucking, Graphing Spot.
Jeffrey X: Sorry, Graphing Burgspot.
Jeffrey X: I'd like to be accurate as much as possible.
Gary Hill: And this is where we all the review ends pretty much.
Gary Hill: And I have got final thoughts on this one, Paul.
Jeffrey X: Oh, God.
Jeffrey X: This may be the greatest piece of recorded media in the history of ever.
Jeffrey X: Oh, God.
Suzanne: I really feel like I need a cigarette and a beer.
Gary Hill: Oh, God.
Jeffrey X: I got a piece on that.
Jeffrey X: No, no, no.
Jeffrey X: I'm holding.
Jeffrey X: I'm holding it.
Jeffrey X: It's good for you.
Jeffrey X: I'm sorry, who's got final thoughts?
Gary Hill: Is it you, Sue?
Suzanne: Final thoughts.
Suzanne: If your nanny looks like Rebecca Dabourne, kiss her, kiss her.
Suzanne: They are, run.
Suzanne: There are things, this is a product of its time.
Suzanne: Watch The Silent Partner, I beg of you, watch The Silent Partner.
Jeffrey X: I agree.
Gary Hill: Oh my gosh.
Jeffrey X: Too much fun.
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Jeffrey X: Oh, this is a movie that I saw, and there were people in it, and it was in Oregon, and I live in Tennessee, that just seems exotic to me.
Jeffrey X: But I think The Hand That Rocks The Cradle doesn't wear gloves, much like John Delancey doing a pap smear.
Jeffrey X: I would watch this movie again, but only if I were drinking warm tap water after eating a sleeve of store-brand saltines.
Jeffrey X: That way, my food and my entertainment would be as flavorless as humanly possible.
Gary Hill: Wow.
Suzanne: That was so poetic.
Jeffrey X: Oh my gosh.
Gary Hill: I'll start my final thoughts with the phrase, okay?
Gary Hill: Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three, the cue is going in.
Gary Hill: There is no life I know to compare to pure ejaculation.
Gary Hill: No, I'm completely wrong.
Jeffrey X: What are your final thoughts, Russ?
Gary Hill: Mine are, you know, just like I said, I still like looking like it for what it is.
Gary Hill: I think one day if we did The Good Son, it'd be a better movie because it went more places in my opinion.
Gary Hill: But this is like I said, the blueprint of all this shit that you're watching now.
Gary Hill: And they have made their fucking nut on shit like this.
Gary Hill: Even some of our favorite trash directors are making them done on this shit.
Gary Hill: David DeCoto and other guy, Fredo and Ray are making hallmark films on the pseudonyms.
Gary Hill: So that's where the money is people.
Gary Hill: So that money would not be here if it wasn't for films like this.
Gary Hill: So, yeah, this is the thing.
Gary Hill: As Trent Wessner said, where is everybody?
Gary Hill: Oh, and Mike Patton said, what is this?
Gary Hill: Do y'all hate me?
Gary Hill: It's this.
Gary Hill: Oh, no.
Gary Hill: Okay.
Gary Hill: If you want to view Paradise, it's in between Caden's legs.
Gary Hill: Oh, dang dang it.
Gary Hill: Dang.
Gary Hill: Dang.
Gary Hill: Yes, indeed.
Gary Hill: All day long.
Gary Hill: And twice on Sunday, Peyton.
Gary Hill: I don't care what you've done, baby.
Gary Hill: Get it.
Gary Hill: Well, that's the end of this one.
Gary Hill: Coming up, we're talking about blood, babies, and scissors.
Gary Hill: But not in the fun way.
Gary Hill: We're going inside in 2007, after the break.
Gary Hill: Inside, original title, what do you call this, X, or do you pronounce this word?
Gary Hill: It's good for you.
Gary Hill: 2007, comes in a perfect hour and 22 minutes because it moves, baby, it moves so fast.
Gary Hill: It does, man.
Gary Hill: Plot synopsis of this, four months after the death of her husband, a woman on the brink of motherhood is tormented at her home by a strange woman who wants her unborn baby.
Gary Hill: That's accurate, kind of, because when she finds out, she knows just who it is.
Gary Hill: But anyway, anyway.
Gary Hill: Directed, two directors, Alexandria Bustillo and Julia Mari, written by Julia Mari and Andrade Bustillo.
Gary Hill: For some reason, they're in reverse, the writer and director, couldn't tell you.
Gary Hill: Uh, this star is Alison Paradis, is Sarah.
Gary Hill: Oh, ooh, does she have a name?
Gary Hill: I'm not sure if they were French people, okay?
Jeffrey X: So let's not do that.
Jeffrey X: Beatrice Dull.
Gary Hill: Do it.
Gary Hill: Yeah, that was pretty.
Jeffrey X: Beatrice Dull is the stranger.
Jeffrey X: Yeah.
Gary Hill: Oh, I dug this thing crazy.
Gary Hill: First time watching me, by the way.
Gary Hill: I mean.
Jeffrey X: Oh, really?
Gary Hill: I needed a shower.
Jeffrey X: It wasn't done.
Jeffrey X: Dude, you need to roll around in a freaking dust hill after this movie.
Gary Hill: When I hear about the, you know, certain films, I don't go into them, you know, half-cocked.
Gary Hill: I never really went into this film.
Gary Hill: It's like, I just like, I never watched Human Centipede.
Gary Hill: I never watched Serbian film.
Gary Hill: I never watched Martyrs.
Gary Hill: Wow.
Suzanne: I sadly own all of those.
Gary Hill: I think High Tension ruined it for me.
Suzanne: Well, the ending ruined the entire movie.
Gary Hill: This is my problem with the movie, yes.
Gary Hill: Once you get to the end, the whole goddamn thing is pointless.
Gary Hill: Not this film, though.
Gary Hill: Kick it to you, X.
Gary Hill: Thoughts on Inside, sir.
Gary Hill: I know you hate the remake.
Gary Hill: I know that's all I know so far, you know.
Suzanne: Well, the remake is dog shit.
Jeffrey X: Thank you.
Jeffrey X: Anyway, we think of Inside as one of the first French New Wave extremity horror movies or whatever fancy ass label they slapped on it.
Jeffrey X: I've always said that there's a recipe for making a French New Wave horror movie.
Jeffrey X: You take your main character and then you pour blood on them and then you wait for it to dry.
Jeffrey X: Then you pour more blood on them.
Jeffrey X: This movie is a supreme example of that.
Jeffrey X: Like Gary said, this movie is directed by Alexander Bustilleux and Hylian Mourey.
Jeffrey X: This is their first feature.
Jeffrey X: They also made The Deep House, which I thought was great.
Jeffrey X: They also made-
Jeffrey X: It's brilliant.
Jeffrey X: It's amazing, right?
Jeffrey X: And then they made LVD, which was-
Jeffrey X: I own it.
Suzanne: Do you really?
Jeffrey X: Yes.
Jeffrey X: Because I did not think it was great.
Suzanne: I liked it.
Suzanne: For me, it was beautiful to watch.
Suzanne: The day I got it in the mail, I watched it.
Suzanne: And then I started it all over again, because for me, it was just one of those movies that was just, it didn't have the level of disturbing that the other movie they did Among the Living did.
Suzanne: I'm so sorry.
Suzanne: I'm like butting into you.
Jeffrey X: No, you're fine.
Jeffrey X: Go, go, go, go.
Suzanne: But, Olivier, you give it a, you need to watch it back to back, because there's so much going on.
Suzanne: I mean, the sets are absolutely stunningly beautiful.
Suzanne: It's not, like I said, it's not kind of, for lack of a better term, gore fast.
Suzanne: And then they did Among the Living, which is just harsh.
Suzanne: It is fucking harsh.
Suzanne: Have you seen that one?
Jeffrey X: I have not.
Suzanne: I was, Among the Living is going to be a one and done for me.
Suzanne: Just because...
Jeffrey X: Oh, no kidding.
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Suzanne: It was very, very good.
Suzanne: I don't get me wrong.
Suzanne: But the storytelling was so good that it was painful.
Suzanne: This is one of those that I just, I felt down after I watched.
Jeffrey X: Damn.
Jeffrey X: Well, now I have to watch it.
Jeffrey X: Because I think as far as Laveed goes, I think that Abigail accomplished what Laveed was trying to do, but maybe 10 times better.
Suzanne: I, hmm, I know when I watched Abigail, the first thing that popped into my head was Laveed.
Jeffrey X: And that's fair.
Jeffrey X: Mine too.
Jeffrey X: Mine too.
Suzanne: I just, there is something.
Suzanne: I mean, maybe it was the time that I watched it.
Suzanne: Because I, oh my God, I, I really, I went through the French extreme thing in a matter of about a month, and I was watching to a night.
Suzanne: How I managed to stay sane, I don't know.
Suzanne: But I don't know.
Jeffrey X: Because it's French.
Jeffrey X: You didn't know what they were saying, dude.
Suzanne: And I was just, but once again, it's kind of like the Italians, the J-horror and the A-horror.
Suzanne: They're so visual in their storytelling.
Jeffrey X: I would rather watch a Fabrice DeWilts movie than a Maureen Bustillo movie.
Jeffrey X: And that's just me.
Jeffrey X: So I'm not a fan boy of these two by any stretch, but I generally like their work.
Jeffrey X: Does that make sense?
Jeffrey X: Yeah.
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Jeffrey X: So Inside is arguably their most famous movie.
Jeffrey X: And you know what?
Jeffrey X: There's a whole lot to it.
Jeffrey X: Oh boy.
Jeffrey X: It is about trauma and loss and revenge.
Jeffrey X: And it is a home invasion movie.
Jeffrey X: And it's about motherhood and blood loss.
Jeffrey X: And by the way, it's a Christmas movie.
Jeffrey X: There's a lot of heavy lifting for one film to accomplish.
Jeffrey X: I love horror, and I'm a horror guy.
Jeffrey X: And I think everybody who's ever listened to me on any show knows that.
Jeffrey X: But Inside is the most stabity movie I have ever seen.
Jeffrey X: Scissors, stabity, knife, stabity, big, long, pointy thing, stabity, chopsticks, stabity, right through the friggin skull stabity.
Jeffrey X: And that's interesting because the stranger in the house probably weighs about 80 pounds with boots on.
Jeffrey X: And that's Beatrice Dahl, by the way, probably most recognizable for the gap between her front teeth, not a slam.
Jeffrey X: That is distinctive, and you'll always know what's her in any movie she's in.
Jeffrey X: And she's really good at this movie.
Jeffrey X: She is slow, clever, and quiet, and she is anticipatory of anything that gets in her way.
Jeffrey X: Now her victim, Sarah, the pregnant woman, is not your normal final girl or victim.
Jeffrey X: She calls the cops.
Jeffrey X: She uses her flash camera to get the intruder's photo.
Jeffrey X: She fights back, and it is a natural response.
Jeffrey X: And for me, that is what makes inside work when it does work.
Jeffrey X: It's grounded in reality.
Jeffrey X: Nothing about this movie feels like a reach.
Jeffrey X: There's not much suspension of disbelief.
Jeffrey X: Even when people show up at her house, there's no surprise.
Jeffrey X: We are quickly told that those people are coming.
Jeffrey X: We just don't know when.
Jeffrey X: And when they do arrive, we are so taken by the bloody action that's already happened that we forget that guests are due to show up.
Jeffrey X: So here's what doesn't work.
Jeffrey X: People, it really doesn't work.
Suzanne: I know exactly where you're going.
Jeffrey X: Thank you.
Jeffrey X: We are accosted with an internal view of Sarah's baby inside the womb.
Jeffrey X: So when Sarah is assaulted, we see the baby jostled around in the amniotic sack, showing that the baby is in danger too.
Jeffrey X: It is uncomfortable and it's made even more uncomfortable because those shots are in terrible CGI.
Jeffrey X: And I mean, the worst CGI since The Lawn Mower Man.
Jeffrey X: Remember that dancing baby from Ally McNeil?
Jeffrey X: It's maybe a hair above that level.
Jeffrey X: And going from blood-soaked live action to a cut scene from the fucking Fight Club video game is jarring.
Jeffrey X: And it breaks the tension.
Jeffrey X: And it's pretty dumb.
Jeffrey X: But also, I don't need to see an unborn baby, no matter how poorly animated, get thrown around so hard that the umbilical cord wraps around its neck.
Jeffrey X: Oh, I have kids, I have grandkids, that shit's awful.
Jeffrey X: However, I am not a woman.
Jeffrey X: Maybe you've probably picked up on that.
Jeffrey X: But my experience with pregantay women is that when you're that far along, you have done shit.
Jeffrey X: You have humanized the kid.
Jeffrey X: You got the room ready.
Jeffrey X: You've picked out a name.
Jeffrey X: You've bought clothes, you've bought diapers.
Jeffrey X: It's not a fetus anymore at that point.
Jeffrey X: It is not a non-viable clump of cells.
Jeffrey X: It's another person.
Jeffrey X: You just have to get that person out of another person so you can shake its hand.
Jeffrey X: I mean, even Rosemary called her unborn baby, little Amy or Jenny, that doesn't happen in Inside.
Jeffrey X: And that is where a lot of terror lies.
Jeffrey X: The Stranger tells Sarah that she doesn't, quote, need that baby anymore, end quote, while holding the scissors that are meant to carve that baby out of Sarah's belly.
Jeffrey X: That's like telling someone, you don't need those shoes anymore.
Jeffrey X: You run your big toe through the fucking toe box and they have holes in them, you're done.
Jeffrey X: Or like, you don't need those sheets with the holes in them anymore.
Jeffrey X: There is a lack of humanity in Inside that is cold.
Suzanne: And horrible.
Jeffrey X: That baby is a bargaining chip.
Jeffrey X: It's a means to somehow make things right.
Jeffrey X: No spoilers.
Jeffrey X: It's just a commodity.
Jeffrey X: And here in the days of late stage capitalism, maybe we all are.
Jeffrey X: Maybe we're all just another consumer, another cog in the daycare machine.
Jeffrey X: Now look, I have weird friends.
Jeffrey X: Hi, everybody on this show.
Jeffrey X: I have weird friends who like weird shit, and I don't know a single one of them that who would say that they enjoyed Inside.
Jeffrey X: Admire it?
Jeffrey X: Sure.
Jeffrey X: Because it's made artistically.
Jeffrey X: This movie has gouts of arterial spray on par with any lone wolf and cub movie.
Jeffrey X: Gorgeously shot.
Jeffrey X: But Inside wasn't made for your enjoyment, and you're not supposed to feel good when it's over.
Jeffrey X: And you won't.
Jeffrey X: You want a happy movie?
Jeffrey X: Try something else.
Jeffrey X: The Mist, maybe.
Jeffrey X: Apocalypse Now.
Jeffrey X: Come and see.
Jeffrey X: I am a funny guy.
Jeffrey X: I mean, I think I'm a funny guy.
Jeffrey X: I like to say stupid shit, and I like to make people laugh.
Jeffrey X: And I was going to try to come up with some Christmas movie analogy for Inside because it does take place on Christmas Eve.
Jeffrey X: And I thought, OK, maybe the computer animated baby is Jesus and Sarah is Mary and the stranger is King Herod.
Jeffrey X: But you know what?
Jeffrey X: I couldn't make it go.
Jeffrey X: And I can make an analogy stretch from hell to breakfast.
Jeffrey X: But there is nothing joyous or happy about this movie.
Jeffrey X: Inside is just too fucking grim for that kind of thing.
Jeffrey X: Hallelujah.
Jeffrey X: Holy shit.
Jeffrey X: Where's my therapist?
Gary Hill: I'm going to go next on this thing.
Gary Hill: I don't know if the woman talked last, you know, about the very, very womanly, you know, themes of this movie.
Gary Hill: Because it's the first time watching me.
Gary Hill: Now, is the killer in the film supposed to be the friend she's talking to and towards the beginning of the film or no?
Gary Hill: No.
Gary Hill: No.
Gary Hill: They look very alike, which is very, very confused.
Gary Hill: I was like, well, she's got key to the house.
Gary Hill: And I said, she's in the house.
Gary Hill: But yeah, the whole thing, you know, once, once it gets going, which doesn't take long at all, this is not 22 minutes long, it doesn't stop.
Gary Hill: You know, it really, the part you knew when all bets were off is when, really when the first kill happens, which is not done by her killer, it's done by her, which, you know, the parents are at the house, the woman has already invaded the house, she reaches for a knitting needle or something in the bathrooms, and the open door is she thinks it's the killer, but it's not, it's her own mother, and she just jams that needle in her neck, sight unseen, and you just see the blood coming out, and you're like, well, she just killed her own mother, you know, all bets are off now.
Gary Hill: I'm not sure that statement was, because when I was watching this movie, I got first time watch, I bought it on Fandango now.
Gary Hill: I don't know what the cuts are, but I watched the Dimension Extreme version.
Suzanne: That's the copy I have.
Jeffrey X: Same.
Gary Hill: And once it went, it just kept going.
Gary Hill: And I'll vouch for those big scissors.
Gary Hill: My grandmother was a seamstress for like 60 years, and them scissors can do some damage, because they weighed about five pounds or something.
Jeffrey X: Those Fiskars motherfuckers will destroy everything.
Gary Hill: So yeah, that was the weapon pretty much that she used.
Gary Hill: So yeah, it's very believable that she could cut through flesh and bone with this thing because they were that goddamn heavy.
Gary Hill: So with the right rage and the right force, you know, yeah, she could she could carve through it through a leg and carve possibly through the sides of his head with the right amount of force.
Gary Hill: Who knows?
Gary Hill: But I believe about the window in this movie, because once shit started happening, shit was happening all the time.
Gary Hill: And her own motivation of this film, again, she got to steal somebody's baby.
Gary Hill: She want to steal this baby.
Gary Hill: And when you get to the end exposition where you get, I'm not going to tell you what that is.
Gary Hill: When you get to the end of the movie, you find out her motivation of why she wants her baby and why she wants her dead, is that she cost her something.
Gary Hill: She cost her a certain something that, you know, but when a mother loses it, you know, it's devastating to them.
Gary Hill: And to the male too, I'll get the male some credit too, but in this case, it was a woman on her own.
Gary Hill: And she just had disenraised her because she was thought dead, but she was still alive.
Gary Hill: And she just was angry.
Gary Hill: And she wanted this fucking baby.
Gary Hill: And spoiler, she got this baby in one of the fucking nastiest scenes I've ever seen in a fucking movie in all my life.
Jeffrey X: Jesus fucking Christ.
Gary Hill: It's fucking terrible.
Gary Hill: If something triggers you, it's probably going to happen in this movie.
Gary Hill: You get terrible lacerations.
Gary Hill: You get cat death in this movie for no reason at all because she kills the cat.
Gary Hill: And as it was, she killed the cat.
Gary Hill: Now I don't like her.
Gary Hill: I hate her even more now because she killed the cat.
Gary Hill: But yeah, it's just insane.
Gary Hill: You get amniotic fluid after blunt trauma belly in this movie, for Christ's sake.
Gary Hill: But like X said, the little CG stuff in here with the baby in the womb stuff, it looked better in Nightmare on Elm Street Part 5.
Gary Hill: And that's okay.
Gary Hill: What?
Suzanne: 1990.
Jeffrey X: When did the dream child come out?
Jeffrey X: Oh, God.
Jeffrey X: That was...
Suzanne: No, it had to be 90...
Suzanne: It had to be 90 or 89 or 90.
Gary Hill: But still, the possessed by Kruger child in Alice's womb looked better than this frickin thing that they just threw in here.
Jeffrey X: She's got roach legs.
Jeffrey X: She knows how to use them.
Gary Hill: Wrong, wrong.
Gary Hill: Never helps you, Phil.
Gary Hill: Come on, dude.
Gary Hill: Not bland.
Gary Hill: You're better.
Gary Hill: Um, but yeah, another point of CG in this film, which I didn't think it...
Gary Hill: Just cut away a little bit.
Gary Hill: In the show, she sets her own fire, but you get the CG hairspray and lighter gag where she burns half her face off.
Gary Hill: And that's all CG.
Gary Hill: And that takes me out a little bit, but then it sucks me back in when other shit happens.
Gary Hill: But for a second there, it's not really fair in the movie that it looks that shitty.
Gary Hill: Because for what you get, it's brutal.
Gary Hill: You feel it.
Gary Hill: I needed two showers after this, probably watching this movie for the very first time.
Gary Hill: And I told my sister, I kept describing the play by play while I was in the bedroom.
Gary Hill: I said, you're never going to watch this.
Gary Hill: Let me tell you what happens next.
Gary Hill: And I kept rewinding stuff because I kept saying, what the fuck is happening right now?
Gary Hill: So I would go back and be the annoying guy who rewinds things.
Gary Hill: I just kept rewinding a couple of minutes back to see where this is in context and what happens next.
Gary Hill: And then I just see that, so I kept rewinding shit because this film goes there in so many fucking ways.
Jeffrey X: You've got to drill your balls after this movie.
Gary Hill: Right down to the finale, it goes some places.
Gary Hill: Okay, you know, to where she's, oh, what is this film?
Gary Hill: And in a freaking Richard Downer Shrew is having in common.
Gary Hill: It's a toaster is all I'll say about that.
Jeffrey X: You know, Jesus, dude, that's an amazing connection.
Gary Hill: It's a toaster, man, is all I'm saying.
Gary Hill: But no, it's it's it's it's brutal.
Gary Hill: I love, I love, you know, I guess you would call her the final girl throughout this entire film, because she's the only one that that lives through any scene.
Gary Hill: Any time she shows up, you're thinking in your brain, you poor fucking bastards, you know, because this girl is so fucking array, she's going to murder anybody she sees.
Gary Hill: And she does with fucking gusto and blood and viscera and all of the above.
Gary Hill: And I really enjoyed my time in that sense of this film.
Gary Hill: This is subject matter that will say, make you question why you're watching this.
Gary Hill: And then when you get to the the gore and bone of this film, of the blood and grit, you'll say, I know why I watched it, but I know why I can't watch this for a very long time.
Gary Hill: That's how I feel right now.
Gary Hill: I watched it once.
Gary Hill: It's like the entity.
Gary Hill: I watched the entity once for the show.
Gary Hill: I haven't watched it since, because it made me feel that uncomfortable.
Gary Hill: You know, and that does this in certain parts of the film, and especially the finale.
Gary Hill: Because really, what's your end game?
Gary Hill: Old half-face there, you know.
Gary Hill: Because somebody's gonna find the house, somebody's gonna find all the, where all the bodies are buried, and...
Suzanne: Somebody's gonna put a bullet between their fucking eyes.
Gary Hill: Yes, I would hope so, but you know.
Jeffrey X: I want it to be me.
Jeffrey X: I want it to be anybody who watches this film, just like, oh, that bitch needs to be put down.
Gary Hill: Yeah, but it moves at a crazy pace, and it doesn't stop.
Gary Hill: It does.
Gary Hill: I'd say about 10 minutes in, when stuff starts to really happen, it doesn't stop for that hour and 12 minutes.
Gary Hill: It just keeps pumping, and it keeps getting more and more tension.
Gary Hill: It keeps making you feel more and more uncomfortable with the more and more shit happens.
Gary Hill: I mean, when the cop shows up, and he's like, oh, an officer-in-law's here, and he's missing his eyes, and then I mentioned the blunt force trauma of the belly and the amniotic fluid, that happens, because he can't see who it is.
Gary Hill: He thinks it's the killer, but it's her.
Gary Hill: So he hurts her instead.
Gary Hill: And you know what?
Gary Hill: It's really fucked up.
Gary Hill: And then it gets more up from there.
Gary Hill: So if you haven't seen it inside, I'd say watch inside.
Gary Hill: And I think you'll feel all these feelings, and then just feel really bad, but after you watched it, you know, because it's not a happy ending, people at all, you know.
Jeffrey X: That's a go to confession movie.
Gary Hill: Yes, it is.
Gary Hill: Hey, Patrick, guess what I watched today?
Gary Hill: Let me explain the plot to you, all the kills, you know.
Jeffrey X: You need 700 Hail Marys.
Suzanne: And that fucking rosary from now until the end of the month.
Jeffrey X: Uh-huh.
Gary Hill: I'll leave it to Sue now.
Gary Hill: Sue, what are your thoughts on the inside?
Jeffrey X: What do you think, Zeus?
Jeffrey X: You're the only one who has the proper organs for this shit.
Suzanne: Okay, just keep in mind, I don't have kids.
Suzanne: I have dogs and a cat and a snake and a lizard.
Suzanne: I just, I don't have children.
Suzanne: So I think I was a little bit, the first time I saw it, removed from that.
Suzanne: But I have friends that have kids.
Suzanne: I have nieces and nephews.
Suzanne: So I totally understand the mama bear mentality.
Suzanne: No, and that is a powerful fucking force.
Suzanne: And this is not a movie that I think was ever meant to be, for lack of a better term, enjoyed.
Suzanne: I don't even think endured is the word for it.
Suzanne: But it is a story about an accident that led to bad fucking shit happening.
Suzanne: I just, it's like for me, parts of this are just like high tension for me.
Suzanne: A little bit implausible, but then again, when you look at it, it's set up in a way that's believable.
Suzanne: Incredibly uncomfortably believable.
Suzanne: But if you are that crazed, you would be surprised what people can do.
Suzanne: It's like these people, something falls on their kid and they develop this superhuman strength.
Suzanne: This woman was so hell bent on revenge that maybe a little bit of that came through.
Suzanne: And, you know, just, this is, the first French extreme movie I watched was Frontiers, which I think is fucking brilliant.
Jeffrey X: It is brilliant.
Jeffrey X: I love you for that.
Jeffrey X: Mine was Calvair.
Jeffrey X: So, okay.
Suzanne: No, Calvair is up there, but Frontiers, and my husband hates subtitles.
Suzanne: Absolutely hates them.
Suzanne: Also hates extreme violence.
Suzanne: But I saw the subtitles.
Suzanne: I'm like, now I'll stop it.
Suzanne: We'll find something else to watch.
Suzanne: He's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Suzanne: Leave it.
Suzanne: He actually sat through it.
Suzanne: So I was really impressed with that.
Suzanne: But I watched this in Martyrs in the same night.
Suzanne: I really wanted Brillo Path to take off layers of skin because I felt unclean.
Jeffrey X: You need like a wood plane to get rid of the, just that upper layer of dermis to make you feel better about watching any of those movies, bruv.
Suzanne: Oh, yeah, it's, this movie is in exercise.
Suzanne: One of my friends had asked about it.
Suzanne: And she was pregnant.
Suzanne: I'm like, no, don't watch it.
Suzanne: Don't go anywhere near this fucking movie.
Gary Hill: No, no, no, no, no.
Suzanne: I, they're like, why?
Suzanne: I'm like, trust me, I'm an expert.
Suzanne: Don't watch this fucking movie.
Suzanne: So they watched it and got paranoid as all fuck.
Suzanne: We're not friends anymore, even though I said no.
Suzanne: They blamed me for making them watch it.
Jeffrey X: Sorry, honey.
Jeffrey X: That's all full of goddamn.
Suzanne: No, seriously.
Suzanne: We weren't really good.
Suzanne: We were more like friendly acquaintances that lived in the same fucking building.
Suzanne: And yeah, so that friendship was over.
Suzanne: And you know, I got scowls.
Suzanne: Like, I told you not to watch the fucking thing, did I not?
Jeffrey X: So that's it.
Jeffrey X: You hit the toolbox burgers?
Suzanne: Jesus, I should have fucking recommended that.
Suzanne: Jesus.
Suzanne: I should have fucking recommended Ms.
Suzanne: 45.
Jeffrey X: Talk to me before you do everything.
Jeffrey X: Oh, my God.
Gary Hill: Remember I came to your house that one Christmas and Pete and Jen were at the house?
Gary Hill: And I said, what are you watching my favorite Christmas films?
Gary Hill: You know, one of those, remember that?
Gary Hill: I mean, I mean, like Female Trouble, you know?
Gary Hill: It's just, it's, yeah.
Suzanne: Oh, yeah.
Suzanne: I came down with like the worst flu.
Suzanne: Yes.
Suzanne: yes.
Suzanne: But I love Female Trouble.
Suzanne: Well, I love John Waters.
Suzanne: But this, like I said, this is not a film to be enjoyed.
Suzanne: It isn't.
Suzanne: It is, it exercise in extreme violence, in the worst possible manner.
Suzanne: Right down, I mean, from the very beginning, and I know you said 10 minutes.
Suzanne: No, it starts with the car crash.
Suzanne: Kind of like Sorcerer.
Suzanne: And shit just goes off the fucking rails.
Suzanne: And when the first time I saw it, like I said, this was the second time I watched it, but she called that woman a twat for literally lighting up a cigarette and blowing smoke in her face.
Suzanne: And you could just tell it was just, she is eyeballing the target.
Suzanne: It is an incredibly uncomfortable movie.
Suzanne: Like I said, I watched Martyrs right after this.
Suzanne: I literally needed a fucking lobotomy.
Suzanne: It was two of the most extreme films I've ever seen, and it's not just extreme in the violence and the gore, in the subject matter, period.
Gary Hill: Suze, Suze, why do you hate yourself?
Suzanne: Because I, you know, it's funny.
Suzanne: I, this one group I belong to on Facebook, and we just have this weird little side thing with certain people.
Suzanne: And I think I just want to test exactly how much I can take before I go completely insane.
Gary Hill: Suzanne, how can we bring the Ace Freely out of the way?
Gary Hill: You know, because the Ace Freely part wants you to say, wash me, make me feel better.
Gary Hill: You know, put on your black leather.
Suzanne: Now, we were joking about making little patches for everybody.
Suzanne: Have either of you seen a Serbian film?
Jeffrey X: No, I have not.
Jeffrey X: And based on the description, I have four grand babies.
Jeffrey X: I'm not watching that shit.
Suzanne: No, don't do it.
Gary Hill: I heard baby rape when I was out, so I'm going to go, you know.
Suzanne: Look at it this way, it's cut, but it's still one of the most, it is probably, it's up there with solo and it's extremism.
Jeffrey X: I thought solo was funny.
Jeffrey X: What's that say about me?
Jeffrey X: But no, I just, I don't know why.
Jeffrey X: I just thought it was hilarious.
Suzanne: That was fucking hilarious.
Suzanne: But I always feel like I've got to compete and I don't know why.
Suzanne: What am I competing against?
Suzanne: Am I going to win a fucking medal for watching the most disturbing films of all time?
Jeffrey X: I mean, no, it's just, we need to see it because of who we are.
Suzanne: I think that's a, I just feel the need that, it's not even a question of one-upping.
Suzanne: It's just, yeah, been there, done that.
Jeffrey X: The need for speed.
Suzanne: Yeah, the need for extreme fucking gore that will make most people vomit.
Suzanne: Thank you very much.
Gary Hill: Well, we'll make you say in a very gay way that I'm on your tail, but it was easy to say that.
Suzanne: But this one, once again, it was one of the first frontiers with the first one.
Suzanne: This is, I think, second, Martyrs and then Colvair, and that I just went off the ramp there.
Suzanne: But it's, it is so, it leaves a mark on you.
Suzanne: It leaves an indelible mark after you've watched it.
Suzanne: This is, I own it.
Suzanne: This is the second time I watched it.
Suzanne: I actually hit a point where I stopped the movie because the rest of the movie played out in my head and I didn't want to see the cat die.
Suzanne: Sorry.
Jeffrey X: Two seconds.
Jeffrey X: You own this.
Jeffrey X: What company put this out?
Jeffrey X: Dimension.
Jeffrey X: No shit.
Gary Hill: Part of the dimension stream line.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Jeffrey X: Oh, the stream.
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Gary Hill: I need to have that because I hate myself too.
Suzanne: I know.
Suzanne: We do this for ourselves.
Suzanne: There's another one that they did called Formal.
Suzanne: I am a fucking masochist.
Suzanne: I am straight up.
Suzanne: I want to see if I can disturb myself so bad that they have to lock me in a little rubber room instead of me going, well, that was fucked up, going to the kitchen, shooting a fucking shot of tequila.
Suzanne: All right.
Suzanne: Moving on.
Suzanne: Next movie.
Suzanne: It's, but this is one that, I mean, you need to see Among the Living.
Suzanne: I'm begging you, X.
Suzanne: Watch it.
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Suzanne: Get back to me.
Jeffrey X: I mean, yeah, no problem, babe.
Suzanne: But it is an exercise in endurance.
Suzanne: The movie is an endurance run for its short running time.
Suzanne: It feels like it's hours of just prolonged torture.
Suzanne: Dude, you are not wrong.
Gary Hill: Yes, it does.
Suzanne: And I'm sorry, I kind of sidebar on a few other topics, but I feel it plays in.
Suzanne: But yeah, this is an exercise in endurance.
Suzanne: How much can you take and for how long?
Gary Hill: It doesn't stop.
Gary Hill: There's no breaks in there at all.
Gary Hill: It just doesn't stop.
Suzanne: No, there aren't.
Suzanne: And they're all equally painful.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Jeffrey X: And not a single bit of humor in the entire movie.
Jeffrey X: Nothing to let you breathe.
Jeffrey X: Nothing to let you collect yourself.
Jeffrey X: No, it just goes from one horrible thing to another that is even more horrible than the thing you just saw.
Suzanne: Yeah.
Gary Hill: And it couldn't really easily made those cops could conquer relief, you know, but it didn't do that.
Jeffrey X: I'll-
Suzanne: No, this was never meant to make you comfortable in any sense of the word.
Suzanne: No.
Gary Hill: Oh, my gosh.
Gary Hill: I'll kick my final thoughts first, just to throw it into play here.
Gary Hill: My watch is again, yes.
Gary Hill: I'm just about many films.
Gary Hill: This film, Wolf of Wall Street, stuff like that.
Gary Hill: I need to wait 10 years to watch it.
Gary Hill: So about 10 years from now, I'll watch it again.
Gary Hill: I'll still really admire what it does.
Gary Hill: So that's one thing about this film I can say, I admire what it does.
Gary Hill: It set a goal and it fucking did it with gusto.
Gary Hill: It's just uncomfortable.
Gary Hill: It did its job in that sense.
Gary Hill: It made you feel uncomfortable.
Gary Hill: And that's what its goal was.
Gary Hill: The subject matter warranted it.
Gary Hill: The tragedy warranted it.
Gary Hill: We find out at the end what happened.
Gary Hill: I think, yeah, I just, I dug quite a bit.
Gary Hill: I'll leave my thoughts there.
Gary Hill: If you could to Suzanne.
Suzanne: All right.
Suzanne: My thing between the two movies, one is visceral, one is psychological.
Suzanne: One will make you kind of slightly cross your legs.
Suzanne: The other will make you want to go scour a layer of skin off.
Gary Hill: One made me need a fucking notebook to stick it in front of my pants.
Gary Hill: So when I walked on the street, you know, that's all I'm saying.
Suzanne: But I think they're both products, The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, and you guys are completely correct.
Suzanne: It dates for how many, you know, my nanny tried to take my baby movies on Lifetime did they show.
Suzanne: Hundreds, inside, is just part of that small French extremism, new wave movement that-
Jeffrey X: My doctor put a finger in my butthole, but I don't have a prostate.
Gary Hill: Did he do it with his hand though?
Gary Hill: That's all I want to know, okay?
Suzanne: Well, if he used to, then dude, there's some issues there.
Gary Hill: My mind went there again, so you know.
Suzanne: But I mean, I think they're both, you know, for the 90s and The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, it's at that point, it might have been a bit extreme for the mainstream movie going audiences.
Suzanne: Inside or Lentiria is an exercise in endurance.
Suzanne: How much torture and pain can you watch before you snap?
Suzanne: It was beautifully done.
Suzanne: I really can't.
Suzanne: Yeah, the CGI baby was, I have to admit, at times, it made things even more uncomfortable.
Suzanne: But I think there's a lot to be said for the subject matter and, you know, the mama bear mentality.
Suzanne: So I'll leave it there.
Gary Hill: Cool.
Gary Hill: X.
Jeffrey X: Not everyone needs to see this movie.
Jeffrey X: It hits nerves.
Jeffrey X: It bores out emotional bone marrow.
Jeffrey X: If you or someone do you love or is planning to, if someone, two, three, if you or someone you love is or planning to become Pregunta, sear them away from inside because you need some distance from baby days to watch inside and not feel your guts gurgle and your asshole clench.
Jeffrey X: It's good.
Jeffrey X: It's good for sure.
Jeffrey X: It's maybe even great, but it's a one-time watch.
Jeffrey X: And I say that as someone who has now seen this three times.
Jeffrey X: So what the fuck is wrong with me?
Suzanne: Twice.
Suzanne: Twice.
Jeffrey X: Dude.
Jeffrey X: Dude.
Jeffrey X: It is brutal.
Jeffrey X: It's horrible.
Jeffrey X: Holy fuck.
Jeffrey X: I haven't let my wife watch it.
Jeffrey X: I sure as shit will let my daughter watch it.
Jeffrey X: She got four kids.
Jeffrey X: What the fuck?
Jeffrey X: No.
Jeffrey X: No, I'm not going to do that.
Jeffrey X: But goddamn, as someone with, you know, with external genitalia, I'm just like, fuck, this is awful.
Jeffrey X: I need to learn more about the woman that I'm in love with.
Jeffrey X: And this is just Christin terrible.
Jeffrey X: And yet it's so compelling to watch.
Jeffrey X: It's like, it's like if you did nothing but watch fucking fail in the army for like a week and a half, you know those people are in pain.
Jeffrey X: They are hurt.
Jeffrey X: They are in a bad way.
Jeffrey X: But, it's just like 90 times worse than that.
Jeffrey X: So yeah, good movie.
Jeffrey X: Don't watch it.
Gary Hill: Ooh, man, man, oh, man.
Gary Hill: Yeah, yeah, with what they said, I wouldn't leave it at that, too.
Gary Hill: We'll be right back to cleanse ourselves with brilopads and close out the show.
Gary Hill: Hey, guys, Happy Mother's Day, like I said once again, I hope you enjoyed our banter about vaginas and blunt objects and, you know, stealing babies some more ways than one and making bad song lyrics and making them worse.
Gary Hill: And doctors hands and stuff, all the stuff we talked about.
Gary Hill: We hope you really enjoyed the show.
Gary Hill: If you are a mother and surrogate mother, and that goes out to all you guys, you know, because surrogate mothers, surrogate aunties, we have a lot of them when we were kids, we have a lot of them now.
Gary Hill: So, I genuinely appreciate all you people that are out there doing the right thing, you know.
Gary Hill: But again, don't make your folks watch Inside, you're gonna be a mother.
Jeffrey X: Bigger kids watch Riding Cars of Boys.
Jeffrey X: That's filmed at that un-witted commercial watch because what is wrong with you?
Suzanne: Steve Vaughn has bad friends.
Jeffrey X: Well, I know he is the bad friend of that movie because he's the deadbeat dad in that movie.
Jeffrey X: And that's right.
Suzanne: He is a deadbeat dad.
Jeffrey X: That and that, of course, he is the reality of today is the deadbeat father and the woman that has to raise her kid on her own.
Jeffrey X: So I think as a watch, if you're going to be a mother, I think it's very important to watch that movie.
Jeffrey X: It's just no.
Jeffrey X: Watch Kramer vs.
Jeffrey X: Kramer because.
Suzanne: Oh, shit, yeah.
Jeffrey X: Fuck it.
Jeffrey X: Thank you.
Jeffrey X: Yeah.
Suzanne: I love that.
Suzanne: This is my era of, I want to watch something psychologically devastating.
Suzanne: Kramer vs.
Suzanne: Kramer.
Jeffrey X: You don't get that ice cream.
Jeffrey X: I swear to God, if you go up and get that ice cream, I'm gonna spank you.
Jeffrey X: Oh, oh, oh.
Jeffrey X: Oh, so this show upset you.
Jeffrey X: We're sorry, but not sorry.
Suzanne: Now we're totally not sorry.
Jeffrey X: Yeah, I'm never sorry about my shit.
Jeffrey X: Enjoy your special dinner.
Jeffrey X: Is it your special time?
Jeffrey X: My mother's special dinner was crab legs.
Jeffrey X: She loved to eat them goddamn things and take forever and a goddamn day to eat them.
Jeffrey X: What everybody else is eating, she was still fucking sucking that goddamn meat out of them legs.
Jeffrey X: Listen, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to do this mother's day.
Jeffrey X: I'm going to make some fettuccine alfredo, which were shrimp, and not eat crab legs for that reason, okay?
Jeffrey X: Because Carrell, my mama, she loved crab legs.
Jeffrey X: And I hate to sit around watching her eat them because it took forever.
Jeffrey X: So there's that.
Jeffrey X: There's just work.
Jeffrey X: My mother-in-law, who I call mama, she wants tacos.
Jeffrey X: And she wants tacos for her birthday, and she wants tacos for mother's day.
Jeffrey X: And I'm confused.
Jeffrey X: Oh, white girl tacos for sure.
Jeffrey X: Like no tongue, no, no, no.
Jeffrey X: No lingua, no Maria.
Jeffrey X: I love hamburger tacos, still to this day.
Jeffrey X: It's one of those things from my mom, my especially poor days that, you know, you can put it together with like three ingredients and you know what?
Jeffrey X: You had hamburger tacos.
Jeffrey X: So much like the ghetto ice cream, I love hamburger tacos still, okay?
Jeffrey X: And that's where we're at.
Jeffrey X: But let me say this, and I don't want to offend anybody or make anybody sad, but my biological mother, we went up there last weekend and we gave her planter boxes for her portrayalings in a wave petunias.
Jeffrey X: And it was sweet because that's the shit that she loves.
Jeffrey X: And for Mother's Day, we're giving a mother-in-law, my cootney's mother, and we live here, so of course she's my mama too.
Jeffrey X: And we're giving her a new porch swing, which she hasn't had in fucking five years.
Jeffrey X: So be good to your mothers as much as you can.
Jeffrey X: I mean, I know a lot of you have had terrible experiences with your mothers, and I get it.
Jeffrey X: If you can, and that's if, if you can get past it, please be good to your mamas, because that's an important thing of being a good human.
Jeffrey X: I'm sorry, I'll be quiet now.
Jeffrey X: Go ahead.
Jeffrey X: You're cool.
Jeffrey X: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Jeffrey X: Let it roll.
Suzanne: Let it roll.
Jeffrey X: That was amazing.
Jeffrey X: I call mom and dad, I mean Rico, my best friend in the world.
Jeffrey X: He was on the very first episode of the show, actually.
Jeffrey X: His mom, Teresa, I still call her mom to this day, because he spends enough time at somebody's house, you know, and they're close to you, you call them mom.
Jeffrey X: Dude, they feed you, they give you fucking unsweetened orange Kool-Aid, that's your mom.
Jeffrey X: My friend Wally, I call Walter Senior, I call him dad all the time, because I told him I ain't got no dad no more, so you're going to be that guy now.
Suzanne: My mother loves you, Gary.
Jeffrey X: I know, I love your mom too.
Suzanne: No, she considers you one of her own.
Jeffrey X: I appreciate that about her.
Jeffrey X: I appreciate that about her totally.
Jeffrey X: Oh, boy, but yeah, yeah.
Jeffrey X: Love them.
Jeffrey X: Love all the mothers.
Jeffrey X: That's good stuff.
Jeffrey X: Next up, we will not have a talk about blood and vaginas and violating vaginas and all this stuff.
Jeffrey X: Well, maybe some vagina violation.
Jeffrey X: I'm not sure.
Jeffrey X: But motorcycles, sex, sharing lollipops among children, Iggy Pop at a wash tub, Johnny Depp, Elvis Presley.
Jeffrey X: Yes, all these things roust about and cry babies, starts to rebel without a pause month.
Jeffrey X: And we're going to have none other than Richard Glenn Schmidt with us from Hello This Is a Doom Show.
Jeffrey X: I would call it a legitimate podcast compared to my own because Richard does it so well.
Jeffrey X: I love this guy.
Jeffrey X: I've been on the show for like three years now.
Jeffrey X: I said, I owe you a show, dude.
Jeffrey X: You're going to come on.
Jeffrey X: This is what we're doing.
Jeffrey X: This is the one that he chose.
Jeffrey X: You may hear more of Richard in later episodes, but next time, he will be on the show.
Jeffrey X: I'm looking very much forward to that show because I love that guy.
Jeffrey X: He's nuts.
Jeffrey X: He loves garbage.
Jeffrey X: That's what I love about Richard.
Jeffrey X: The better garbage, the better.
Jeffrey X: The more Karen Mitchell of it all, the better.
Jeffrey X: As he said in the show, the lambabra, the better.
Jeffrey X: All the stuff.
Jeffrey X: That's next episode.
Jeffrey X: I'll kick it to you guys.
Jeffrey X: Got some to push.
Jeffrey X: Jeffax, you got some to push there?
Jeffrey X: I have nothing to plug.
Jeffrey X: There are books out there that I wrote somewhere.
Jeffrey X: Go to Amazon, look for Jeffrey X Martin, and that's probably real fun shit.
Jeffrey X: I got articles of Biffbomb.
Jeffrey X: Biffbomb.
Jeffrey X: Biffbombpup.
Jeffrey X: Biffbombpup, not Buffbombpup.
Jeffrey X: Bittybong.
Jeffrey X: Wingbong.
Suzanne: Well, you got like kind of the British going on there.
Suzanne: So yeah, I would go with that.
Gary Hill: I wrote a video.
Jeffrey X: Look, there's a new show coming someday.
Jeffrey X: Things have been crazy.
Jeffrey X: Life has happened.
Jeffrey X: So we're sort of pushed back on that pre-production, but it is really happening.
Jeffrey X: I promise.
Jeffrey X: And beyond that, if you want some, come get some.
Jeffrey X: I'm at Tender Bray Wyatt at Blue Sky.
Jeffrey X: And that's really all I've got, except Happy Mother's Day, you bunch of mothers.
Jeffrey X: Oh, if I could, I'd play the fucking Redneck Mother's song at the end of this, no problem.
Jeffrey X: Up against the wall, Redneck Mothers.
Jeffrey X: Thank you, George F.
Jeffrey X: Walker.
Jeffrey X: So we see many songs on this show.
Jeffrey X: We have no right to see any of them, but so you're welcome.
Jeffrey X: None, none.
Jeffrey X: So I'm sorry if you get a DMCA strike, I'll be surprised.
Suzanne: So next time I'm going to have Pat just play me in.
Suzanne: God, that was kind of cool.
Jeffrey X: That's how you get busted for copyright, babe.
Jeffrey X: Come on now.
Suzanne: No, I don't think that's reasonable.
Jeffrey X: Because we're making millions of dollars on this show.
Jeffrey X: I'll say this again.
Jeffrey X: We sure are hot damn just splitting it up like we're at the fucking Cashfield, Kentucky.
Suzanne: I need my monocle and my cane.
Jeffrey X: I just let the whores right out the window.
Jeffrey X: That's all I do.
Jeffrey X: I do now.
Jeffrey X: Yeah, I can afford that, you know, my heavy equipment, they get off my dick and they're right out the window.
Jeffrey X: They go, you know, I can afford that action, you know, because this lovely show right here, you know, the copyright laws, they fail to do.
Jeffrey X: That's what I'm talking about.
Jeffrey X: You have the DCMA bullshit.
Jeffrey X: Yeah, exactly.
Suzanne: Yeah, I can eat my dick.
Jeffrey X: Yeah, precisely.
Jeffrey X: Strike me, dickhead.
Jeffrey X: New stuff coming.
Jeffrey X: This summer, I got to say this again.
Jeffrey X: Mark, our own Iris, and one of my mentors, Mr.
Jeffrey X: Mike Murphy, are bringing back the Bloodbath Boobs and Blood Blast.
Jeffrey X: BB&BC podcast, about that way, okay?
Jeffrey X: Yeah, that show is coming back.
Jeffrey X: I fucked up your intro, Mike.
Jeffrey X: I'm sorry.
Jeffrey X: I didn't remember what it stood for either, so it's fine.
Jeffrey X: It's been a while, as Aaron Lewis would say, and Nudie would say at the podcast many, many times.
Jeffrey X: Yes, but that's coming back.
Jeffrey X: Shoot, Tentacles and Chesticles is finally coming, hopefully soon, with myself and Bill Cassidy, where we're going to talk about the Devilfish for the very first time, for the very first episode.
Jeffrey X: Oh, God.
Jeffrey X: That has both of those things.
Jeffrey X: I'm structuring the show right now.
Jeffrey X: I have written down a notebook on how I want it to go.
Jeffrey X: And I'm going to throw a little flavor from our friends at the Short Bus Cinema.
Jeffrey X: I just got some 12-inch singles, Oingo Boingo's Dead Man's Party and Weird Science.
Jeffrey X: And I made me think about Johnny Krueger real bad.
Jeffrey X: And that was something he enjoyed doing with Ricky.
Jeffrey X: So I'm going to put some elements of that show in that show, because, again, I'll say this every day and twice on Tuesday.
Jeffrey X: If you're feeling depressed, you feel like you got nobody to talk to, as James Taylor said, you got a friend.
Jeffrey X: And just reach out to somebody.
Jeffrey X: I don't give a fuck who it is, me, ex, your fucking neighbor if you want to, Suzanne.
Jeffrey X: It doesn't matter.
Jeffrey X: I'm always here, y'all.
Jeffrey X: Please, please hit me up.
Jeffrey X: I will do what I can.
Jeffrey X: You're worth more than doing yourself in.
Jeffrey X: And that's what happened to Johnny.
Jeffrey X: That's the guy who I loved, who didn't love himself.
Jeffrey X: And that's sad to me, you know?
Jeffrey X: Oh my gosh.
Jeffrey X: I'm laughing and I'm crying, see?
Jeffrey X: But I'll leave it at that.
Jeffrey X: And next week, fun stuff coming, guys.
Jeffrey X: Fun stuff coming all month.
Jeffrey X: And may torture Suzanne to make her head explode, that's all I'm saying.
Suzanne: Why do you want to torture me?
Jeffrey X: You're doing scammers?
Jeffrey X: No, no, no, no.
Jeffrey X: We're doing Airborne, where the guy called me.
Jeffrey X: He called me to go bra the whole film, so you know.
Jeffrey X: Surfer Dude, Jack Black, and Seth Green looking like the singer from The Beats on the Doug Cartoon Show, so you know.
Suzanne: Oh God.
Jeffrey X: Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Jeffrey X: Oh my gosh.
Jeffrey X: You're gonna sue me, Disney.
Jeffrey X: Fuck you too.
Jeffrey X: How about that?
Suzanne: Eat a dick, Disney.
Jeffrey X: Sue me, Disney, god damn it.
Jeffrey X: I'm gonna leave it at that and say this is Bigger Suits Beef Podcast.
Jeffrey X: If you got beef, we've got the meat and the potatoes.
Jeffrey X: We're gonna wash the table.
Jeffrey X: See y'all next time.
Gary Hill: How about a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?
Suzanne: There's a reason I've never dated anybody who is blonde, because they're not Dolph Lundgren.
Suzanne: I saw Rocky IV, and I'm like, no blonde man for me unless it's Dolph Lundgren.
Jeffrey X: You don't want me to invade you like Russia?
Jeffrey X: You don't want me to do that for you now?
Suzanne: Oh, he can invade whatever the he wants.
Jeffrey X: You get in the bedroom, you stand at the bed post and say, I'm a lesbian, and you say, go ahead, you know,
